(Bathroom discussion; possibly NSFW) Why are guys expected to put the seat down and women not expected to put the seat up?
Asked by
Strauss (
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November 27th, 2016
While my son was visiting, I entered the bathroom and noticed he had left the commode seat up. He’s a single dad, and doesn’t have anyone around of the opposite gender to make this an issue. On the other hand, I have been with my wife for almost 30 years, and have been fully trained to leave the seat in the “down” position.
I noticed this in the past, also, that the women with whom I have shared habitat have generally insisted that the guys put the seat down after urination. In bachelor residences, this is not an issue, because the facilities are used much more often with the seat up than down.
I was trained told at one point that it is common courtesy to put the seat down after use. Why would it not be the same courtesy for those who sit to place the seat in the “up” position after use?
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29 Answers
I say always put both the seat and the lid down. There’s no joy in seeing the open mouth of a toilet.
I agree with @filmfann. Put both down before you flush. Splash back is an ugly thing.
I also say that men have the choice to pee standing up. You could just as easily sit down and do your business. Some men do (my husband for example). Women don’t have that choice: we have to sit. So if you make the choice to move the seat, you should be courteous and put it back to its default position.
Because a happy wife means a happy life. And a woman who has fallen in the loo in the dark because the seat was left up is not likely to be happy.
Same reason you should close the closet door after you hang your coat up, or close the cupboard door after you put away the dishes, or close the drawer after you put away your socks. It looks more squared away.
i can’t remember the source (xkcd? Freakonomics?) but the author determined the most efficient method is to leave the seat in the position of last usage. He optimized for minimized hinge wear and hand to seat contact events.
But as @Earthbound_misfit stated, “a happy wife means a happy life… and a woman who has fallen in is not happy.”
(Even though it is clearly her fault for not checking.)
Hinge wear be damned, Just put it down after use. .
I agree with @filmfann. Really, the fact that anyone makes a fuss over this still surprises me. In my house the seat and the lid are left down, it keeps the dogs from drinking out of the toilet, it keeps the cats from falling in, and during times of drought, I don’t flush every time I pee.
Fecal mist doesn’t concern me, we all survived it just fine before anybody knew about it.
The “toilet plume” thing is not why women want the seat down generally though. Most don’t put the lid down with the seat either so it’s moot. This is one of those “pick your battles” that guys are ok with losing. Really it would just be courteous to put the seat up if you are a guy and put it down if you are a female. If this needs a permanent fix I would suggest people start installing urinals in their bathroom. Besides ladies, how do you know there us not a spider lurking under the seat if you don’t lift it and check? We want you to be safe so we leave the seat up so you know it is ok to sit. It’s just us letting you know that we care.
I’m completely in favor of personal responsibility, and vehemently against political correctness when it comes to toilet seats.
The rule: the person who is about to sit and use the facility is responsible for him/herself – to see the status of the seat and change it, if need be.
Otherwise, you’re relying on the Blanche DuBois rule – “I have always relied on the kindness of strangers” ...and that doesn’t work all the time.
Men peeing: seat up
Men pooping: seat down
Women peeing: seat down
Women pooping: seat down
Just makes sense to leave it down since that’s what’s required to majority of the time, unless perhaps you’re in a house with lots of men and few women.
But, I am also in the “put the lid down” camp, and that’s what we do in my household. No complaints from Matt about that. We don’t want to see the inside of our toilet bowl all the time, and we certainly don’t want shit particles getting shot up into the air in the confined space of our bathroom when our toothbrushes sit uncovered just a few feet away.
I’m sure someone has thought of this but why not automate the process? Why not have the flush lever lower the seat and lid just before opening the flapper? Also needs two foot pedals to raise just the lid and one to raise both the seat the lid.
@Mariah That is preceisely why they did the analysis. They made assumptions about the pooping to peeing schedule and ratio then considered the user order:
Male followed by Female.
Male followed by Male.
Female followed by Female,
Female followed by Male.
If I recall it was the Male followed by Male that “wasted” a seat down and up maneuver if seat is always put down after use. Of course, this was true only if both were peeing.
The lid should be down so rats won’t come up. It hasn’t happened in this house… yet… but it has happened in the neighbourhood so I’m taking no chances.
Hard to put the lid down without the seat being down.
@BellaB which is better, having the rats waiting in the bowl ready to pop out when you open the lid? Or having the rats roaming free form?
I figure I’ll hear them splashing around if they’re ever actually in the bowl (and then come up with some grand master plan).
Leaving the toilet seat up forces the next woman who uses it to handle your toilet seat, which, let’s face it, is covered in pee aerosols. There’s no way a woman can leave them (because when the seat is down, the outer underside of the lid is on the outside), and no way a man can avoid it. I think it’s only fair to let the men touch their own urine.
And the thing @josie said about it just being tidier.
I have sat on too many lids in the dark to agree with @filmfann.
So how is it our own urine when we pee with the lid up? Men are more likely to contact a females urine since the seat is in close proximity to the backsplash right?
Another reason why I’m glad I live alone!
@janbb haha, touche!
Ye, I’m in the drop the seat and lid for everyone though it does make sense that each gender be considerate of the other. Thing is seat and lid down is more aesthetically appealing and hygienic across the board.
I don’t have to worry about falling in being single too but, I have a toilet drinking cat and that grosses me out so I always put the lid down.
Because when women pee, they can’t pee on the seat, where men may sit on and get some infection.
My cousin just redid her Manhattan apartment and their toilet has a seat that when you are finished, you put the lid down and the toilet flushes automatically. That is a perfect answer to the age old dilemma that we’re discussing above.
I, for one, have never been squeamish about toilet spray going all over the bathroom if the lid is up.
Oddly enough, on our community facebook page, someone just (an hour or so ago) posted a warning about rats in the toilets as another house is being torn down and rat nests are being disturbed. They’re on the roam again. Blecchh. Nothing like living in an old part of the city that’s being gentrified.
@BellaB If I found a rat in my toilet I’d towel dry it ,warm it up and make it a rat sized peanut butter sandwich with a fruit garnish. haha
I love rats. Not in my house obviously, but, I once raised a baby wild rat I found and he was the smartest little animal ever. Rats are as healthy as their environments, just like humans.
The country rats up here that dine on fruits, farm animal feed and chicken scratch have beautiful glossy coats and bright eyes and carry no diseases. City rats that feed on garbage are like homeless people, much more prone to disease because of their environments and poor diet. Eat trash get hepatitis.
Not putting the seat and lid down when you flush is just disgusting and gross.
I’m just glad when the boys in my house don’t pee on the seat.
Damn barbarians.
^^Isn’t that what these are for?
Because guys are expected to do everything. Women just have to look pretty.
Rats aren’t the only critters to be found in the toilet. Best to check before you sit, or stand for that matter.
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