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AnonymousWoman's avatar

Possibly NSFW: How can I convince myself to be brave enough to go to the Doctor for bleeding in the deep south?

Asked by AnonymousWoman (6326 points ) 3 months ago

I have had on-and-off rectal bleeding for so long. I think I’ve had it as far back as when I was 12. Maybe even 11. Maybe even younger. But I’m so embarrassed to go to the Doctor about it or to tell any of my family members I have this problem. How can I convince myself to be brave enough to just go get checked out? And what can I do to maybe stop it in the meantime while I’m scared of going?

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25 Answers

Rarebear's avatar

Do you want me to tell you all the bad things it could be? Would that help?

AnonymousWoman's avatar

I’m not sure. Maybe. The more knowledge, the easier things are to deal with. I think. And the less scary the potential answers are from an actual Doctor, if that makes sense.

Seek's avatar

(@Rarebear is an actual doctor.)

Seriously, there is nothing, absolutely nothing, that you could say to your doctor that they haven’t heard before. There is nothing to be ashamed of. If you can see a doctor, you should.

glacial's avatar

Just do it. Are you afraid of talking about the “deep south” or are you afraid of having the contact, or are you afraid of what you might find out?

If (1) or (2), believe me, your doctor has seen it all and touched it all a gazillion times, and there’s a kind of comfort in getting lost in the crowd, so to speak.

If (3), whatever it is, the sooner you know, the better. Consider that you’ll likely find out that it isn’t whatever you’re afraid it might be. You’re not a doctor. Don’t assume the worst.

Be brave! You can do it!

AnonymousWoman's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr: I did wonder about that after I said that. But I meant an actual Doctor I’d potentially see in person. As for my family Doctor, I am nervous about seeing him. In my experience, he hasn’t really taken me seriously in the past. And I’m not comfortable with his receptionist, either. She is rude to me. It is not just me who noticed that, either. One of the last times I went there, I went with my sister and she was rude. After we came back, my sister told my Dad she was angry at the receptionist and how she talked to me because it was so disrespectful… so I know I wasn’t imagining it.

@glacial I’m not afraid of what I might find out. I’m just not good at talking about things that are really personal in person with strangers, or people I don’t know well, or am not comfortable telling personal things to. Thanks, though.

glacial's avatar

@AnonymousWoman Sounds like you might want to get a new doctor. You need to be able to tell your doctor what is up with your body. No one has any call to be rude to you – being a patient, especially when you’re experiencing pain or fear, makes you vulnerable enough without the extra trauma. They should know that. If they don’t, find someone else who you’re comfortable with.

Pandora's avatar

There are a ton of things that can cause bleeding in the anus. Provided that is what you are talking about. If you suffer from a lot of constipation, than it could be something as easy as hemorrhoids. If that is the case, you can google a diet for hemorrhoids. Probably just eating more fiber and drinking more liquids would help.

Don’t think of your doctor as a person but rather as a professional who hopefully has the knowledge to resolve your issue. It always helps me not to think of them in any way other than as someone I pay to access their knowledge.

It also always helps me to consider that my doctor has probably seen quite a few patient that day or will see and I will be long forgotten at the end of their day. I’ve run into so many doctors that have the same warmth as the people in DMV. I think if they could paste a number on your chest, that they would be happier.

AnonymousWoman's avatar

@glacial: My Doctor is okay, but he seems to treat patients more seriously when they are pregnant. I’ve seen reviews of him, and in my experience, it seems to be true. It makes sense why my parents chose him because they started a huge family. It’s just his receptionist that’s really rude. He himself is respectful and polite (and she is polite, too, if he is around….but can be quite rude when he is not). I don’t know if she’s still there…. I’m not comfortable with going there alone if she is.

@Pandora: It’s an on and off problem, and only really seems to happen after I go to the bathroom and have to take a dump… Not always, but a lot. And it generally stops soon after it starts. Generally, the blood is bright red. Which I’m told isn’t as bad as it could be. But it can really hurt and sting sometimes. I dunno. I probably don’t drink enough water…

Pandora's avatar

@AnonymousWoman , I’m not a doctor but I’ve never known water to hurt. Even if it is just hemmorrhoids, you should still see a doctor. Some are mild and some can be quite a problem and an infected one can really effect your health and cause havoc. You shouldn’t be bleeding a lot. Just because you don’t see the blood doesn’t mean you aren’t bleeding inside. Go see a doctor immediately. This is not an area of the body that one should ignore problems with.

Seek's avatar

Put it this way: Would you be ashamed to let a mechanic look at your car? Or to tell the HVAC guy that your air conditioner is broken?

Medicine is a trade like any other. Their job is to fix your body. They can’t do that if you don’t tell them what is wrong.

VS's avatar

I’ve had a similar issue before. Mine was a fissure, a small tear in the rectal wall that opens on straining. Due to the fact that my mother died of colon cancer, I wasted absolutely no time in getting my ass to the proctologist (pun intended). Please, get this checked out ASAP. You may do more damage waiting and worrying. Put your modesty on the shelf and know that you are going to be just fine. Again, get to a doctor immediately.

Judi's avatar

My daughters mother in law was over weight and refused to go to the doctor for a similar problem because she was afraid of being lectured about her weight. By the time she finally went the pain was unbearable and she had stage 4 colon cancer. her grandchildren miss her very much. Some never even got to meet her. She was a wonderful lady and the world is a sadder place because she was afraid to talk to her doctor.

CWOTUS's avatar

You can research a lot of your symptoms and the proper terminology to use when discussing things with your doctor on WebMD.com. I’ve often found that site to be a very good reference to understand the problems that others bring up from time to time, both “in conversation” and here on Fluther.

Sometimes just having better terms for description and anatomy can help take some of the embarrassment out of the discussion, I think.

EDIT: I see that @Rarebear beat me to it.

gorillapaws's avatar

This is crazy. Bleeding from the anus can be caused by many serious, life-threatening things. Get checked out ASAP (find a different MD you trust if you don’t feel comfortable talking about your body with your current MD). It’s probably not something serious, but for fucks sake, you don’t want to die because you were too embarrassed to talk about your anus.

As the son of a surgeon, I can assure you that they have seen and heard it all. There is no stigma attatched to “private parts.” It’s all just anatomy and symptoms—very clinical/professional. Your MD won’t be “grossed out,” they’ll be concerned about the many potential causes and want to determine the source of the bleeding right away.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@AnonymousWoman Hey, there is no possible problem that gets better with time. If there is a problem, the sooner you deal with it the better. Yes, it’s nice to stick our heads in the sand. But it’s the worst of all possible decisions. You and your doctor should be very comfortable with each other. If you aren’t get a new doctor.

Pachy's avatar

May simply be a rectal tear, which is both common and extremely treatable. May be something more serious (I hope not) but still treatable. In any case, better to know what it is for sure than continue to worry about it. Believe me, I know how you’re feeling and truly sympathize.

creative1's avatar

If you are not comfortable with your doctor or they are not taking you seriously then you need to fire your doctor and start interviewing new candidates. I have fired doctors before for not listening to me and do not hesitate to ask for a second opinion if I feel like someone is blowing smoke up my butt. So if you are having the bleeding issue down there, there is so many things it could be and some are not good if not caught sooner than later so get it checked and if it means a trip to a new doctor then I would do it.

I really do interview doctors when changing a doctor, I even interviewed our peditrician before choosing one. I find you need a good rappore with your doctor because your life is litterally in their hands so being able to talk to them about even the most uncomfortable topics is a must have.

livelaughlove21's avatar

If it’s been happening since you were 11 and you’re an adult now with no other new or worsening symptoms, I don’t think anything life-threatening is likely to be the issue. I occasionally find bright red spots of blood on my toilet paper after I wipe, but I know it’s anal fissures. If it’s more than a few drops of fresh blood every now and then, you should suck it up and see a doctor. In the past year, my husband has had an impromptu prostate exam (he’s only 24) an had another doctor examine his anus for signs of yeast. Yeah, he was embarrassed, but the doctor has undoubtedly seen much worse.

jca's avatar

I used to have hemorrhoids when I was heavier. It made it really hard to go to the bathroom, and I had to push so hard, like I was having a baby. I went to a gastrointestinal doctor. I can assure you he takes a look but he barely touches your butt. He scheduled me for a colonoscopy to make sure that it was nothing more serious. The colonoscopy was not bad at all. The prep was the hard part – drinking this nasty stuff and not eating the day before. The colonoscopy itself, I describe it as you go to sleep, you wake up, it’s done. That’s really it. That was to rule out that it wasn’t anything more, and it wasn’t, and after I lost a lot of weight due to weight loss surgery, the hemorrhoids went away.

What he gave me for the hemorrhoids was a medicated suppository.

Simple exam, simple solution.

Don’t go to your regular doctor, especially if the receptionist is a bitch. Go to a gastrointestinal doctor, also known as a “GI doctor.”

LornaLove's avatar

It is difficult to go to a doctor to show him your bottom. Can you find a female doctor? Like other people mentioned it might be time to start looking for a new doctor attached to a surgery that makes you feel at ease. It is difficult here in the UK as you are pretty much stuck in areas.

Doctors see all sorts of things everyday, they really are not freaked out about this stuff. Would you feel more comfortable taking someone close to you? You could try that too. Or even have a stiff drink beforehand. (Gosh, that could be bad advice not sure?).

I have had rectal bleeding for years. That is one thing I don’t worry about, which is odd, as I worry about everything.

Smitha's avatar

You must go and see the doctor, it is better to be embarrassed for sometime than to have what may be a serious medical condition. I know it is hard to discuss these things with someone else, but believe me they have seen it all before, and worse.
You will have to decide, a few minutes of shame at the doctors clinic or years of detrimental worrying regarding the problem you have.

Buttonstc's avatar

Do you really want your family and friends to read in your obituary that “she literally died from embarrassment”?

What does being in the Deep South have to do with the professionalism of doctors?

I know what it has to do with you and your imagination and embarrassment but grow up and get over it already. You are an adult. Its time to start acting like one.

If you’re uncomfortable with your current doc or his office staff, then find another one. Someone else suggested a female doc. If that lessens your discomfort, then by all mesns, find one.

This is no longer the Antebellum South. Its 2014, for crying out loud. Its time to chuck your outmoded imaginings and take care of your health.

livelaughlove21's avatar

@Buttonstc “Deep South” refers to the OP’s rectum, not a geographical location.

juanitafi's avatar

This is very serious! One of my friends’ mom had it, so turned out she had colon endometriosis and the recovery process was really difficult one. You should go asap, this is good for you! Only you can do it, nobody else!

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