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Aster's avatar

Would you love to have married your high school sweetheart or would you find that too restrictive?

Asked by Aster (19126points) January 15th, 2011

Some people marry their HS bf/gf right out of high school and stay married . They never or almost never got to date anyone else. Do you think dating only one person all your life is romantic or restrictive to a full life if you remain in love? Or do you think people should date lots of other people before tying the knot? And no; I never did this.

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12 Answers

deni's avatar

I would not prefer it. I appreciate my relationship now SO MUCH because I had a good share of failed awkward ones that were just wrong in some way. I wouldn’t be disappointed if I married someone I dated in high school, because obviously to marry them they must make me happy….but at the same time having just one partner your whole life does seem kind of restricting. But, again, whatever works!

gorgeousgal3's avatar

If I knew deep in my heart that I wanted to be together with the person forever I wouldn’t feel restricted if I had never felt the connection with someone else.But then again some people have to date a lot of people before they get to the right one.

Megan64's avatar

No, thanks. I didn’t fall in love until I was much, much older. All those high school relationships were just tragedy and drama.

SavoirFaire's avatar

I did marry mine, though we didn’t actually get married until I was done with college. But that is not to say I only dated one person in my life. Far from it. Not all high school relationships begin on day one of freshman year, after all!

marinelife's avatar

I never had a relationship in high school that was worth hanging on to.

Sarcasm's avatar

Personally? No. She was a terrible match for me, uninteresting, unintelligent, and despite the cross she wore on her neck, a terrible person. If I stuck with her, I’d be dropping acid in Arizona and doing god-knows-what else.

In general? I think it’s not a great idea. You barely know anything about anything when you’re in high school, so it’s hard to imagine that you’d be able to pick the right one for you.

It’s possible to find someone who’s perfect for you. And when you’re younger, you’re more likely to show you, who you are at your core, rather than showing the facade you’ve put on from societal pressures and expectations later on. So you both know better of who you are.

This past Monday I stopped off in Santa Barbara and spent some time with 2 friends of mine from high school. They were middle school sweethearts, and high school sweethearts, and are happily married. They’re as happy together now as they were when I met them back in 11th grade 5 years ago. Clearly some people can find someone who’s a great match.

I’d say more often than not, high school sweethearts aren’t your “soul mates”.

JLeslie's avatar

If they are a good person, it can be fine. I know many people who married their high school sweetheart and are still happily married 20 years later. But, none of them got married right after high school, except on couple. The rest went to college, earned their degrees and got married after graduating. I do know several people who married high school sweethearts right out of high school, and they all divorced, except for the one I mentioned above. In almost all cases that divorced, the wife outgrew the husband, felt held back by him some way or another.

Aster's avatar

I know a happy couple who dated in tenth grade. Then he went into the Army. She cried day and night. When he came home he got married and by then she had also married someone else. She and her mom were at the mall and he was there. She was excited. Her mom pulled her away! They both had spouses and kids by then.
Haven’t found out the details (yet) but they somehow got together again, and married. It’s been 23 years now and they seem terribly happy.

john65pennington's avatar

I only dated three girls in and out of high school. i did not marry either one of them. i say play the field, until the right one comes along.

You will know it.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I never had one but my SO married his after she got pregnant. She cheated on him repeatedly throughout their marriage before they divorced.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

If the person I met in high school continued to be a really good partner for me and the love of my life, I wouldn’t care if I didn’t date other people (if I was interested in monogamy, that is.) However, I also don’t see what’s so romantic about being with one person only your entire life.

AussiemumJen's avatar

This works for some people, and i think thats sweet, but others grow up and change too much, find out later they are not the same people anymore.

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