As a parent, how would you handle this classroom incident that the teacher described as "stealing?"?
My daughter went to pick up her 8 year old 3rd grader, Aden, from school. The teacher approached her and Aden’s step mom, and told them that Aden had stolen something off of her desk.
She didn’t say what was stolen and they didn’t ask (wish I had been there!) She left them with the impression it was a personal item or something.
So the Moms got Aden’s side of the story at home.
Well, he “stole” the spelling list for the week.
It turns out Aden didn’t write down his spelling words last Friday, because he just doesn’t like doing it. He was in trouble at both homes already for that.
Yesterday, Tuesday, he went up to the teacher’s desk to get his agenda book, saw the list, picked it up and took it back to his desk and started writing the words down.
The teacher “caught” him, took the list away, erased all of the words he’d written, then took him out in the hall. She mad him repeat “I do not take things off of the teacher’s desk,” about 5 times.
Then she made him skip recess and just sit at his desk.
The poor kid was just trying to make his mistake right.
I was pissed. So was my daughter and Aden’s step mom. My daughter and I discussed it. I said I would definitely talk to the teacher, see if there was more to it than that, but I also felt it was important not to question the teacher’s actions too harshly in front of Aden. I wouldn’t want to give him the impression it’s OK to challenge the teacher, just like it won’t be OK to challenge his boss (with exceptions of course) when he grows up because Aden felt he or she is being unfair. I stressed that it was Corrie’s job to confront the teacher, not Aden’s. I told her I went to bat for her and her brother more often than they knew. (They were both good students, and very respectful.)
I pointed out that this was a consequence of him not doing his spelling on Friday like he was supposed to. It was an unfair consequence, to be sure, but life isn’t fair. It is things like this that allow us to teach our kids how to handle things calmly and intelligently when life isn’t fair.
Also, apparently his older sister, Brande, had this same teacher last year and from what Brande said it sounds like she was kind of a bully with the kids. I told Corrie that in view of that, I’d wait a couple of weeks, let this fade, then pull him out of her classroom and put him in the other 3rd grade classroom, and I’d lodge my complaints and reasons with the principal.
I hate it when you get a teacher who has no idea how a kid’s mind works. Hate it. They should not be teaching. It’s like a programer who has no idea how programs work.
My oldest had a 2nd grade teacher like that. She pissed me off so bad that I pulled my daughter from the public school system and enrolled her in a private school, but I didn’t make a huge deal about any of it in front of my daughter.
What are your thoughts?