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JK9497's avatar

Simple, yet complicated issue on understanding a woman?

Asked by JK9497 (65 points ) January 15th, 2014

Well my issue is, I just want to know how to understand a girl better. All I really need is things to look out for, things a girl does NOT like on any extent. Things she does like, basically things that can help me understand her and not persuade or manipulate her, but more make her say “wow, this guy understands me, and knows how I feel”, or something similar. I just need girls to respond to this, girls of all sorts, or men that might know about this. I just want to improve myself for my girlfriend.

Once again, all it is, just main things a girl does NOT like, things she likes, things she appreciates, etc. .

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25 Answers

Seek's avatar

She appreciates being treated like an individual with her own wants and needs, and not like a combination lock.

shrubbery's avatar

Ask her questions, and remember her answers so that you do not have to ask again. Communicate with her. Not all girls like or dislike the same things.

glacial's avatar

“just main things a girl does NOT like, things she likes, things she appreciates, etc”

No. It does not work like this. A woman is not a separate species from you. A woman is a separate individual from you. We can’t give you secrets about what “women” want. Each woman is different, just as each man is different.

We do not know your girlfriend – so how could we possibly guess what she wants?

You (hopefully) already know your girlfriend. If you don’t know her as well as you’d like, try asking her. She will be happy that you are showing an interest. She would not be happy that you expect her to respond to “tips and tricks about what women want”. That would imply that you do not see her as a person.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

Women are like volatile organic snowflakes. Find one who makes you feel as so: CH3CH2OH

CWOTUS's avatar

She would probably not appreciate that you asked this question and took notes on the responses.

She would certainly not appreciate your referring to a list of “things that girls like” to see if a proposed statement, action, gift or thought on your part was “on the list” or not.

There is no list, okay? There is no list. If you remember that, you have a chance of doing okay. And in general “okay” is probably as good as you can ever expect in terms of understanding a woman’s psyche and feelings. I don’t say that in a mean or snarky way. Very often – but not always, because they’re not all the same – women think about some things (maybe many things, maybe most things, maybe everything) on a different plane than you do. And that’s okay, because obviously, when that happens you’re on a different plane, too – it’s not a good thing / bad thing, it’s just a thing to be aware of – and the planes don’t frequently intersect.

But that doesn’t apply to all women. None of it does.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Well, I’m impressed. Almost an hour into your question and no one has said your nuts should be on the chopping block and she should be holding the cleaver. The collective is a little docile lately. You want to understand your girl? Get a couple of breath mints, and put your two heads inches apart, looking into each other’s eyes and with utter and complete honesty communicate on every question that comes to mind. If you can look directly into her eyes, and she yours and talk completely and honestly about anything you’ll be a hell of a lot farther ahead than this question will get you.

livelaughlove21's avatar

Every woman is different. We don’t all like and want the same things. You know your girlfriend better than we do – if you don’t know what she likes, open your mouth and ask her.

janbb's avatar

Ask her.

yankeetooter's avatar

This person has now “disappeared” from Fluther…anyone else notice?

johnpowell's avatar

All I can really type is that talk about her more than you talk about yourself.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I guess I shouldn’t have put his nuts on the chopping block. Sorry JK9497

DWW25921's avatar

I don’t understand what’s going on. Where did the asker person go, ‘eh?

LornaLove's avatar

I am generalizing of course. As a woman I like to be heard. I like to be seen as a person first, with dreams, valued opinions and as a whole. If you want to understand a girl, talking is the best way as well as watching non verbal cues, like body language, how she responds to situations, people and events. It takes a bit of time. That is why friendship first is often best and why so many best friends do fall in love.

josie's avatar

I think you’re making it too complicated. But I am sure I will be in the minority.

Smitha's avatar

You seem like a good boyfriend, don’t change just be yourself and show her how much you love her in your own way. Love her for who she is and respect her space.

JimTurner's avatar

Oh my friend you will never be able to understand a woman. They are the most sophisticated creatures on the earth. The best thing you can do is find one who loves you and love her back.

Understand? That won’t happen.

Pandora's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr LMAO,
It seems they have left the building, or ok, fluther.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

Women are all different. Case in point, my sister likes (almost demands) that her husband tell her constantly how much he loves her and how beautiful she is. If my husband did that, I would smack him and tell him to get a life. Ha-ha! But then, she is insecure – I’m not.

livelaughlove21's avatar

@Skaggfacemutt Ew, I’d hate if my husband constantly did that. I’m happy with his occasional “you look pretty today” or “nice ass” (it is pretty nice, what can I say?). If he was constantly complimenting me, I’d want to know what the hell he wanted or what the hell he did wrong.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

@livelaughlove21 Yes, me too. It seems so insincere. My husband would say “I love you” after I served him a nice meal, or brought him a beer. Mostly he would insult me and then laugh, but then I like a tease. We were on the same wave length.

livelaughlove21's avatar

@Skaggfacemutt Yeah, my husband and I play fight a lot. We call each other names and say mean things – even in public, where people probably don’t know we’re not being serious. Things like, “Would you please shut up? Your voice is going through my head like a knife. Are you trying to sound stupid or does it just come naturally?” And then, when one of us gets too mean, we’ll say something like, “okay, that’s enough, you douche,” and laugh about it. It’s fun!

And sometimes he’ll get into these moods where he has some mean quip after everything I say or do. He was in one of these moods a few months ago and, while at the movies, I accidentally put too much salt on the popcorn. I asked him if it was too much and he popped one in his mouth and said, without missing a beat, “No. Just enough to kill a person.” What a jerk. :)

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

Well, I got my user name from my husband, who would call me a skagg face mutt. I would also call him that. And now my 19 year old granddaughter still uses that phrase. When she doesn’t want to go out because she hasn’t done her hair or makeup, or has on sweats, she will say, “no, I look like a skaggfacemutt!” Ha-ha.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Women are simple yet complicated, I think you already have it.

antimatter's avatar

There is simply no model on how to explain a woman or a person, we are all unique!

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