Social Question

keobooks's avatar

Can you quickly befriend a total stranger?

Asked by keobooks (12649 points ) May 12th, 2014

I am at the gym right now, and being a nosy person, I watch little scenes out of the corner of my eye. I just watched two total strangers make initial contact and befriend each other, swapping texts to each other and offering to babysit each other’s kids. Can you do this? I m lousy at making friends .. Tell me how this works!

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

14 Answers

Cruiser's avatar

I can do it quite easily I guess. It is done easily by simply asking questions and finding out if you have anything in common.

I start with hobbies, then work, then politics and then recreation activities, then art, cooking, photography and gardening, perhaps talk about our S/O’s and kids if they have them. Cover a few of those and you can quickly and easily find out if a person is friend material.

People tend to like to talk about themselves so asking them questions about likes and dislikes are great ways to start to get to know someone.

The problem I have is I don’t have a lot a free time for any more friends…so I guess I can turn off that component of how and when I communicate with people.

cookieman's avatar

Nope. I can be friendly and conversational at the drop of a hat, but for a limited amount of time. Also, I feel it’s a skill. Like self-marketing or something I do for work. I’m generally not really interested in other people up close and personal. I prefer to observe.

Blackberry's avatar

If they’ll let me, yes.

zenvelo's avatar

I can, to an extent. Offering mutual babysitting is a bit further than I would go with a new acquaintance. But certainly a small favor for someone I just met would not be at all unusual.

Dutchess_III's avatar

There have been a handful of people I’ve connected with almost instantly, mainly because they quickly show that they have the same sense of humor that I have. It’s like an instinctive thing.

dappled_leaves's avatar

I befriend people easily, and there’s a certain level of “benefit of doubt,” but it would take some time to get to know that person well enough to trust them to take care of kids, pets, home or anything else so important. That’s a bit weird.

LuckyGuy's avatar

I few years ago I met a couple of guys on a prostate cancer support website. We hit it off immediately. After about two months of online humor I invited them to come over and stay at my place. (They live in different states and had to drive many hours to get here.)
When they pulled into the driveway it was like we had known each other all our lives! Since then we get together twice a year and stay at each others houses. It is wonderful!

janbb's avatar

I made a friend in 5 minutes on the train. We didn’t swap contact info but we did swap life stories. It’s something about being open, friendly and aware of other people. I wasn’t always this easy in it; it has developed in me in the last several years of greater confidence in my likeability.

Blondesjon's avatar

Yes. I married her 22 years ago.

CWOTUS's avatar

I have done it frequently, though less so these days. When I used to travel for construction – and especially before I was married – I would strike up friendships in line at the grocery store, the DMV, on jobsites, in restaurants… and at bars. (The bar was never my first choice.)

Since then, I’ve done it while sailing – frequently! – and these days when I do make such friendships it’s generally through Meetup

longgone's avatar

May I run and hide instead?

ibstubro's avatar

I don’t do it a lot, but I can ‘connect’ with people in an instant.

I chat strangers up a lot. Eye contact is a prime indicator. If you have compatible body language, it’s likely eye contact will follow, and then someone just needs to break the ice. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Even on social sites like Fluther I’ll pick newbies and welcome them to the site/chat them up.

Despite my rhetoric, I like people.

I don’t remember how we started chatting, @keobooks, but I genuinely like you. I could see you, your daughter, and me laying in the grass on a hillside, finding shapes in the clouds. Low key, but absorbed.

Mimishu1995's avatar

Depends of the strangers.

And depends on whether they’re that eager to talk.

I first pick up the “suitable” person. Often the person I pick up are one who I think will talk back to me, but sometimes I pick random people too. Then I just talk about the basic information (name, age, job…), sometimes add my jokes to the conversation, and that’s it. Mostly the person will befriend with me, but there are fail attempts sometimes too.

Befriend, that’s usually what I do in a new place. It’s just like… something to do.

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther