Social Question

prolificus's avatar

What's one thing you would like to change about your thought life?

Asked by prolificus (6492 points ) 3 months ago

Is there a pattern of thinking you’d like to change? If so, what is it and how would you like to change it?

For me, I’d like to change the pattern of thought in which I get stuck and zone out in a memory. I’d like to be able to have the memory, ponder it, and let it pass by into other thoughts.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

27 Answers

Coloma's avatar

Second guessing my employers motives.
I never do this with anyone else, ever, but it is because she is very passive aggressive and I am always trying to figure out her motives, behavioral ques, body language and stay one step ahead of her games.
I have gotten quite good at observing her tactics and sometimes have to stifle laughing out loud becasue they are so obvious. I swear, I guess it was time to have to deal with a crazy maker again after a wonderful and lengthy run of none.
haha

janbb's avatar

Ruminating about things that have happened or fantasizing about things that cannot be.

dxs's avatar

I think about some things way too much. I dwell and dwell on things that I shouldn’t worry about. I constantly ponder memories like you. Only then is when I find the perfect things to say. Then I sit there and wish I could turn back time.
I think I’m also a total space shot. But does being aware of it mean I’m not a total space shot? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…................

linguaphile's avatar

Oh boy. There is an evil troll in my mind that tells me how crappy, worthless, repulsive and a failure I am. Sometimes he gets quite loud to the point that he’s the only one I can hear. Other times, he stays quiet in a corner glaring at me. I’d love to eradicate him, once and for all.

In other words, some days my self-talk can get quite destructive. It’s a work in progress to silence that ‘troll.’

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

I zone out and daydream all the time. Usually multiple tangents in my head get me sidetracked too easily.

ibstubro's avatar

Randomly invent scenarios, and then obsess about them. Like today, my S/O didn’t call all day, so I started worrying that I might have caused some slight. At one time I would have had myself in a ‘state’. Um, no. Just busy! I’m getting better.

janbb's avatar

@ibstubro I do that…all the time!

GloPro's avatar

I would like for my ex boyfriend to stop crossing my mind at least once a day. It’s been a year, brain… Let it go.

ibstubro's avatar

Me too, @janbb. It’s like the flip side of empathy to me. The price you pay for understanding the needs/wants/opinions of others.

I love that I ‘go and do’ for so many people; I hate the over-thinking that it entails.

One thing I do right in this category? I have no regrets. I know why I made the decisions I made, so why pretend otherwise?

wildpotato's avatar

Having random things make me really, really sad because they remind me of friends and family who have passed away. Especially when hearing certain songs on the radio in the car or at a restaurant or waiting room – times when it’s really bad to suddenly be unable to stop crying. In particular, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to listen to Fire and Rain again. Even now, typing that, I am distracting myself from thinking about the lyrics too much.

hug_of_war's avatar

I disappear into a place in my brain where I have a life like mine but without all my failures. I think I spend too mch time there, disengaged from the world.

Bill1939's avatar

I would like my mind to stop recalling past mistakes and failures. Sometimes I emotionally punish myself for foolishness common for children that I did as a child.

SABOTEUR's avatar

Not answering the question…addressing the questioner’s explanation of the question.

“Questioning”, “wanting to”, “wishing for” or “I’d like to” gives rise to MORE thought. You’re practicing the thought pattern you seek to avoid by focusing attention to it.

Try “simply observing” the thought pattern.

Don’t analyze it.

Don’t label it.

Just WATCH it.

Allow it to be what it is. It’s not your’s anyway. Stop claiming something that doesn’t belong to you. Treat each thought as if it were a tree you were passing on your travels to and from work.

See if that doesn’t help you move closer to the state you desire.

Finally…be gentle with yourself. You’re not going to change habits developed throughout your lifetime overnight. You’re gonna forget. You’re gonna zone out. As soon as you recognize what you’re doing, gently return to Simply Observing.

There’s no rush.

You’ve got the rest of your life to practice.

stanleybmanly's avatar

The big annoyance for me is the frequency with which the women in my past come stumbling into my thoughts. They’re all in the distant past, but that doesn’t prevent them from popping into my thoughts and even my dreams. The really galling aspect of these intrusions is that they are not necessarily passionate or erotic, but more like reflections on how much more sensible and level headed they all were compared to my younger self. It’s irritating

Seaofclouds's avatar

I’d like my thoughts to travel more often to the good things I already have rather then the things I am hoping to accomplish in the future. I feel like there are times when I’m so focused on things to come (be it going back to school, the kids getting older, or anything else) that I don’t fully enjoy that things that are right here in front of me. I am part of them, but I feel like I’m distracted sometimes by the future and I want to be more in the present.

Cruiser's avatar

I wish I could turn work off. The second I stir in the morning…work is like a 220 volt zap that then prohibits me from sleeping. I should have just been a mailman….sigh.

prolificus's avatar

@SABOTEUR – thank you. I’ve been attending therapy for over a year (and on and off for years). I’m learning about dialectical behavioral therapy. The techniques are very helpful!

hearkat's avatar

I would like to be more motivated to do stuff and not procrastinate. I comprehend the logical reasons why it would be beneficial to get off my ass, but I still can’t convince myself to do it.

Judi's avatar

Obsession with food. Going to food when I’m bored. I wish I had a better warning when I was full and was able to just stop when I’m full instead of continuing to eat just because something tastes good.

Haleth's avatar

Most of my thoughts are pretty cool. Actually, I wish life didn’t intrude on them, because what I’m daydreaming about is usually better.

GloPro's avatar

@Judi FOOOOOOD! Yum. Damn you for the reminder that I haven’t seen if anything new and exciting has materialized in the past 5 minutes. I’ll be right back…

JLeslie's avatar

Rumenating for me also. I just saw someone on TV who just wrote a book about women and one thing she said was women rumenate too much, and that men don’t waste so much time on it. It really struck a chord with me. I already knew I do it too much and now I wonder if and when I will finally stop doing it so much. If I had children this would be the thing I hope my kids don’t get from me. My husband doesn’t do it much at all, he just moves forward. I have a few girlfriends who also just move forward and they are my most successful friends. When I say success, I mean they persist in following their dreams and tackle obstacles well.

ucme's avatar

Nowt

Cruiser's avatar

@JLeslie Here is a book I highly recommend you read.

BeenThereSaidThat's avatar

Rehashing mean things others say about people over and over in my mind. I think if I spoke up instead of staying quiet not make waves I could let it go. Instead I think of what I would like to say. Sadly even thinking about what I would like to say I can feel my insides fluttering with anxiety and fear.

Leanne1986's avatar

I overanalyse and worry a lot. I wish I could take things as they come rather than worry about every possible outcome. I try to occupy my mind with other things when I get myself in a state but i’m not usually successful.

SABOTEUR's avatar

@prolificus You’re most welcome. Don’t know what the therapy you mentioned is, but if it’s working for you that’s a good thing.

Bear in mind that no therapy is effective if you don’t practice it and you don’t have patience with yourself.

I might suggest that you pick up a copy of Taming Your Gremlin: A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way by Rick Carson. You might find it useful as well as entertaining.

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther