@Inspired_2write . I don’t have violent tattoos. In fact, I have the word “Imagine,” tattooed on my neck. Yes. The Lennon song. A song, that represents peace, and coexistence.
The problem is that I am 6’5, and have a muscular build. My appearance, makes some people think that I am a violent person.
When I was 17, I had no tattoos, and didn’t shave/clip my head. I was walking into a food court, and passed a woman, and her small daughter. The daughter said, to her mother, “Mommy, that man is scary.” Her mother said “I know, just keep walking.”
I’ve said before, that I look like a Viking. That’s no lie. It actually hurt my feelings, that the little girl, was afraid of me… Over the years, I filled out. I lift weights, and am larger/stronger than most people. I have stopped lifting free weights, and am only 250 lbs now. But I guess I still look scary… It’s not my fault I’m so big. Anymore than if a person is black, or small. My father was a weightlifter, and I guess, I have lots of his genes.
If I get pulled over, by the cops, all.of a sudden there are like 6 police cars there. They hand cuff me, and put me in the back of a cruiser, no matter how cooperative I am. They search my car, and are sure that I’m some motorcycle gangmember. I understand that I just have a formidable appearance. Removing tattoos, losing weight. Won’t change that. I appreciate your advice. But I can’t change my genetics. I only shave/clip my hair, because I live in a very hot/humid environment. I’m not trying to look scary. But… I am scary looking, I guess.
When I was a bouncer, I apparently scared 13 bikers enough, just by looking the way I do, that they called my boss, and tried to get me fired. I had to ask them to leave, because they were being too wild. They had chains, and were carrying knives, on their sides. But they were apparently scared of me.
I used to get bullied, a LOT, when I moved back to America. So, I worked out, for decades, and learned MMA, boxing, and a lot of hand to hand combat stuff. I used to weigh 315 pounds. But. I guess I’m still scary looking. Sometimes, I wish I was just average sized, and I think that would help me get better jobs etc. I also attract lots of women, who want a violent looking guy. Many girls, have used me, to scare off ex-boyfriends. Then they dump me, when I’ve been used for what they wanted me for… I’m not crying over it. But it isn’t easy being a big guy.
I was just born, in the wrong time. If I were born 1,000 years ago, I’d be running shit. My size, strength, and capabilities, are now a curse. I’m actually a very nice guy. I don’t even kill insects. But. I suffer from my appearance. I don’t expect most people, to understand that. But I will never get a job, at a cushy restaurant, or somewhere wanting a person who doesn’t look like me. They don’t want a “Viking,” working any customer oriented job… I get it. But it sucks…
