Do you feel it's expected to buy/give a new teen driver a car on their 16th birthday?

Hell no. Let them buy a car. It’s the beginning of taking responsibility.

Fuck no.

Edit (maybe I should expand):
I in no way expected a car on my 16th birthday. At all. I could use my grandma’s car if I wanted to go somewhere and she was very generous about letting me use it. If she needed it and I wanted to go somewhere with my friends, I had them come and pick me up. (None of my friends got their own car on their 16th birthday either, fyi.) I got my car when I turned 18. My mom felt that I had enough behind-the-wheel experience to not fuck up. My car is my responsibility though and she talked it over with me before hand. I’m in charge of putting gas in it and paying for oil changes. If something big goes wrong and it needs a new part or something, we split the cost – I pay ⅓ and she pays ⅔. This was our agreement and this is how it’s worked since I got my car.
Stupid TV shows make kids feel like they’re entitled to a brand new car on their 16th birthday. Fuck that. If you’re lucky enough to have a parent who makes bank then fine, be spoiled. Most of us don’t have that luxury. Quite honestly, I think it’s extremely selfish to expect something like that.
Real life doesn’t happen like that. 16 doesn’t make you entitled to anything. And your birthday is just another day in the year. Get over it. (<- Not said to the asker directly. More as an in general comment.)

Shit no.

Absolutely not. There is no way a 16-year-old needs or should have a car.

Nope. I didn’t get a car until I was 18 and going to college. And I had to help pay for it. It’s called “responsibility”.

Abso-fucking-loutely not. No child deserves a thousands-of-dollars birthday gift. Ever. My first car wasn’t until my junior year of college. I got by just fine borrowing Mom’s mini-van until then.

No. If anything I think they should pay atleast half. My brother was giving a Lincoln Navigator (‘04) as his first car. Then, my mom let him trade it in for a 2007 Jetta GLI. He’s VERY ungrateful and still doesn’t know the value of a dollar.

What did I get for my first car? Nothing.

All I got for my 16th birthday was a shaving razor and cologne
True story, bro
And no, I haven’t bought a car nor do I plan to buy one. I prefer to walk and use the public transportation
FOR THE ENVIROMENT

Good grief, no. That’s when they get a job and starting saving to buy a used heap.

21, never had a car. How about you give ME one for your kid’s 16th birthday?

My dad got himself a new car for my 16th birthday.
I got his old car with non-functioning brakes for my 18th birthday.
I think it’s stupid to give kids a new car that young.

No. What? Seriously? No.

Heavens no! I guarantee none of my boys will be given a car on their 16th birthdays! They will be allowed to borrow my car – provided they pay for insurance and gas – when I am not in need of it, but their own car? No, no, no!

My aunt bought me a 87 Volvo wagon a few years ago. She was concerned that I was 30 and didn’t have a car or a license. To be honest I would probably be dead or in jail if I got one at 16. I have been known to use scary amounts of alcohol/drugs.

Interjection/curse word no!

I know Sarcasm got a sweet American muscle car when he was born
And got laid when he was only 10 months old
God bless that man

It really depends on what you mean by giving the kid a car.
Is this, going out and buying them a new car?
Or is this taking one of the family cars, giving the kid the keys and saying “Okay, this is mostly yours now”?

When I was 17 and got my license, I got the old family minivan. When my brother got his license (He’s 5 years older than I) he got one of the beat up family cars, a Ford Taurus.

No way in hell would my parents buy me a car. But it didn’t make sense to not give me that van. There was no school bus to pick me up for school, and no way I was biking 15 miles to school 5 days a week. Carpooling didn’t make sense, because we all had to leave at different times, and go different places.

How terrible to know that some parents feel pressured – even obligated to buy their children cars right after they earn their driver’s licenses. I rode the bus until senior year, and that’s only because I didn’t turn sixteen til my junior year. It wasn’t that horrible, and I was never late to class.

It never mattered to me, but my parents did buy me a new car for my 16th birthday. I had it for one year before wrecking it (an accident that was the other person’s fault). They bought me another car after that one was totaled, since the wreck was not my fault.

I’m not sure if I would buy my child a new car, but I might. It would depend on the child and the situation. If I had multiple children, it could be very convenient for us all if the oldest had a car and was able to run errands and take their siblings to school and such.

I was given a car but it was taken away when my mother’s car broke down. She had to use the car she had initially bought for me. I was ok with that. It took me a few months but I eventually saved up enough money for a car. And I wasn’t 16. I was 18 before I was even allowed to take my driving test. I say let the kids buy their own car. I think it’s ridiculous when I see 16 year olds driving around in brand new 2010 cars! What does that teach kids?

No. No one should ever expect someone else to buy them a car.

I find myself lucky, as my parents got me a car at 16 (it was gently used, only two years old). I took advantage, and my parents took the car back and got me a different one (I went from a red sporty car, to a silver Ford Focus…that was my punishment, which to a teenage girl, was the end of the world) After I dropped out of HS, I paid my parents quite a bit, if not all the car payment each month. At some point, they picked the payments up and paid the car off.
I’m also lucky that my parents want and can afford to buy me a car, and they did so after I had my first child, and my old car went to my husband.
Not every family works like mine, and I respect that. I never expected it from my parents, they chose to do it.

Also, maybe because I’ve been “given” cars, but I fail to see what you learn when you don’t have a car….the bus schedule maybe? What is it supposed to teach them? I’m honestly not sure.
When my children are older, I do plan on helping them get a car, especially if they are working, are good students, and responsible to care for the car.

The year that I was sixteen, my parents were more concerned about me finding a job, because to them it was the age where I could work and start buying some of my own stuff. They offered me a deal when I had a job and could afford to get my own car. They said they would pay one year of my car insurance or I could put about $1,500 towards a car. I took the year of car insurance and paid my own car payments.

I don’t think that I am obligated to buy my children anything like that. I will help if I am financially able.

I haven’t pressured my parents.
okay, maybe a little. I want a VW beetle or a Nissan Altima with the steering wheel on the right (European Style!). I yet need a license or permit.

@cyndihugs and the money with which to buy it.

I got an older car that we already had, and had had sitting around waiting for me to turn 16, so I could drive my bother to school and home. Once I had proven my driving skills, and when I was starting my senior year, I got a used car that I still have to go to college in. I think that if parents are getting their kids cars, they need to get them something that they can learn on. Something that rattles if it goes too fast. :D New cars are an absolute no-no.

Am I reasonable to suggest a new teen driver start with a pre owned car since the chances of them getting bumps will be super high (and so will insurance) and also a manual transmission so they won’t be able to text while driving? Also, am I reasonable to suggest the teen driver be responsible for paying the monthly car insurance and gas?

@hungryhungryhortence Gas, yes. Insurance… halfsies. Preowned, totally. Manual… maybe. I think that automatic transmissions allow people to focus more on driving and less on shifting.

@hungryhungryhortence Definitely a used car, heck it’s rare even my parents buy a brand new car (I think it happened like once, or twice). Definitely gas. If you drive it, you should be putting the gas into it. Insurance is usually not that much, since you have to add the teenager. I’d make them pay the difference, of how much my insurance went up from adding them. My parents had me pay the car payments, because I could go to the bank with the slips and do the deposits myself, so it was easier for them.

No, completely unecessary.

It never happened in my family, not with me or my sons or my grandsons. They weren’t even allowed to get their driver’s license until they could afford to pay their own insurance.

I was given the privilege of driving the 12 year old manual transmission Corolla if I got up early and took my mom to work in the morning and if no one else needed it. When my best friend rear-ended me and totaled the car, my parents were generous enough to let me use the few hundred dollars of insurance money as a down payment on my first car – a five year old Nissan Sentra. I paid gas and car payments, they paid insurance.

I specifically asked my dad to teach me on and let me drive the Corolla instead of the slightly newer Taurus. I wanted to be comfortable with a stick shift in case I ever found myself in a situation that required me to know how to drive one. The car I bought at age 31 when I was pregnant was my first automatic.

Enjoy.

haha i didn’t get my first car till i was 25 and could afford to buy it and it was a piece of crap but got me from A to B

I didn’t have a car until I got married and my first husband told me that if we spent the money and bought a new engine it would be like a brand new car.
It caught fire 2 months later. That was 30 years ago. My kids got used cars when they turned 18. Grandma bought 2 of them cars when they turned 18. The one who didn’t get one is now the most successful of all my 3 kids. Coincidence?

I bought my first car for $50.00. It was a 15 year old ford and the clutch was so stiff you needed both feet to get it to the floor!

It was my pride and joy.

I think everyone should at the very least make a contribution towards their car. I take better care of things I have a vested interest in.

Just realized I didn’t make since. Grandma bought the new cars when they turned 20.

@Judi Haha! Like I said earlier, my little brother got to drive the Lincoln Navigator, then my mom traded it in for a brand new VW Jetta. He is the most ungrateful person I know! Ended up dropping out of college his first semester, quit his job, moved out of my moms and now he’s being a spiteful little….. Anyway, I never got a car and I’m in college with amazing grades, have a condo and an amazing boyfriend. Traveled all over the country, and out right out of high school. To this day I still don’t have my own car. However my boyfriend has gotten one, and he drives me where I need to go.

wtf, no, not at all. why would it be? most kids whose parents bought them a car for their 16th birthday are spoiled, ungrateful little brats. i say this from experience too, from seeing classmates/friends/relatives who got new cars and everything else they wanted handed to them all being the least thankful humans i ever knew….Buying a kid a car for their birthday does not make them appreciate it, it does not teach them to work for what they want, it doesn’t teach them to be careful on the road because their hard earned money is all invested in the vehicle they’re driving. fuck no.

We all seem to be in agreement here. Is there anyone who will admit to GETTING a car for their 16th birthday? If so, are you an ungrateful little s#it, or did you appreciate it? If you did, how did you show your appreciation?

@Judi: My Grandfather wanted to buy me a brand new car for my 16th b-day but my parents nixed the idea. What I got was a non operational ‘71 orange Ford Maverick towed into our yard after my dad helped the previous owner buy a brand new Toyota pickup. Grrrrrrrrrrr I wasn’t so much of a brat since I did pay my own insurance and a year later bought my own car but I admit I did scrape up that Maverick more than one time, I did get a speeding ticket in, I did do some awfully bad driving in it, all things I would have cried about if they’d happened to a brand new gifted car.

@holden: the video is precious, takes me back to memories of my ex’s daughter and nieces.

My old man did buy a car in preparation for my license. It was a used ‘93 Chevy Lumina (euro) he bought for 700$. It wasn’t my car though, and I never assumed it as a gift. And when I left home, he sold it, only compensating me for the CD player that I installed.

My parents (mostly dad) surprised me with a car before I even had my permit. It was just sitting in the driveway when I got home from school one day. Not to sound ungrateful but being the impulsive and always-trying-to-please guy my dad is, he should have made a wiser decision and bought a newer, more active car. Anyways… I wasn’t expecting it right then, but I did always assume that they would buy me my first car. I don’t think not having to pay for my own car or insurance has any bearing on how responsible I am.

When our twins (now 22) turned 16, it did not automatically mean a driver’s license. We felt that they needed to show they were responsible enough to maintain an insurance policy first. It would have been different if there were a real or practical need for them to drive, but there was not, and they both chose not to maintain the insurance.

I think there can be a middle ground, where parents do what they can to help their kid become a driver without giving them a massive sense of entitlement. My parents got me driving classes for my 16th birthday, which proved really useful. There was one old beater car in the family, and my dad said that out of me and my sister, whoever got it fixed and registered first could have it, and the other one was on their own. There were a lot of repairs to be done, and my parents weren’t helping, so to me it was way too much effort to be worth it. I think that approach was kind of cutthroat, but apparently it taught (?) us something.

Just want to clarify. I don’t advocate parents doing that at all. It’s pretty unhealthy IMO.

We have a third car which is a 2007 Hyundai Sonata. My daughter turns sixteen in January. She will be allowed to use it when she wants to get a job and pay her insurance on it. She will not get her license until she can pay insurance. I did not get a car until I bought one myself. I don’t think it’s a bad deal, and it will teach her responsibility. No one rides for free in life.

Absolutely not. My parents didn’t feel like sixteen year olds should be driving, so I didn’t have my permit or a license at 16. To be honest, I didn’t really need either. I wasn’t going anywhere that my parents, an older friend, walking, or public transportation couldn’t accommodate. I finally got my license at 19, and it was then that my dad bought me a used car. At that point, it had become a necessity for me. I was attending film school in a city with unreliable public transportation and was often at school fairly late. I worked two jobs the summer before he bought me the car so I could pay for the insurance, but I was pleasantly surprised when (in the end) he decided to pay for it himself. My sister is 21 and still doesn’t have a car or a license- it hasn’t become a necessity for her yet and she hasn’t expressed a whole lot of interest in having either, although she does have her permit and has learned how to drive.

I agree with my parent’s decisions. When I have kids, I may let them drive at 16 depending on their maturity and whether or not a license would be beneficial. More than likely, I’ll wait until they are in college and (finances allowing) get them a used car at that point.

My son expects it. I told him to “expect” in one hand, and crap in the other and see which one fills up first!

@Judi I’ve already stated in the thread that my parents did get me a car when I was 16 (after I got my license…six months of having my permit).
Guess I’m an ungrateful little brat, huh?

I think it’s ridiculous people are judging the children for receiving something from their parents. I never asked for a car. Of course you’ve got shows like Sweet Sixteen where the kids expect a car, my parents getting me a car did not happen like that at all.

@casheroo ; sorry I missed your post. I really was saying that everyone was “calling” those kids “ungrateful brats,” and I never like to get into these kinds of discussions without hearing the other side. I wanted to hear people like you defend the practice. I always get skeptical when everyone agrees and so I seek out the dissenting opinion.
If the practice is so common I knew that someone here must have had their 16th birthday car and survived to be a contributing member of society. Sorry I missed your post earlier. You know I lurve you!

@Sampson That was one hell of a car.

@Judi It’s fine. I just think it’s ridiculous for so many people to judge someone for this thing. It honestly makes people look bitter and jealous, in my opinion. And I will admit, I do know of the people they are referring to..but I’ve honestly never met one in person (I probably wouldn’t be friends with someone like that to begin with)
Also, my car came in handy when I dropped out of HS soon after getting my license, and started working full time, and going to college full time. I had used public transportation prior to that, but got a new job that was further away and not much different hours than my parents (I had to be into work much earlier than them…like 5–6am) so it made sense for me to have my own car.

Amen, @casheroo. I got a car, an old minivan, but a car none-the-less. I’m not spoiled because I got it, and I’m certainly not ungrateful for it.

Now, yes, if your parents buy you a 2010 BMW for your 16th birthday, that may merit the title of “Spoiled”.

@casheroo Yeah. Not all kids are ungrateful little brats, however some can be. As long as you teach kids respect and responsibility, it’s fine. The way my brother has acted after having been given brand new cars shows that he’s learned neither of these. I think it depends on the kid really.

No, that is unreasonable – I echo what others have said before – affording a car would be their responsibility

@Sarcasm I don’t see why those kids would be spoiled. In both instances, the parents gave their child what they could afford to give. I don’t see why “poor” parents would give their child a BMW, or why “rich” parent would give their child a hooptie. If the kid is fortunate enough to have parents who are well-off, then great. As long as they don’t take it for granted, there’s no problem.

@Facade – Hahahaha! “Hooptie”! I haven’t heard that in ages. Lurve it!

I feel that when parents buy their teenagers cars, the kids feel as though they are also being given the ticket to freedom as well. Freedom to be a little late to school, freedom to run out to the parking lot during lunch and jet off, freedom to go wherever they please. Yes, with a car teenagers are granted a bit more freedom, but certainly not more than they are entitled to – and most 16-year-olds have the tendency to take advantage of that. For those of you who had cars in high school, can you honestly say that you never skipped a class or two? a test you didn’t study for? This is just an observation I have made when I was in high school – most students who skipped regularly were usually the ones with cars. Either that or they had working or lenient parents. While these kids may not necessarily be ungrateful or “spoiled”, most will take advantage of their freedom if they are given a car.

@Judi, We’re not bitter or jealous. Cars are expensive whether they are used or new. When parents spend an astronomical amount of money on their 16-year-old kid, it’s almost always due to some form pressure that society has thrust upon them. No one wants to spend $25,000+ or even $500 on a teenage kid – not even the financial elite, I’m sure they feel a certain amount of pressure as well. I wouldn’t give in – as long as there is a bus that stops at the end of my street my kid will ride it. That is if I ever decide to have kids in the far and distant future.

@Sarcasm This thread is about the notion of parents who buy their children cars.

@Gokey Kids can skip class without a car. I don’t see the correlation.

I understand that students could easily skip school without a car. I stated that from my experience in high school – students who skipped regularly were usually the ones with cars.

@Gokey I skipped a LOT of school. Did I have a car? Nope. Did anyone else that I skipped with have a car? Nope!

Who is putting pressure on the parents to do this? Or are we talking about the same parents who have helicoptered their kids since birth for what is looking to be of dubious benefit?

Are these the same ones who 10–12 years ago asked little Madison and Riley in the store why they were shrieking at the cashier instead of telling them to stop it because we don’t talk to people that way? The ones who who had their kids in 6 activities a day before they were in kindergarten? The ones who the children vaguely suspect are using them in an effort to show off their wealth and gene pool? These “parents”? Then they’re the ones putting pressure on themselves.

Everyone else seems to manage just fine. Everyone else seems to learn in due course that we value that which we have to put effort in to get and maintain, be that a relationship, an education, a skill… or a car.

@casheroo I don’t necessarily think that people who are given a car on their 16th birthday are spoiled brats, but I do think that a vast number of 16 year olds aren’t ready to handle the responsibility and respect that comes with driving and owning their own vehicle- and I think a lot of that was why my parents (my mother in particular) was against me learning to drive at 16. This is all anecdotal obviously, but most of my friends who learned to drive at a young age have several moving violations and accidents under their belt- and a lot have already owned several vehicles due to their own reckless behavior. After five years of driving, I currently don’t have any of those and think a lot of it dealt with how much I matured from 16–19 (when I got my license).

Sounds like a myth perpetuated by 15½-year-olds.

16-year-olds who expect to get a car on their birthday: Spoiled.
16-year-ols who were allowed to use the (ex)family car: Not spoiled (in this way at least)

@chelseababyy My statement was a simple observation based on my own experiences; I didn’t say it was true of all high schoolers – didn’t mean for it to sound like a sweeping generalization.

@aprilsimnel Who puts the pressure on parents? Society. It seems to be a culturally ingrained practice – a tradition that should never have been. Do wealthy parents put the pressure on themselves? From the way you have made it sound it should certainly seem like it, but these parents are succumbing to the pressures of society and just as much as anyone else.

@rockstargrrrlie I do think a vast number of 16-year-olds aren’t ready to handle the responsibility and respect that comes with driving and owning their own vehicle. -Well said, and I agree!

@Gokey This thread is about the notion of parents who buy their children cars.
Reread the original question. The question is “Do you feel it’s expected to buy/give a new teen driver a car on their 16th birthday?”
See how @hungryhungryhortence put in “buy/give”? Two options!

Yes, that’s quite right. The pressure, the expectancy, and the going-forth with the idea as well I would imagine. I’m sure you knew what I meant.

You seemed slightly confused about the question yourself when you said:
“Is this, going out and buying them a new car? Or is this taking one of the family cars”

@Gokey, society is made up of individuals, ergo, yes, such people are putting the pressure on themselves. And individuals can change society by asking themselves if what the so-called “you have to buy your kid a new car or else (s)he’s gonna be a freak!” dictum works for the greater good of their family or not.

I understand we can’t escape every single bit of pressure by societal forces, but if no one ever questioned them, I might be a slave today, or might not be able to vote, so I don’t exactly concede that people can be so held down by “society” to do something.

@Sarcasm: Thank you for noting that. I’m surprised by the number of co workers and guests who feel they are supposed to be able to buy/give their kids a car once the 16th b-day comes around. I remember being really irritated when my last ex went crazy hunting down a car for his daughter and then paying an addition $2K to have it shipped out of state so it would be on her driveway for her birthday. C’mon, this kind of shite is ridiculous. Not all kids are spoiled like that, I know but the parents set themselves up to come through or else feel like losers and I’m just feeling better to read the majority of jellies don’t feel this way because it means the people I know irl are freaks. :(

@J0E Indeed. I miss her, too. She wasn’t pretty, but she was mine.

For clarification, I don’t think giving your 16 y/o a car is a bad thing and my intention was never to be insulting toward parents or children in families that do this. My personal opinion is that a used car is more appropriate.

I just remembered a girl in my high school class. Her dad bought her a brand new cherry red fully loaded Camaro when she turned 16. She was pissed that it wasn’t a Porsche. After 6 months, he got her the Porsche. Kids like her are the ones that perpetuate the stereotype of new car at 16 = spoiled brat.

I will also say that the only other two people in my class to get new cars at 16 totaled them within the first year. I do think there is an element of being more responsible and appreciative when you have to work for something.

@Supacase: my ex’s daughter harped on him for a year to lease her a Mercedes hatchback thing and threw a fit when we said no. She actually barked at him to give her his car since it was “already 3yrs old” (Jaguar) and buy himself a new car. You should’ve heard him apologizing to her and trying to soothe her because he couldn’t give her what she wanted, I wanted to spit. We ended up buying her a used car that was pretty nice and only 2yrs old but she still cried, threw tantrums and bitched about it at every opportunity. How she evolved into a kind and courteous 19yr old, I’ll never figure out.

Nope. Certainly, getting a car would be nice, and I suppose that a parent might give a car as a reward for an unrelated accomplishment (like, winning the state science fair), and granting some access to a vehicle is expected of a parent, but I think that one ought to buy his own car.