Social Question

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Is it my fault my dog always wants to sleep right next to me literally glued onto me?

Asked by ZEPHYRA (15131 points ) 2 months ago

I have tried picking her up and taking her out of the bedroom. She may stay away for a couple of minutes but then comes and hops on to my bed again. She also wants to be as close as possible.
I got her from a shelter about a year and a half ago. One night when she was still a pup, she looked scared and restless, so I let her lie in bed with me for about an hour. Since then I have been finding it hard to make her sleep elsewhere. Have I created this and is it irreversible?

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25 Answers

SecondHandStoke's avatar

No.

It is the result of canine social hierarchy and ancient dog/human cooperation.

It is reversible, but you should consider the ramifications from the animal’s point of view.

You are the supreme master from your dog’s point of view. Invitation to share your bed means you consider the dog your lieutenant.

Depending on the dog’s temperament he or she might engage in a battle to take over as leader. More likely the dog might take issue when you invite another into your bed.

This isn’t to say you’ll run into any problems but hopefully it will be easier for you to make a decision based on how your dog sees the situation.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

@SecondHandStoke so I have mde the dog pack leader through my lenient attitude?

SecondHandStoke's avatar

I’ve edited my answer while you responded.

It’s entirely possible for you to allow the dog on the bed and still be in charge.

This will either happen naturally or you will have to make the dog understand that it is welcome because you have decided so.

There’s a difference between the dog wanting to be near and it’s vying for your position.

This can be read by the animal’s behavior.

Does your dog have a space that is exclusively it’s own? A kennel or dog bed perhaps?

janbb's avatar

What happens if you close your bedroom door or gate him/her in the kitchen? Put the bed or the crate there. I always trained my dogs to stay in the kitchen overnight.

ucme's avatar

If the pooch is “literally” glued onto you, then one of you is a sick bastard ~

snowberry's avatar

Try getting your dog a Thunder shirt. It will help with any anxiety issue, and separating from you will induce it. Also, buy good quality lavender oil and put on cotton balls in dishes in the room where you confine the dog. Be sure the dog can’t get to it, but can still smell it. Do not buy those lavender scented plug-ins. That stuff is mostly chemicals.

Try watching some dog training videos on separation anxiety, and read some dog training books as well. A search on You Tube brings up a large number of videos on the subject.

ucme's avatar

If you are “glued” together, you must have a great bond…aye thang yoo!

ragingloli's avatar

It is fine. Just try not to get her pregnant.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

@ragingloli true, she hasn’t been fixed yet!

marinelife's avatar

You are talking to someone who has slept with her dogs always. I don’t mind the spreading out sideways and pushing me to the edge. I’ll trade it for having warm fur within reach and a warm bud in the winter.

If you really don’t like it, though, you could try crate training your dog, and putting her to bed in the crate at night.

SecondHandStoke's avatar

^^ Loli isn’t being altruistic.

He wants the first opportunity.

LornaLove's avatar

I agree with @SecondHandStoke I think your dog wants your position or at least assistant in charge. Perhaps at least make her lay on a particular spot, or if you want her off the bed teach her it’s not okay to be there. If you want her there, then no worries, it’s your choice. I’d personally love a cuddle companion. :)

SecondHandStoke's avatar

^ I believe this is a possibility.

I could do more by observing the dog’s behavior or a detailed description by @ZEPHYRA

The dog could be engaging in neurotic behavior, or simply wanting the company at a normal level.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

@SecondHandStoke I think it’s habit and company. She is also an extremely highly energetic little dog!

longgone's avatar

It is reversible, but don’t get caught up in all the “alpha-dog” stuff. If there are no other issues with this dog, just determine to what extent you are comfortable. Do you not want her in the bed at all? Then crate her. If you do want her in the bed, but at your feet, then the only solution is to patiently move her back there every time she crawls up. If you’re consistent, it shouldn’t take long.

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

Your “fault”? I’d say that it’s your privilege to have such a loving, affectionate animal companion.

Leanne1986's avatar

This has nothing to do with dominance (a very outdated theory when it comes to our domestic dogs) and everything to do with comfort and wanting to be close to you. As @longgone said, if you really don’t want the dog on the bed then try crate training. Make the crate a positive place to be and not somewhere she goes as a punishment for unwanted behaviour and gradually you will find she is comfortable and happy there. There’s no harm in giving her a stuffed kong (I use corned beef in my dog’s Kongs personally but squeezy cheese or certain sandwich pastes also work well) when she goes down for the night to help settle her as licking is very therapeutic for dogs.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

@Leanne1986, don’t get me wrong, I adore the angelic little soul, just that the bed is a bit small and she stretches/spreads out leaving me uncomfortable. I already have sleep issues, neck pain etc and the hours I sleep become uncomfortable. NOT a question of not loving her, question of lack of space at the moment. I agree with you, I don’t want to punish the sweet creature, just get her to give me a break now and again. I will go with your suggestions, I don’t want to hurt its feelings, I just want a normal night’s sleep once in a while!

Leanne1986's avatar

I completely understand and don’t think anyone who chooses not to share the bed with their dog doesn’t love them. If you are consistent then separate sleeping should become part of the norm and won’t affect your relationship. If your dog really struggles with separation anxiety I would recommend seeing a behaviourist who can suggest ways to help your dog settle during the times she can’t be with you.

SecondHandStoke's avatar

In every comment I stated that the dog’s viewing this as a territorial matter is merely a possibility.

It’s not likely but it could be the case.

As for @Leanne1986 stating that this cannot be an issue of dominance I beg to differ.

I’ve witnessed the phenomenon first hand, most significantly over years with the pet of a best friend.

I’m in agreement with the advice involving a crate. That is if you lock the door to your bedroom on occasions and spend the night hearing scratches and whining at your door.

It’s key that you make sure the dog views the crate as it’s exclusive sanctuary, not a punishment chamber.

Leanne1986's avatar

@SecondHandStoke Of course you are perfectly within your rights to disagree but I have studied dogs for years and it is how I make my living so I am not basing this knowledge on the odd dog here and there but the many I work with every day as well as all the recent science that I have to keep up to date with as part of my job. Many of the behaviours that we (myself included in the early years of my career) once thought were a sign of the dog trying to assert dominance actually have nothing to do with that and are most likely down to frustration, boredom, anxiety or lack of manners and boundaries (and it’s the lack of manners that is most commonly perceived as dominance). We are also starting to realise that the dominance theory and asserting our own status as “pack leader” can actually be detrimental to our dog’s behaviour (the alpha roll that Cesar Millan loves so much being an example) and our relationship with them. If you are interested in learning more about this then I recommend this article. I’m not looking to get into a massive heated discussion about this but I do think it is important that anyone who has a pet dog or is giving advice about training etc is aware of how the science is moving forward from the pack and dominance theory days for the sake of the dogs and humans who have to live with them involved.

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

@ZEPHYRA “the bed is a bit small and she stretches/spreads out leaving me uncomfortable…NOT a question of not loving her, question of lack of space at the moment”

You just put a smile on my face, because you could be describing my husband! All the discomfort aside, I won’t be kicking him out of bed anytime soon. Snores, stretches, and all, I’m glad he’s next to me.

SecondHandStoke's avatar

“Literally glued.”

What adhesive was used by your dog?

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

@ZEPHYRA How about a larger bed?

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