Do you send flowers when friends are in the hospital?

I don’t, I go see them.

I’m with @ARE_you_kidding_me. Seeing them face-to-face is a better idea to express care.

Let me add two reasons why I am not going to see him. One is that to me, if he’s feeling weak and crappy, he may not be up to receiving visitors other than his close family. Another reason is that for me, unless it’s a relative or close friend (which he’s not, he’s my friend’s hubby), I am not too big on going to hospitals where there are all kinds of diseases floating around, for example, C-Diff, which is an airborne disease which causes diarrhea and is rampant in hospitals and nursing homes.

Sure, he may not be up to seeing people, which is why you ask his wife before just showing up. However, I’m with you on not going to see people in the hospital unless they’re close friends or family. Not because I’m paranoid about catching some illness, though. If I was in the hospital, I wouldn’t want my husband’s friends coming to see me, even if I knew who they were. I wouldn’t care too much about flowers either, and generally find them to be a huge waste of money.

Honestly, if it were me, I’d be a supportive friend to his wife in the event she wanted to talk or actually asked me to come to the hospital, but I probably wouldn’t do much else. I definitely wouldn’t be spending $50 on flowers that the dude most likely won’t care about. Maybe I’m just a selfish bitch, though.

i have been in hospital a number of times, and frankly, I simply don’t care at all about flowers. I have been annoyed, in fact, by the necessity of dealing with them.

A short visit, a brief, cheerful conversation, would likely be more appreciated. Of course check with his wife for the best time, but a 5 – 10 minute visit would be what I would want.

Sorry, @jca, I just read your last post.
In that case, I agree with @livelaughlove21 do things to ease your friend’s burden.

Never. For several reasons:
They bring allergens into the room.
They block the window and the guy’s view of outside.
They are a hassle for the staff and his family.
They begin to wilt and die after a couple of days and look horrible.

I am not a complete scrooge (and because I strongly believe that if people criticize something they must suggest an alternative) so I’d like to suggest a gift box of Hickory Farms cheese, meats, and crackers. That would give the guy something to look forward to when he gets home.

Flowers & grapes, the go to cliche for hospital visitors, not me!

Thank you for asking this question. Sending flowers isn’t always the best idea for someone and their family while in the hospital. It is better to look at each scenario individually before deciding how to acknowledge one’s ill health. Here are some thoughts based upon personal experiences.

Flowers They brighten up a hospital room. Unfortunately, there often isn’t much space for an arrangement to be placed. They have become, IMO, the go-to for “I want you to know that I’m thinking of you; don’t know you well enough to send something more personal; want recognition for being sympathetic to your situation.”

When Dad was dying, a friend sent a small planter to the parents’ home. Mom later repotted the plants, and they live on after 22 years. We still thank the couple who sent them. It was more their style (nature) and is a living tribute Dad. Since they were sent to the house, they didn’t require moving them from the hospital.

Visiting It is understandable that people want to visit an acquaintance, friend or family member in the hospital. The intent is good. The effect is that the timing rarely works out. When Mom was in the hospital after surgery and going through physical therapy, there was an on-going flow of people showing up. Rarely was it when it was a good time. Unless a visitation is arranged around the patient’s schedule, it often created a bit of a chaos.

Other thoughtful gestures
* A card is always appreciated. If the person is religious, then send one that pertains to their religion, even if it isn’t what you believe.
* Mom loved fruit and not flower arrangements. A cousin sent her an Edible Arrangement which was a huge hit.
* The spouse is most likely spending a great deal of time at the hospital with her husband. Helping her out behind the scene is more often what people in this situation need. Some simple examples: cut their grass, provide a meal or take her out to dinner, run an errand. Find out what she needs and make it happen. It will be appreciated.

I agree with @livelaughlove21. Be a supportive friend. Your friend’s husband will appreciate that more than flowers.

Due to the husband’s chronic illness, he has had oral surgery and can no longer eat solid food. This is likely to be the case for the remainder of his life.

I have been supportive to his wife (my friend) and offered to do anything she may need, stopping by to feed the pets, whatever.

I know when I was in the hospital, I really didn’t want most people I knew to visit until I actually started feeling better. I didn’t want people coming when I might be needing “personal care assistance.” For people close to me, that wasn’t an issue. For people not that close, for example co-workers, I really didn’t want them seeing me in that state. Also, people I knew well let me know when they were coming. I didn’t want people just dropping in when I might be on the toilet or whatever.

Flowers die and exacerbate sensitivities. Plus they make the room look like a funeral parlor.

A nice 5×7 picture of something in nature might be a lot more relaxing and appreciated.

I like @Pied_Pfeffer idea of a card with a nice message. How about a book to help with those long hours in bed? something easy to read and dip in and out of perhaps?

No. Flowers are very short-lived, get smelly fast, and take up part of the small surface areas available in hospital rooms these days.

How about some easy-to-prep-and-eat-foods for the wife or a chit for some household chore? She is sitting the vigil and might appreciate a frozen lasagna or someone to clean out the refrigerator or run the vaccuum around.

When I was in hospital (and in rehab) a year ago, I found any visitors other than immediate family exhausting and intrusive, no matter how well meaning. At least I could tell my daughter and sister when I needed them to leave.

We in the UK are not allowed to take flowers into hospitals anymore. You could make him a 1 Minute Memory on a nice card…this is an awesome endeavour which is very touching and only take 1 minute, but is rather meaningful x Do check it out :)

Oops! You just wrote he cannot heat solid food and likely will never be able to again… Skip the Hickory Farms sampler.
Depending upon how well you know the guy and his personal style, you might make him up a baby food sampler. That is risky, and only appreciated by the right type of person. (I would enjoy it and find it funny.)

A card and doing something for the family is best in this case – even cutting the grass.

I just sent a card and pasted a photo of my daughter on the inside cover. I put a nice note how I hope he is feeling better and I am thinking of him often.

A friend of my daughter’s was in the hospital. I called her, said I was coming to see her and asked if there was anything she needed. She wanted broccoli soup from Panera bread. Done deal.

@jca C. diff rarely causes problems for healthy people. It mostly affects patients in hospitals and long-term care facilities. My mother had C. diff twice after her ruptured brain aneurysm. My husband was advised to not visit because he was taking antibiotics for diverticulitis, but everyone else in the family was able to visit my mother. We did have to wear gloves and protective covers for our clothing, but we weren’t required to wear a mask.

I do think a card for your friend was a good choice. His wife is lucky to have you in her life.

I wouldn’t send flowers. My husband wouldn’t get anything out of them at all. What about an audio book? Or something else to pass the time when his wife isn’t there? If he’s feeling ill he may not want to read but listening to a story might take his mind off things. I’d ask his wife. You want to send a token to show you’re thinking of him. What does he want, like, need?

I check to see if they can have flowers first and then send only for people that I know would like/appreciate them. Some hospitals do not allow live flowers and will ask someone to take them home or they will throw them away.

—I know it’s not what you asked but in this instance I would spend the money on my friend, take her out for a meal, or coffee, or whatever you know she would enjoy, if her husband is dying then she will need all the support she can get as she supports him. One assumes the sick man has plenty of its own friends and family to support him. Once when I was in hospital a friend came with her husband and young child, it was not at all appropriate, I felt so unwell, I had to ask them to leave, most people are not so forthright and when you are unwell it is harder still.

I would tell my friend to let him know I wonder how he is, and if he’s pulling through, no card, no flowers, just communication of sincere caring.

You notice when you receive a card and read it (whatever the occasion), you often try to decipher how sincere any given part of it is? Most say pretty textbook stuff, even the handwritten portion.

Someone who sends me a card or flowers has likely done their sympathetic duty. Someone who asks through the grapevine how I am doing, actually wants to hear from me and thinks about me at times besides when they hear that I am in the hospital.

At least that’s what comes to mind.