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poisonedantidote's avatar

(One Way Trip): If you could transport anyone back in time to the dark ages, who would you send and why?

Asked by poisonedantidote (21539 points ) January 10th, 2013

Ah the dark ages, those were the days. Plenty of hand to hand war, disease, torture, corruption, crime, and all sorts of other wonderful things.

If you had the ability to send anyone back to the dark ages, who would you send and why?

I would send Nicky Minaj back, right in the middle of a performance of “stupid hoe” directly in to a kings chamber. The reason being for her creation of that terrible ‘song’.

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30 Answers

mazingerz88's avatar

This is soooo easy. All stupid reality TV stars.

Pachy's avatar

Here are some of my picks:
* All the Kardasians
* Justin Bieber
* Mitch O’Connell and John Boehner
* The scary pro-gun guy who ranted and raved on Piers Morgan’s show the other night

Oh, I don’t have time to list everybody I’d send back.

Seek's avatar

Does it have to be the Dark Ages? I want to send all Tea Party members back to Imperial Rome. Since it seems to be what they claim to want, anyway.

poisonedantidote's avatar

Yea, may as well make it any place any time, lets just give it a 200 year minimum.

zensky's avatar

The asshole my ex cheated with.

kitszu's avatar

Me. Curiosity.

Bluefreedom's avatar

My first wife. She would fit in well in an environment like they had back in those days.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Well, I’d kinda like to send myself back, just because I’ve always wondered what it was like in that period.

The only conditions would be that I would be wealthy, well liked, and not have to bear children. (I don’t want to be dropped into a pile of chamber pot filth, have people trying to do me in, or die from lack of proper medical care.)

If I were sending someone back out of cruelness, I’d probably want to send back the two men who ruined part of my life, my evil 6th grade math teacher, and the red hound who lives behind us.

glacial's avatar

But what if all these 2nd-tier celebrities actually had an effect on the Dark Age culture in which they land? What shape might the future take?

jonsblond's avatar

Chris Matthews. I couldn’t stand how he gushed over Obama during the 2008 primaries. He made it very clear he was in favor of Obama over Hillary. I lost all respect for that man during the primaries and quit watching MSNBC because of him.

can you tell I’m still bitter with Hillary’s loss?

poisonedantidote's avatar

@glacial If any of them managed to survive longer than 15 minutes I would be amazed. As soon as they clap eyes on Nicky and her pink hair, making strange noises and talking an unknown language that they can kind of half understand, about bitches and custody and stupid hoes, I am quite sure they would just burn her under the assumption that it’s a demon.

zenvelo's avatar

Donald Trump to the Inquisition to answer for his hair.

poisonedantidote's avatar

Paris Hilton being made to chip-in on the construction of the pyramids, now there is a nice image.

Michael_Huntington's avatar

I’d send myself back and bathe in the blood of heathens. Why should my enemies get all the fun?

If I had to send my enemies to a time period, it would be at the beginning of time so they would be bored to death. I’d rather not reveal their names.

janbb's avatar

Hitler

flutherother's avatar

Me; these are the dark ages.

Self_Consuming_Cannibal's avatar

In addition to Nicky Minaj, I would send Ketcha, Sean Paul and Al Sharpton.

The reason is so they could stop spreading the stupidity.

FutureMemory's avatar

George Bush, a year or so before the 2000 election.

bolwerk's avatar

Christian supremacists probably should see what ti was like back when the Church was in charge.

Then, so should this guy.

livelaughlove21's avatar

@janbb I believe he might already be dead. :)

janbb's avatar

Oh – I sort of assumed it meant while he was alive; not still living. :-)

In that case, perhaps Assad.

jerv's avatar

The Teapublicans; their hearts and minds are already there, so why not send their bodies too?

wildpotato's avatar

Myself: male, wealthy, and definitely not in Europe. China would be awesome.

PhiNotPi's avatar

I’d actually not want to send certain groups of people back in time, lest they be revered as gods upon arrival and fundamentally alter human history.

dabbler's avatar

Chuck Norris only because he’s the answer to all kinds of questions about whom to send where, and sending him would give someone else a chance.

AshLeigh's avatar

Whoever created Charlie the Unicorn.
Do I get to watch what happens, or is my work done once they’ve been sent?

Pachy's avatar

While we’re at it, let’s Lindsay Lohan back, too. I’m sure she could find plenty of ways to get herself in trouble.

ETpro's avatar

I’d send me, but I’d take along a tricked out AR-15 modified for full-automatic fire with a belt feed and as many cases of amo as the time machine could handle. Time to seriously kick some ancient ass, set myself up as a god, and irreparably alter the timeline.

kitszu's avatar

Lol, good question, very interesting answers. I’m going to take page from ETpro and modify my answer to include taking my crossbow. It’s got a 150 lb.pull and and I’m wicked with it.

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