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chelle21689's avatar

Do your feelings get hurt when you're not invited but your friends were?

Asked by chelle21689 (5258 points ) May 3rd, 2014 from iPhone

My boyfriend has his group of friends for many years and they all have their wives and girlfriends.

The girls and I talk and keep in touch but we aren’t as close as our men because they grew up from childhood. Sometimes we try to plan a girls night out. Everyone is cool and drama free.

Anyways, I saw a pic of the girls having dinner. Even a couple girls that aren’t around as much because of the kids… And I heard nothing about it.

I wonder why I wasn’t invited.

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11 Answers

cheebdragon's avatar

Yeah, that’s a little insulting….

If it makes you feel any better, I wasn’t invited to my dads wedding, I found out like 3–4 months later.

stanleybmanly's avatar

It isn’t worth worrying about. If the incident were one in an ongoing series of slights, you might have need for concern, but its a mistake to regard your lack of inclusion in so casual an event as a deliberate insult.

chelle21689's avatar

Yeah I’m usually invited so you’re right. But if it’s ongoing it’s different. Do hopefully it isn’t a regular thing

Judi's avatar

Some of my closest friends over the last twenty years have had children get married. My feelings are always a little hurt when I see pictures on Facebook of these beautiful weddings and see them all having fun and I wasn’t invited. I guess I wasn’t as good a friend as I thought I was. They were invited to my daughters wedding. Mine was the first among our friends to get married.

marinelife's avatar

That would be hurtful. You could try inviting one or two of them to do something.

ibstubro's avatar

If it bothers you a lot, ask your boyfriend and he can discretely find out.

It could be something innocent like is was shower/celebration for someone from the group that is no longer local. There might have been a get-to-gather where the inviting was done by someone who doesn’t know you.

If it happens again and you don’t want to ask your BF, ask whichever of the women from the group you’re closest to, “Hey, were was this taken?” I don’t know your age, but the group is only grow further apart, not closer together. Sounds like you were a little late to the party.

chelle21689's avatar

Nah, I knew all the girls there. Oh well…if it happens again I’d start questioning whether they are friends or not.

jca's avatar

I wouldn’t inquire. I would just tell myself that they obviously are better friends with each other than I am (in other words, I am not part of their group) and that’s ok. I would console myself by thinking that I am friends with them, and if I’m not in their “inner circle” then that’s ok. It is what it is.

weeveeship's avatar

1. See if this is a one time thing or something that recurs. If it is one time only, then let it go.
2. If it recurs, then ask why you are not invited. From your friends’ response (i.e. are they making excuses, are they argumentative, are they somewhat shaky), you can tell whether they just neglected to invite you or if they deliberately excluded you. If it is the former, tell them you would like to hang out with them. If it is the latter, then it is time to move on.

jca's avatar

I feel you can’t push yourself on them. If for some reason, they’re excluding you, you really have no right to demand they include you. Find other people to hang out with.

Leanne1986's avatar

I have been hurt by such things so understand what you’re feeling.

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