General Question

marinelife's avatar

Have you ever been told a secret you wished you did not know?

Asked by marinelife (62430points) May 29th, 2008

What did you do? Did you keep it or tell someone?

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15 Answers

Wilhelm's avatar

Yes… Oh, GOD, yes. I just kindly nodded and kept it to myself.

Thanks for reminding me. I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Merp.

wildflower's avatar

Yes and yes and no. I’ve been told things I wish I hadn’t and in some cases I passed on the info (for the sake of covering my ass) and other times I didn’t – and no, I’m not telling what those things are.

DeezerQueue's avatar

Once where I worked I was privy to decisions that were made that made them secretive in nature. At times, knowing that these decisions were going to impact people for whom I cared, some cherished colleagues, it was very difficult to keep them, but I always did. Personal secrets, I’ve been told plenty of, sometimes I wish that hadn’t, but never have I betrayed one.

If there’s one thing that’s difficult in this world to find, its people whom you can truly trust, and not just with secrets.

Bri_L's avatar

Yes. I was told what someone I worked with made. Not good at all. I tried to stop it to and they actually shouted over me.

PupnTaco's avatar

You mean the one about Santa?

marinelife's avatar

Unsolicited, my best friend’s brother, a man my best friend adored and looked up to, told me he was gay. Now, this was actually obvious since he had been living with another guy, his partner, for several years. I am sure he told me because he knew I wouldn’t care.

It made me incredibly uncomfortable and seemed like an impossible position, because I knew that if he told her she would have a hard time dealing with it. (He also knew that.) I also knew that if when he told her he was gay, he also told her that he had told me some time earlier, she would be furious with me for not telling her.

In the end, after thinking about it a long time, I told her. I am still not sure it was the best decision. She loved him and tried to pretend it didn’t matter, but for a while it really bothered her. She was angry with me for telling her. (I violated their don’t ask, don’t tell pact). Also, it was easier for her to be angry with me than with him.

I came out of it feeling manipulated since I think he wanted her to know, but did not want to tell her so he used me to do it.

Now, I avoid hearing someone’s secrets whenever possible.

JMCSD's avatar

@marina, whether or not he would mention that you already knew, you weren’t “manipulated” into anything. And I think that despite him telling you, it was none of your business telling her. If anything, you were just scared and covered your own ass (not that anyone can blame you). But still, I don’t agree, from reading your entry, that you were manipulated.

marinelife's avatar

@JMCSD Thanks for your input. I take and took complete responsibility for my decision to tell my friend.

Randy's avatar

I knew a friend was cheating on a friend. It sucks being the mutual friend stuck in the middle. I told the one friend about the infidelity. It sucked at first, but it was defiantly the way to go.

atr408's avatar

yes. A fluther member said that he and his cousin had anal sex

marinelife's avatar

@atr408 Don’t remind me! Talk about too much information.

sarbee's avatar

yes! I wish I had that memory flash stock from men in black because some disturbing secrets are burned into my brain

ninjaxmarc's avatar

the ones that eat you up inside…..

scamp's avatar

@Marina after reading your story, I think that it was unfair of him to tell you without telling her first. I think you did the right thing, and I think in time your friend will realize it too. I am pretty good at keeping secrets, but sometimes you just have to tell someone out of loyalty to your relationship with them. when someone tells me something that I think neeeds to be heard by a third person, I tell them that I think they need to know, and give them the chance to tell it themselves, before I do.

JackAdams's avatar

Yes. It concerned the location of the corpse of Jimmy Hoffa (1913–75?)

August 28, 2008, 6:11 AM EDT

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