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le_inferno's avatar

[NSFW] Guys: is it possible for you to make out with someone you find attractive without automatically getting an erection?

Asked by le_inferno (6194points) September 9th, 2010

Can you be kissing a girl (or guy, if that’s your thing) and not feel sexually aroused? When I kiss a guy, my thoughts/intentions are not always sexual. Sometimes I just like doing it because it’s enjoyable, fun, affectionate, or romantic…I don’t plan on getting off. But it seems like guys’ bodies are automatically geared toward sex/getting off after a bit of kissing. For example, once I was sitting on a porch on a lovely afternoon with my boyfriend. We made out a little, nothing hot and heavy (I’d describe it more like sweet/gentle), but when we stopped I noticed he had a huge boner. My mind wasn’t there at all. Is this an individual thing or does this happen to most guys?

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28 Answers

wgallios's avatar

I think it depends on the situation. For me if I am out in public, or its just light kissing, no big deal I can control myself.

But when it starts getting hot and heavy, and shes startin to grind on it…different story.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I can’t speak for all guys, but that’s normally what happens to me. If you mean by making out what I think you mean by it, then yes, I get an erection.

le_inferno's avatar

@wgallios We were out in public, but no one was directly around us, and it was a little more than light kissing. I feel like maybe for some guys, they get erections right off the bat, but some guys it takes a little more to get them going. I just wonder how universal it is to get hard so easily. And if it’s possible for them to view kissing as non-sexual.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Nope. Not possible. Heck! Even thinking about it starts the juices flowing.

Keep that in mind.

Blackberry's avatar

It isn’t automatic, but after a few minutes it will go up, although sometimes there is a point where it can go back down because you’re bored of just kissing.

DominicX's avatar

I don’t get an erection if it’s just “light kissing”, as you said. Of course, when my boyfriend and I were first going out, just the idea of doing anything with him made me horny, but that’s “calmed down” since then. Still, anything beyond a goodbye kiss or something smaller like that (in other words, if it’s to the point of making out), it’s probably going to give me an erection or at least make me feel…tingly…down there. And it doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with expecting more afterward.

wgallios's avatar

@le_inferno I guess I cant speak for all men. I’m sure everyone has their sensitivity level. I really think there is a lot of factors that go into it, at least for me… Case in point:

I met this girl 3 weeks ago at a birthday party. We started talking, we both were kind of on the same track of where this was going (sexually). Over the 3 weeks we had text back and forth, and it sometimes would get a little heavy. This past weekend we were out on the strip (we live in Vegas), and we were in a casino and we started kissing, and she said she wanted to go back to my place. In that situation I found it to be an extreme task to stay “focused”. All the factors of talking to her, texting, her intentions, how she handled herself, tellin me she wants to go, all can play a factor in self control. Lets just say I told her to relax once or twice so we could make it back to the car.

might have been a bit of an overshare, but good example none the less

bob_'s avatar

Light kissing: nada.

Heavy make-out session: whoa there, boy!

Randy's avatar

Yeah, anything light isn’t too big a deal but when it starts to get a little heavy, I’m usually “good to go”. That doesn’t necessarily mean I’ve got sex on the brain though. If I can get it, I’ll usually take it but a hard on during a make out session is just my body’s natural response.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

No guy I make out with these days can not get an erection. Hope that helps. I make out to get sexual pleasure, not to chew on someone’s lips for fun.

Scooby's avatar

Once it’s up, it’s up….. I can’t control blood flow. Given practice, maybe! Mind over matter!?… nahhh, let em see what’s on offer I say!! :-/

If it’s getting to hot then don’t stoke the boiler…….

MissAnthrope's avatar

I love kissing and can happily make out without the expectation of sex afterwards. Depending on the stage of the relationship, even light kissing can turn me on, but honestly, if it were anything more, I’d be aroused to the point where I’d definitely have a boner if I were a guy. Girls are sexy and kissing them is pretty fantastic.

bob_'s avatar

@MissAnthrope Hear, hear!

EDIT TO ADD: I just thought it’d be appropriate to post this.

mrrich724's avatar

If it turns out being a bad kiss, then yea, it can happen. And if the other has some breath, definitely no boner going on.

But if the hygene is in check, and the kiss is good, no way to suppress the beast.

kenmc's avatar

No, for me it isn’t possible.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

No, I can’t. That said though, it doesn’t mean my mind is on sex. I can be aroused and not notice till quite a bit later.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

okay, I can’t speak for every single man out there on fluther or in the world in general but I think no it only depends on how you’re kissing, when it’s making out mayyybeee, when it just a kiss most likely no, or maybe when you’re french kissing yes. But since I haven’t made out with any girl no for me. But it all depends to me.

le_inferno's avatar

Interesting, thanks for the info guys.

augustlan's avatar

Am I the only one aroused by this entire question? I’m female, but kissing to the point of arousal is freakin’ awesome. Even if it can’t go anywhere. :D

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

@augustlan Haha yeah I think you may be? Idk can’t speak for every woman too ya know?

ratboy's avatar

Excuse me for a moment while I get a tissue.

ucme's avatar

My penis has it’s own agenda, this kinda sums it up! :¬) Kissing or whatever, damn thing has a mind of it’s own.

Frenchfry's avatar

This question makes my want to grab my husband and find out. Let’s experiment. I’ll get back to you and tell you if he got a boner or not.

thekoukoureport's avatar

Mine wakes up when the wind blows.
someone once told me that “I would screw a glass if their was warm water in it”

sleepdoc's avatar

I didn’t read all the answers before answering. So hopefully I am not repeating anything. I think it depends on the age and experience level of the guy and the type of kissing you are talking about. One or two mild kisses are probably controlable… a makeout session not liklely.

JustmeAman's avatar

I’m getting on in years but the kissing still triggers nature… I would think as my experience dictates that most men don’t have control over it. Even thinking about it or talking like this in answering questions is going to cause it in a lot of men.

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