General Question

jca's avatar

Maybe NSFW: How come some men (men that are not necessarily pedophiles) like to consider the woman that they're with to be their "little girl?"?

Asked by jca (36043points) November 19th, 2010

There is a BDSM fetish called “age play.” If you google it, or look on a fetish website such as Fetlife, you will find many groups for age play, which usually means couples where the woman pretends she is a little girl (“Daddy’s little girl” or something like that) and the man plays the Daddy. I would guess that the majority of men that do this are not pedophiles but obviously there must be something to this if so many people are into it.

So the question is, why do some men like to consider the woman that they’re with to be their little girl?

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24 Answers

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
Blueroses's avatar

I get “creeped” by that too but maybe it’s just a protective/provider thing? Makes the man feel more manly if the woman is smaller and needs him?

janedelila's avatar

Wow Great Question. I have a friend who is small boned, 5’3”, maybe 120 lbs. Her husband is easily three times her size, and 6’5”, She’s called him Big Daddy for as long as I can remember, and she is 7 years older. I think it really is an old time “hunter/gatherer” type of feeling for them, he takes care of her physically and protects her, and she adores him.

Winters's avatar

Lolita complex

Jeruba's avatar

I think you might be making a mistaken assumption if you think it’s just one-sided. Surely there are cases where the woman wants (needs, asks) to be “daddied,” possibly even cases where there was some kind of past trauma that’s being reenacted.

It’s my guess that people with complementary needs find each other some amount of the time.

Zaku's avatar

i don’t know, but many women seem to wish I would do that… apparently from not getting all they would have wanted from their own dads.

FutureMemory's avatar

It definitely goes both ways. I know a 50 year old woman that likes for her man to be her “daddy” during sex.

Response moderated (Off-Topic)
funkdaddy's avatar

This doesn’t seem like much of a stretch for the BDSM community… especially compared to other options out there.

Traditionally your mother is seen as the caretaker and nurturer and your father gets stuck with handing out punishment. So if your into punishment it seems like “daddy” would be a natural place to start.

I also don’t see the connection to pedophilia. Is this any different than having a fantasy about a theoretical teacher or boss? They’re just putting one person in control.

jlelandg's avatar

It’s like gay furry incest with a boy who has the same name as you that you think is your “brother”. What’s fantasy is fantasy and reality is reality. If you can keep those in their proper place you should be okay.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
DominicX's avatar

I don’t understand it either. There are some songs I know where the woman refers to the man as “daddy” and I just don’t get it. Total turn-off for me…

Jeruba's avatar

I don’t think those “daddy” songs (“You been a good old wagon, daddy, but you done broke down”; “Daddy, you been on my mind”) are any more about parents than all those “mama” songs (“Put on your red dress, mama, we’re going out tonight”), nor are they parental nicknames for each other. They’re terms of endearment used in a special way, like “baby.” That’s a really different business from daddy games in the kinky scene, I think.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Maybe….. Imported from Japan? Not that it is the only reason behind it. I guess part of it is like going skinny dipping in your neighbors pool when you know you shouldn’t. It is not suppose to be done so doing it makes it more fun.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Could this be the opposite of the Cougar who chases down younger boys?

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Ever since I was a kid then this has been a term of endearment I’ve seen between some couples. When I was in my teens and 20’s then I thought it perverse and read all kinds of other crap into it but now I’ve seen enough to where it’s no big deal- no fetish stuff going on, no need for macho reinforcement, no subjugation of the woman who is doing too well.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
zenvelo's avatar

you see it a lot on craigslist. I think it feeds the needs of men who want a submissive woman in a special way. It is borderline pedophile in my mind- there seems to be a lot of “catholic school girl” role play, and a lot of “spanking the naughty girl.”

as long as both people are consenting adults, chacun a son gout.

jca's avatar

@Neizvestnaya: it can be a fetish. If you look at a fetish website you will find groups referring to Daddies and their little girls (try Fetlife). Also, if you google “age play” you will see it described as a fetish (Wikipedia and others). I understand not every man that is called Daddy is doing it as a fetish, but a lot are.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@jca: Probably so, I don’t doubt it but between the couples I’ve known who call the other “daddy”, “papa”, “baby”, “babygirl” then it’s been pretty innocent. Whether I’ve been the younger partner or the older one then I’ve always been someone’s “darlin” or “baby” and not one of the guys has tried to paddle me yet or coax me into ridiculous outfits.

Exitor98's avatar

I never have understood the whole school girl fetish thing.

Now a grown woman in a Cindirella or Snow White costume can be very hot.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

So the question is, why do some men like to consider the woman that they’re with to be their little girl?
Now that this question has popped up in my feed again, and I have examined it with different eyes, off face value it should not make a difference. For whatever reason they choose so, I guess like most other things was for their own pleasure or amusement. Any reference to pedophiles need not be in the equation as there is nothing to point that way.

SecondHandStoke's avatar

Both men and women internally long for the simpler times and wonder that came with youth.

Our parents protected and provided for us.

Reliving the feeling of youth through our significant others is inevitable.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Revisited—Why do some women who are not necessarily “victim-minded” call their man “daddy”, “poppy”, “my old man” or get excited when their man spanks them? Just as much a mystery as the subject of this thread.

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