General Question

burntbonez's avatar

What does it feel like to get hit on?

Asked by burntbonez (5194 points ) December 6th, 2012

A woman once told me she gets anxious whenever she feels like she is being hit on. She was an attractive young woman who had a strong need to please others. I imagine she must be reluctant to go out much since it is likely she’d have to deal with being hit on a lot. Has being hit on changed your behavior?

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50 Answers

Shippy's avatar

I feel highly irritated. I get hit on a lot. I have no idea why, I must have a “fuck me” radar on my head.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Shippy LMAO. “fuck me radar”? Oh god that’s funny. I’m male and I don’t like it. When a woman comes on strong my barriers go up big time. Go nice and easy and let me get to know you and I like it. But don’t come on like crazy and expect me to respond positively.

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Coloma's avatar

Haha…..I find it flattering but, quite frankly, my complaint as a very humorous and outgoing female is having my natural friendly and gregarious nature mistaken for being a come on at times.
WTF!
It really irritates me that so many men see a woman who is just being her natural self, friendly, open, humorous as a come on.
Fuck…don’t flatter yourself so much, just because I am a playful and approachable female doesn’t mean I want to suck your missile pop.
Such are the trials of being a natural born comedienne packaged in the body of a spitfire little blonde.

Get over yourself!

Shippy's avatar

@Coloma You have a point, I am going to read the answers here very carefully. I need to change and its sad. I am friendly, warm and outgoing. This is what they are reading into perhaps.

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marinelife's avatar

Intrusive.

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tedd's avatar

I have only been hit on (at least unbeknownst to me) maybe half a dozen times in my life.

I enjoyed it each time. It’s nice to feel wanted. I could see how it could be annoying if it happened on a near daily or daily basis and most of the “hitters-on” were not my type.

As a guy who once did quite a fair share of hitting-on, I like to think I developed my “talent” enough to make it more flirtatious than creepy… and by early college I had figured out the signs that a girl was not at all interested, and I usually moved on from those ones.

But I have seen many a guy try hitting on a girl with clearly no idea what he’s doing. It’s funny from my prospective. I could see it being rough for the girl though.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Flattering unless they persist, then I get nervous and usually get away quickly.

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Blackberry's avatar

It doesn’t happen often, but it’s flattering. The last person to hit on me smelled my chest at a bar lol.

Mama_Cakes's avatar

Flattering.

cookieman's avatar

I wouldn’t know. :: sniff ::

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bookish1's avatar

For me it feels confusing. In my past life before I transitioned, I always had to be the pursuer, and I was very good at it. I’m not used to being hit on at all. I still don’t even really know how to recognize it, coming from a guy. It’s easier for me to recognize coming from a woman, and I’m barely interested in them anymore.

Seek's avatar

Well, I kind of enjoy the attention, for the most part, as long as you don’t touch me. I need my hula-hoop space.

Once, this utterly drunk dude kept circling the bar, groping every woman in the place. At the fifth or sixth time, I told him if he laid another finger on me, I was going to punch him in his f**king face.
About 10 minutes later he came up behind me and grabbed me by the arm. And I punched him in his f**king face. And he flew out the back door of the bar into the courtyard. It was fantastic. And then someone bought me a G&T. Which was also fantastic.

DominicX's avatar

Well, as a homosexual, most people I come into contact with aren’t homosexual and when I go to parties, straight girls assume I’m straight and I’ve been hit on before. And yeah, my reaction is usually to find it flattering. I don’t try and lead them on—I often do have to let them know that I’m not going to be interested, but it’s nice to know that I’m being noticed and being viewed in a positive-enough light that I’m worth hitting on :)

I also feel like men are maybe more likely to be view it as flattering whereas women may often find themselves seeing it as intrusive or creepy. Not trying to be “reverse sexist” or anything like that, that’s just been my observation.

janbb's avatar

I don’t know if I’d recognize it if it happened.

Unbroken's avatar

Most of the time I like being the pursuer it can make me uncomfortable to be hit on by people. Especially if it is unwanted and they aren’t getting the message or if they cross any lines ok and also if they are sending out unpleasant vibes. Flirtation or letting me know they are into me should I want to pursue it can be validating even if I don’t want to pursue it.
I need to find Coloma’s style and steal it.

hearkat's avatar

The few times it happened, I felt sorry for the guy because he must be terribly desperate.

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tups's avatar

Depends on who’s hitting, really. Sometimes I don’t know if people are playing a game with me, making fun of me or if they are just good-old flirting. That’s more the problem for me and I’m not sure how to respond either.

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wildpotato's avatar

Either flattering or awkward. Dudes walking by saying Hey, what up shortie? is fun as all hell, but the half-drunk guys on the subway who mistake my ability to listen and be interested in crazy-talk for erotic interest get a little creepy.

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gailcalled's avatar

Ir’s been a while but annoying if uninvited and really irritating if persistent.

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flutherother's avatar

I don’t like the phrase ‘hit on’ as it sounds predatory and crude. It is better if someone grows fond of you gradually.

Unbroken's avatar

@Coloma. Hahah. Well some of us still like mudpuddles. I know what you mean though. My friends are so excited when I date someone. They say things like don’t overthink it r, you are so critical, if you found the perfect person why the hell would they want you. There is no perfect person, just settle if you want to settle. But you better hurry before you start losing your looks, who do you think will find you then? Such cheerful friends.

@flutherother that is the ideal. But being hit on happens. Unfortunately there is no unobtrusive sign that says hitting on me is a waste of time. Although maybe there is a shirt for that.

kimchi's avatar

I feel super quesy.

gailcalled's avatar

@flutherother: “Being hit on” is an idiom or a cliché (take your pick) to explain a behavior that we all understand. It is, of course, better if someone grows fond of you gradually. But that was not the question.

Years ago at a party in Manhattan, I remember a guy, apparently extremely drunk, who wandered over and whispered in my ear, “I’d like to lick your c*nt.” I started to laugh. It was a technique not designed to start a wonderful relationship.

woodcutter's avatar

When someone else has to tell me that I was being hit on because I didn’t “get it” feels embarrassing I think. It might take days after thinking about it to figure it out, duh.

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livelaughlove21's avatar

I get hit on quite a bit by older men. It’s either really sweet and flattering or just plain creepy, depending on how they go about it.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

It usually feels flattering and makes me smile. There’s the occasional creeptastic moment that gives me the heebie-jeebies.

deni's avatar

I don’t mind it really. Unless he’s a douchebag or won’t take no for an answer.

augustlan's avatar

Depends on how they do it, I guess. Being cat-called on the street is irritating, at best. That doesn’t happen to me anymore, but it was a huge issue when I was a teenager. Buying me drinks makes me feel weird, like you think I owe you something now. Being fun and flirty is fine (and fun!), but I always make it a point to mention my husband early on. I don’t wear a ring, so people sometimes assume I’m single.

A neighborhood woman used to hit on me constantly when she was drunk. Like, whisper in my ear, “I just wanna’ kiss you so bad right now”, in a room full of neighborhood people. That was kind of hot, but pretty awkward, since we were both married (to men).

Paradox25's avatar

It depends on my mood, the enviroment and the person doing it. Unfortunately the majority of girls who’ve ‘hit’ on me were trouble magnets, had too many kids or I just wasn’t into them. I’ve gotten some younger girls, like 18 to 21, who had expressed interest in me but I’m in my late 30’s and I felt that is just too young for me. I look like I’m closer to 20 than my actual age, but even after telling those girls my age they said they didn’t care. I just can’t see what I could have in common with a girl that young. The women I do click with the most are usually taken.

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