General Question

superman52's avatar

Do you ever think the one you are with, isn't the one for you?

Asked by superman52 (18points) April 2nd, 2008
Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

34 Answers

scamp's avatar

I did, but I’m not with him anymore.

lovelyy's avatar

i am not dating anyone at the moment, but i think everyone has their doubts. if there is somebody you feel will be better for, i say you go for it.

edit: i’m guessing you are only dating the girl or boy you are talking about. if you’re married, i say you both should work it out and let everything out on the table.

superman52's avatar

we have been dating for a little over a year now. i just don’t feel as connected as we used to as say a few months in. recently i’ve been talking to a friend of mine and i’m thinking my feelings might turn in to something more.

chazaro's avatar

Yes. I asked myself that question during the last 4 years of my marriage and not only made me insecure and unhappy , but the worst is that she was going through the same process…. Today we are again the best friends and I’m just happy that we realized on time that some people are just better as friends than lovers / partners

scamp's avatar

@superman52 I think it’s best to stick to one relationship at a time. If you aren’t happy with the person you are dating end it before beginning something new. It’s the only fair thing to do for both women involved and will save you a lot of heart ache in the long run. That way you can give your full attention to the one you are with no matter which one that turns out to be.

The first step is to talk to the woman you are dating. You may find that she is the one for you after all.

lovelyy's avatar

@superman52; cheating is never the answer, if you are deciding to cheat i highly advise you to not! cheaters never get away with out being caught. plus you’d have bad karma. if you do have feelings for your friend and your girlfriend you need to spend a day thinking who you actually want, who you can have a decent conversation with, and all in all who makes you happy.

mzgator's avatar

Never ! Not in a million years. My husband is my soul mate, lover and best friend. I am 100 percent sure that this is the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with.

amandaafoote's avatar

If you’re thinking that, I think you should rethink your relationship with that person.

chatnoir's avatar

Instead of sharing those intimate feelings with your ‘new’ friend, I highly recommend keeping your focus on your current relationship so that, in the end, it’s not YOU, you are feeling is not ‘the right one’. It sounds like what you are really doing is finding someone else, before you’ve ended your current relationship, with integrity. You’ll feel yucky in the long run, if you do it, that way. Plus, it’s just not nice.

dbtrTruluv's avatar

Yes, ALL the Time! Call it off. Be gentle try not to burn bridges. Try to remain friends basically, Life is too short. Stop waisting each others time/availability. The longer the lie the harder it gets not to mention complicated. Easier said than done. 15Yrs married on the rebound,& feeling stuck now. It would have been so much easier had I listened to that doubt instead of my fear of being alone.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

There are so many people NOT for me that by a process of elimination, my wife simply HAS to be the only one for me. I could not think of another female that could ever make me as happy as she does, so no, I never think that she isn’t the one for me. She is my very best friend and has been for 26 years.

Sweety87's avatar

What if you are happy and in love with the person you are together with, but somehow find yourself falling in love with a new person at the same time?

shortysith's avatar

I’ve just have been through it. Was with a guy for six years and loved him, but knew in the end he wasn’t the guy i was going to marry even though i desperately wanted to feel that way. Trust your gut, I agree with the above response…it will save you and your partner heartache. Scary decision to make though…but you only live once, so live for you!

ru2bz46's avatar

Yes, everytime she cheats.

JellyB's avatar

I do think so sometimes. Or rather, i feel it. I’m still happy though and love him, but something’s missing, that i need. But i can do without it.

JellyB's avatar

@ru2bz46…..for real? Aw :(

ru2bz46's avatar

Yes @JellyB, we’re separated. We get along great, but I just don’t feel secure in the relationship any more. She told me the other day that as long as we’re separated, she wants permission to date. Whatever…

JellyB's avatar

@ru2bz46 Eh…. :( What’s the point of keeping that going…?

ru2bz46's avatar

Well, @JellyB, she also pointed out to me the other day that California law starts by giving her 40% of my gross pay, which is 60% of my net pay. Currently, I pay for both of our houses and my apartment, as well as her car and insurance, health and life insurance, etc. I get some rental income from her roommates and the tenants in our second house. Money’s tight, but affordable. If she takes 60% of my net pay, she could pay for the house she lives in and her car and other expenses, but I wouldn’t have enough to keep the other house, or my car. Like they say, “It’s cheaper to keep ‘er.”

JellyB's avatar

@ru2bz46 That’s insane…. if someone cheats, they lose their right to your “stuff”. That’s how it works here anyway…they take that into account. That’s so unfair…. :/

ru2bz46's avatar

California is a strange animal, @JellyB. I saw my friend spend over $120,000 on a custody battle (which directly affected child support payments) where his ex was using the children to cause him pain and suffering. It was clear to all who knew them both that she is an unfit mother, but she got full custody (the battle started when she kicked the 13 year old daughter out of her house). Two months after the battle was over, she handed the daughter back over to my friend and said, “you can have her”.

We are still very friendly (I’ve forgiven all of her transgressions), but I think she just pointed that out in case I was secretly plotting to toss her out on her butt. Unfortunately, it made me want to toss her out on her butt.

JellyB's avatar

@ru2bz46 What a terrible story!! And, she should earn her own money!! Law sucks – it gives people “rights” to things they are often not even entitled to according to common sense…

beckers's avatar

No i luv the guy im with i am pefectly happy and i cud see us having a life together

veronasgirl's avatar

Sort of. I feel like I know the relationship isn’t good for me, but I can’t stop myself from falling…

amilcar80's avatar

hi i dont speak english sorry i hope that you people understan me, but y read an speak a little. soy de argentina y creo que si varias veces piensas eso y que si puedes superar tus dudas una y otra vez y sigues estando con esta persona entonces ya es un buen indicio de que la relacion supera obstaculos.-

YARNLADY's avatar

Nope, I never have. I lost my first two beloved husbands the hard way, and have been married to this one 34 very happy years and still going strong.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

No. I met my present partner under non ideal circumstances and basically engaged him in opposition to what all traditionally has made sense to me yet I feel closer to him than some previous partners and I can comfortably imagine building a life with him. At first it panicked me that I was falling in love because I had told myself I wouldn’t, that he couldn’t possibly reciprocate (I’m not his “type”) but stranger things have happened between people.

ru2bz46's avatar

I’m so happy for you @hungryhungryhortence! I can’t wait to meet him!

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

@ru2bz46 he’s been hitting the gun room pretty hard, he’s heard of your “poetry”. hee

ru2bz46's avatar

Uh oh! I haven’t written much lately…I’d better get creative.

Zen_Again's avatar

welcome oh @superman52 – GQ! it happens all the time. the trick is not to let it get you down and just accept certain inevitabilities.

Sophief's avatar

No, because I know he is.

Zen_Again's avatar

Actually, right now I’m with Ms. Right Now. But I also follow the old adage (and subsequent) song; love the one you’re with.

AnonymousWoman's avatar

Yes, I know the feeling. It’s unfortunate, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. Anyway, I really like him and he is awesome, so I’m not planning on leaving him anytime soon.

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