Social Question

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Have you ever been disturbed or insulted by who your SO finds attractive?

Asked by hungryhungryhortence (12118 points ) October 5th, 2009

You know what I mean, your SO may say or point out specific people they find attractive and you go to yourself, “eeeww!” if they like that then what are they with me for (assuming you think yourself more appealing)

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43 Answers

Sarcasm's avatar

I had a girlfriend who had a crush on James T. Kirk.
Disturbed, I was.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@Sarcasm At least it wasn’t Spock!!!

Syger's avatar

I don’t go ‘eeew’ but it does kind of hurt a bit.

augustlan's avatar

Yep. Especially if it’s a Pam Anderson-type, fake to the gills, woman. Ewww, indeed.

JLeslie's avatar

@Sarcasm I love William Shatner.

My husband tends to be attracted to my type, meaning similar hair and facial features, so I like that. He also really likes very slutty clothes, I hate that.

Jack79's avatar

Well, this happens all the time, people have different tastes, and especially when you’re in a heterosexual relationship, it’s obvious that you’ll be attracted to completely different genders to start with. And I guess that even in a homosexual relationship there would be quite enormous differences on who the two partners might find attractive.

The only time when this actually became an issue was with my ex wife, before we got married, when I mentioned how a singer friend of mine was much better in all respects from one of her colleagues who got more money and fame. And with “all respects” I also included looks, which made my (then still) fiance jealous, so I dropped it. A few weeks later she got back at me by insisting that this guy who used to be a cute little boy 20 years (and several pounds) ago should be on the cover of every international magazine. I mean sure, he was cute when we were back at school, but I don’t see how pink cheeks can make a grown man sexy.

@augustlan I don’t think anybody’s ever noticed Pam’s gills ;)

Axemusica's avatar

I’m not sure I understand the question, but my ex comes to mind and she used to tell me that I reminded her of John Cusack and specifically his role in High Fidelity. At first I was taken back, but then I watched the movie and I understood, lol.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Nope. I had one bf, though, who constantly compared me to Mariah Carey (this is when she was 19 or so) and found me wanting. That really hurt my feelings.

KatawaGrey's avatar

Well, I’ve never been disgusted by a boyfriend’s attraction but I did used to date a guy who thought Rene Zellwegger spelling was the hottest thing around. I was just extremely confused. I mean, I recognize that she’s cute, but I would never classify her as hot.

@aprilsimnel: I used to be with a guy who would compare me to his ex-girlfriend. I always came out on top (she never liked incense or played magic or did a number of other things) but it still hurt that while he and I were together he was still just thinking about her.

Meanwhile, I once asked my boyfriend to dress up like a Vulcan for me and he was very weirded out…

Facade's avatar

He’s pretty lenient with calling women “pretty” when they’re plain-looking, but I wouldn’t say it disturbs me.

Jude's avatar

She’s still crushing on Stevie Nicks (leg warmers and all).

poofandmook's avatar

it went the opposite with me… “why the hell is he with me if that’s what he thinks is attractive” but because she was prettier than I am.

the answer I got is that looks are just icing on a rich, delicious cheesecake. I, of course, being the rich, delicious cheesecake, “with my own nice layer of icing.” While I later found it flattering, my first instinct was, “who puts icing on cheesecake?”

Bluefreedom's avatar

This hasn’t happened to my spouse and I as of yet but we do have an agreement on one thing though. If I ever get a chance to do the horizontal bop with Salma Hayek, she is okay with it as long as she can ride the hobby horse with Viggo Mortenson.

casheroo's avatar

With certain celebrities I’m just like “really??” because I just don’t see it at all. When we’re out, it’s rare that he thinks someone is actually attractive..I’ll even point out people I find attractive and he usually doesn’t think they are. We have different tastes in women haha

Blondesjon's avatar

She has a thing for balding redheads that I find disquieting. . .

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

he has a celebrity crush on cat von d – not my type, though I like the tattoos

Facade's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Have you seen her new hair color? I had to avert my eyes

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Facade oh. yeah, I don’t like it

Supacase's avatar

I had a boyfriend who thought Greta Van Susteren was hot. I didn’t get it at all, but I wasn’t insulted.

Darwin's avatar

Insulted? Not at all. Everyone is allowed to enjoy works of art, and everyone is allowed to have their own opinion about what art is.

In any case, I look so much like my husband’s deceased first wife that his mother kept calling me by her name. It is obvious to me that I am his type.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

Yeah, my answer is exactly the same as @augustIan. Some things just gross me out.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

MY wife loves Elvis Presley, and I think he is very unnattractive. That pelvis thing he does makes it look like he suffers from Parkinson’s Disease. Yeah, I know he’s dead, but that is the only one we disagree on.

CMaz's avatar

Don’t ask, don’t tell.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

@jbfletcherfan: now now- I had a serious Spock crush as a kid

filmfann's avatar

My wife LOVES William Shatner, Lee Majors, and that kind of greasy macho-man.
I am shocked that she puts me in that same category.

Zaku's avatar

Yes, I had problems with her being attracted to money and “generous” men, or men with qualities I didn’t identify with. Or just with being willing to be with people she wasn’t even that attracted to. Part of my learned/invented model of the relationship I want is that she has a particular attraction to my qualities, so anything out of line with that disturbs my childish worry about being left.

Response moderated
Pretty_Lilly's avatar

@casheroo I had a friend who’s boyfriend developed a crush on a person who used to be a man but it now a woman (it wasn’t even a good procedure it was done in Asia .

casheroo's avatar

“it”?
We’re done.

MacBean's avatar

@Pretty_Lilly: Well, hello there, ignorant and offensive bigot. How are you today?

Response moderated
Sarcasm's avatar

0/10, bad troll is bad.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Pretty_Lilly awww, up again, eh? isn’t church time today or something? better hurry up.

KatawaGrey's avatar

Gonna try my hand at devil’s advocate.

Perhaps @Pretty_Lilly meant ‘and “is” now a woman”? I don’t know what the modded comments were so maybe those would clear things up for me…

I sometimes write “it” when I mean “is.”

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@KatawaGrey given @Pretty_Lilly s responses on other threads where, again, people who were not male or female were called ‘it’, I’m thinking this is hardly a mistake

filmfann's avatar

I am having a lot of trouble getting my head around @Pretty_Lilly ‘s comment.
Most closed minded fools would say “he is still a he, even after surgery”, but somehow they feel this person has gone from “he” to “it”. That would tend to indicate @Pretty_Lilly hasn’t done a lot of thought on this.
I am guessing they haven’t done a lot of thought on anything.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

No.He has good taste ;))

MRSHINYSHOES's avatar

Never. That’s because if my s/o did see someone she found attractive, she wouldn’t tell me in the first place. She’s smarter than that. Also, this may sound corny, but it’s true——she’s a lady and doesn’t mention those kinds of things——she keeps those things to herself. Conversely, if I saw someone who caught my eye, I wouldn’t mention it to my wife. That wouldn’t be the gentlemanly thing to do. Call us old-fashioned, but that’s how my s/o and I are.

BeccaBoo's avatar

All the flipping time sighs and it does make me wonder why the hell he is with me?? I am not a plain Jane…...You know when I have entered a room! He likes the little wall flowers??? But I fancy the pants off him so I don’t care :-)

SecondHandStoke's avatar

No. She and I are grownups.

We understand that our tastes have no bearing on our feelings and commitment to each other.

Usually, when one mentions the attractiveness of another we find ourselves in agreement.

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