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Jonesn4burgers's avatar

For fun; how will I know when I've arrived?

Asked by Jonesn4burgers (6577 points ) 2 weeks ago

As children we have a concept in mind of how things would be when we’ve finally “Made it”. As we grow, sometimes the details change, sometimes not.
In the Bruce Willis movie, The Kid, his child version of himself expected to have his life complete when he has a plane, and a wonderful dog named Chester.
When I was little, I thought I would grow up to marry Dale, and have a terrific farm with a great fishin’ pond.
As I got older, my expectations evolved. Finally I settled on, “I will have arrived when I can afford to give out full sized candy bars for Halloween.”
Where did you set the bar for yourself, and have you arrived?

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25 Answers

dina_didi's avatar

I was wondering about it yesterday! From when I was a kid, I always believed that I’d be happy when I had a happy family with a great husband, kids and grandchildren. I have not done this yet but I am young to have grandchildren…

hominid's avatar

I spent nearly 40 years waiting – waiting for life to really start, waiting to be happy, waiting to find my way – only to discover that life had already begun and there was nothing to wait for. I’m not waiting for the future any longer – the future never comes. Whatever it means to “arrive” can, and can only be found right here, now.

zenvelo's avatar

You’ll know you’ve arrived when there is a parking spot just waiting for you. It’s called a grave.

A friend came up to me a couple years ago and said, “I always thought that by the time I was fifty I’d be pretty much on auto-pilot, and nothing too difficult left to deal with. But it doesn’t stop, it just gets different.”

stanleybmanly's avatar

I thought if the time came when I needn’t worry or concern myself about money, I would certainly have “arrived”. I’ve since come to appreciate that the only circumstance that would allow such a state involves my being dead. I now realize that if you can live a life where the big complaint is merely that there’s never enough money, you are fortunate indeed!

ZEPHYRA's avatar

When all is finally said and done!

Unbroken's avatar

I will never make it. But… In many ways I’ve exceeded my personal growth projections. I still have room to grow. That’s OK, I’m a lifelong project.

As long as I’m moving I can be at peace with the here and now.

janbb's avatar

I will have arrived when I’m not on a emotional roller coaster every day. But maybe that will just be…boring?

Pachy's avatar

@ARE_you_kidding_me speaks the truth that @hominid speaks the truth. “Arriving”—I prefer to call it “Growing up”—is something I have to do every day of my life.

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

One great answer after another here. I’m curious to hear from the youngsters. We have some clever, motivated young people in the Fluther. I’m itching to see what they have to say.

Dan_Lyons's avatar

Oh oh, I know this. You’ll know you’ve arrived when you get there.

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

You know, that might be THE most inightful answer yet, simple as it sounds.

Mimishu1995's avatar

One day, in the far future, I may settle down.

That day hasn’t come yet.

ibstubro's avatar

I agree with @Dan_Lyons. It’s when your inner child says, for the 10 millionth time, “Are we there yet??” and your inner adult finally replies, ”Yes, honey. We are there.”

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

@ibstubro, oh yes, I like that take on it. double lurve to you.
Did you ever have, as a kid, a standard by which you felt would prove you’d reached your goal point?
When I was a teen, I felt that if I ever exceeded my basic goals, I would have a pair of black jags trained to a leash, like that dark haired woman on the perfume commercial.
I had a watered down version but not the real deal.

ibstubro's avatar

I remember edicts, but not standards. “By god, when _I get air conditioning, you’ll know it when you walk into the house!“_
Done.

Adagio's avatar

I know it sounds cliche but to my mind life is a journey, you never arrive, life takes unexpected roads, it’s almost a given, if there was a pre-determined endpoint then what would you do once you arrived there?

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

Get your own show where you hire and fire celebrities.

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

I’m not asking for the definition of success. I’m curious what markers each of us expected to see when we got “there”, or on the way.
Did you feel your life would have settled into its groove when you got a houseful of kids, a horse, a million dollars, a PHD, Boardwalk and Park Place?
In your heart, what defined for you the “it” of life?

Bill1939's avatar

Your beginning and your end have nothing to do with you. This perspective is held by others. Reality is an instant between moments. Reality is constantly in flux. You are the reality in a continuous instant. There will be moments when aspects resolve and something will have concluded, a milestone passes, the momentary satisfaction from a sense of progress. However, consciousness is attracted by unexpected changes and life presents them in abundance. Many of them will provide moments when it will feel like having arrived.

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

Deep, and insiteful, but instead of evaluting the true meaning, or meaninglessness of life, I was hoping to hear what placemarkers people had set for themselves before having discovered that the true meaning of life is how much meaning we contrubute to the lives of others.
Did anyone look at their future and say, “Man, when I have my own candy factory, I will be the envy of all, and my life will be perfect!”?
Everyone is being Bruce Willis here, and sharing what hard facts they have learned after reaching whatever point they are in in life.
What did the future mean to you back when you were still a wide eyed dreamer?
What did you feel sure, when you were younger, would define you as a success?

stanleybmanly's avatar

When I was a “wide eyed dreamer”, I didn’t give a sh&t about success. I was a kid, and my big fantasy involved my school. I thought it would be wonderful if I could somehow buy the building, have the desks ,nuns and other useless junk hauled away, then fill the entire structure with the greatest O gauge model railroad in the world!

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Cool plan. My cousin did buy a school. A TINY town in the county where I grew up, the school was old and just needed too many repairs. They decided to sell it and bus the few kids living there to the next town for school. Last I heard, he was using it for storage. I thought he should seal off the main building area from the gymnasium, and set up a recreation facility in the gym.
Dunno if he ever did.

ibstubro's avatar

They sold the local, 1 level, 70’s era grade school at auction and the winning bid was $500, with taxes based on purchase price. They got 2 bids, one for $500 and one for $1,000, but it was the same woman. She turned it into a community center, now there is a restaurant, the ladies gather there for card parties and there’s a room reserved for music lessons. Next planned is a day care center. Not quite trains, but pretty cool.

ibstubro's avatar

When I was a kid I wanted to be a scientist, working with cool plants and animals. Then I discovered the math involved.

I was always best in English, so then I turned my sights to being an award winning journalist, perhaps turned author. Then I discovered a BA requires foreign language.

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