Social Question

fluthernutter's avatar

How expensive does something have to be before you get your partner's input on it first?

Asked by fluthernutter (2565 points ) December 17th, 2013 from iPhone

Not permission, per se. But is there a particular price point where you would run it by them first?

What if it’s a surprise for them? How would you feel if they were surprising you with an extravagant (for your means) gift?

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23 Answers

anniereborn's avatar

Thirty bucks

cookieman's avatar

Probably $100.00.

If it is a gift giving situation, we usually set our budgets in advance and have at it.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

One sextillion.

YARNLADY's avatar

I would usually discuss it in advance, but over $100 would be most likely.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Never even thought about it in terms of cost. If I want her input cost is irrelevant.

Pooh54's avatar

If it has to do wiwth something like a car, we both have input. The hubby has better judgement than I do when it comes to buying things. I always ask on anything ove $100.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Interesting question & one which I don’t recall ever thinking about. I think the conversation becomes critical depending on the utility of the purchase. For instance, I bought a compressor without even thinking of consulting the wife, but would not even consider the purchase of a single stick of furniture or any sort of appliance without her approval. I have the great good fortune to have a very sensible wife. There are impulse buys that surprise me. They are invariably wonderful gifts for others (particularly kids) or musical instruments. I’m a lucky man.

hearkat's avatar

We’ve both made some large purchases without consulting the other… but we’ve been a bit too lax. We live within our means, but could benefit from saving more. We’re talking about ways we can be more disciplined in our purchasing.

Pooh54's avatar

My husband just told me this week-end after we went out shopping for a toaster and a good bread knife. On the way back to the car he said to me, “I feel much better.” When I asked why he said, “he feels better now that he spent some money.” Every time we go shopping, we buy something. Mostly impulse buying but when we are together, I have no control over him. He makes the money——I will not stop him ever from buying what he wants. He does ask me what I think but it is his final decision. Sometimes he will say, well, maybe we should think about it and buy it next week-end. After a week of thought, sometimes we buy it and sometimes we don’t.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

We have a $200 limit on a single item, we each agreed to that a few years back. We hit the limit about this time of year. I just bought her an internet radio for her home office.

Pooh54's avatar

I have XM in my house and absolutely love it. I hope she enjoys it.

janbb's avatar

When I was married, I would say usually around the $200 – $300 range although I would sometimes spend that on clothes without checking. It often depended on my own assessment of where we were at financially.

JLeslie's avatar

It has changed a little over time. It actually depends what it is. If it is clothes I almost never ask or bounce it off of him. I don’t buy clothes very often, and when I do I don’t feel like I need to discuss it. It can be soending $50 on clothes or $300, I don’t call him. Maybe if it was one very expensive clothingnitem like a $300 dress, then I would call, because I myself feel uncomfortable spending that much on a single clothng item. I would need him to encourage me that it is ok. Food would be the same, I just buy whatever groceries I want, and go out to eat with friends without thinking about discussing the price with my husband. Pretty much everything else I would say the usual threshold is $50. Sounds pretty low, but if it is something I don’t feel sure we really need I would ask him about it. He asks me too. Honestly, it could be a $5 item if I feel like I probably don’t need it. At the same time, I pulled his sister’s name for Xmas this year and I am going to spend more than I know he would want me to, and I am not really asking, I am going to buy what I want. I plan on spending $75—$100. He would probably prefer I spend around $50.

No matter what it is a fairly low threshold.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

@Pooh54
We have SiriusXM but the wonderful thing with this one is it will receive Pandora, iHeartRadio, Live365, NPR, NOAA weather and Weatherbug.

KNOWITALL's avatar

We talk all purchases through period, minus gas and other bills/ necessaries.

As far as major gifts, he’d have to save on the sly, and I’d have to take it out of savings.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

The hubby has better judgement than I do when it comes to buying things.
Oops…......think we just lost the feminist crowd.

SavoirFaire's avatar

I rarely buy things for myself, and never on impulse. As such, I always end up mentioning the purchase beforehand. I don’t feel like I need to do this, but it’s how things typically go. I don’t think I’d buy anything over $100 without discussing it, though.

@Hypocrisy_Central “Oops…......think we just lost the feminist crowd.”

Why? Feminists would take exception to the claim that all men have better judgment than all women, not at the claim that one particular man might have better judgment than one particular woman.

glacial's avatar

@SavoirFaire “Why? Feminists would take exception to the claim that all men have better judgment than all women, not at the claim that one particular man might have better judgment than one particular woman.”

I see where you’re going with that, but she did lose me!

SavoirFaire's avatar

@glacial Fair enough. But I think we need three for it to be a crowd.

YARNLADY's avatar

I have better judgement than my husband on expensive things, and on some things, like a house and a car, he just plain doesn’t really care, so it’s my choice by default.

downtide's avatar

It varies depending on our financial situation. As things stand at the moment, it would be about £150—£200. There’s been times in our life when even £20 was too much. It’s not so much about getting permission, it’s more like a heads-up about how much money is going out of the bank account. So if one of us buys something extravagant the other isn’t wondering why there’s suddenly £200 less than there should be.

Seaofclouds's avatar

It varies depending on how we are financially, if our bills are paid for the month, and what it is. That being said, we don’t discuss surprises for each other, we both just make sure we aren’t going to cause any financial hardship with our surprises.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

It’s been fascinating to follow this question and read all of the answers. “Financial Matters” is often ranked as the #1 reason for divorce/break-up. Based upon the comments from friends and family members who made it through 20+ years of marriage, financial security is vitally important. Thus, communication and agreement ensues. What that looks like is different for every couple.

The key is to set goals and stick to them or revise as needed. If one person is in charge, they need to keep the other person in the loop, whether they want to be or not.

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