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Aster's avatar

What is your opinion of a new mother who does this to her infant?

Asked by Aster (18318points) June 10th, 2012

A woman in her thirties takes a bottle of cold milk out of the fridge and gives it to the infant without heating it up claiming , “he likes it cold.” The baby takes the first big gulp and inhales like he’s out of breath but keeps drinking it and smiling.

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33 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

Is this a real woman who is doing this? Link?

Fly's avatar

I might be initially surprised since most mothers opt to warm milk first, but I can’t form an opinion of a new mother based on this bit of information alone. The baby may very well like the milk cold, and if he takes the bottle and it does not cause stomach aches, there is no reason that the milk needs to be warmed. Here’s an additional source that corroborates this.

As a point of clarification, are you saying “The baby takes the first big gulp and inhales like he’s out of breath but keeps drinking it and smiling” as evidence that the mother is doing something wrong? Every baby I have ever seen fed or fed myself does this at the beginning and throughout feeding, whether on formula or breast milk, warm or cold.

Dutchess_III's avatar

No big deal, IMO. That’s like putting baby peaches in the fridge then serving them cold, rather than at room temp. It doesn’t hurt anything.

Aster's avatar

@fly It’s a gasp for breath at first. As if he has swallowed ice cream too fast.

Aster's avatar

I think she’s a lazy loser, personally.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, you know her and we don’t @Aster. How old is the baby?

Aster's avatar

He’s fourteen now . LOL !!! I often ask questions about past tragedies! lol

gailcalled's avatar

This is a tragedy? Does he have PSDS or tragic flashbacks?

Here’s a section from the useful link posted by @Fly:

“Why do I need to warm my baby’s bottle, and what is the best way to do it?

Many new parents believe the common misconception that a baby’s bottle should always be heated. In actuality, there is no medical reason to heat bottles before serving them. Some infants may prefer warm bottles, but most will happily accept a lukewarm or cold bottle. Try starting your baby off with a cold bottle, straight from the refrigerator; if he takes it, you have saved yourself a lot of time!”

Do you think that this woman, 14 years later, is a lazy loser, based on her method of feeding her baby? That’s a rather broad stroke of the brush, isn’t it?

My son was licking vanilla ice cream at 6 months.

Dutchess_III's avatar

How old was he when she was feeding him cold milk?

Fly's avatar

@Aster I understand what you were describing, I just don’t understand the purpose of it in your question. If you thought that meant she shouldn’t be feeding her baby cold milk, I have to disagree.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@gailcalled So many people have this idea that warm food is some how better for you than cold. When my mom started needing a little watching over, one of her friends would fuss that “all” she had in the fridge were cold chicken salads and other cold, but very nutritious food. She insisted that Mom had to have warm foods.
When I asked “Why,”
She said “Because it’s better for you!”
I refrained from going any further, out of respect for the fact that she was 70-some years old.

gailcalled's avatar

It didn’t change the choices you or your mom made about her meals, did it?

She still was permitted to eat her chicken salad chilled?

Aster's avatar

@Dutchess_III he was two days old when it began. Not relevant I guess but today she is a drug addict cited for child neglect four years ago by CPS.
Nature Knows Best and breast milk isn’t cold. Just my two cents. If you need comforting would you want something ice cold or hot soup?

Dutchess_III's avatar

The milk from the mother is simply warm because it’s produced in temps of 98.6. It’s just a “side effect.” It’s not for any nutritional reason.

Hot or cold soup…whatever I was used to. If I was used to cold soup, I’d have no problem with it, like I have no problem eating cold left over fried chicken or pork chops.

gailcalled's avatar

I find ice cream almost too comforting and often have to put a padlock on my freezer.

Fly's avatar

@Aster Breast milk isn’t cold because it’s physically impossible because of body temperature; nature “knowing best” has nothing to do with it. There’s nothing actually wrong with giving a baby cold milk, so what’s the problem? The act of giving a baby cold milk alone does not reflect on how this woman turned out. It seems to me that you would think that any mother who does this is a “lazy loser.”

For the record, I prefer cold things. (Ice cream, anyone?) I even prefer my coffee cold except in the colder months. It’s a complete matter of opinion, and babies have an opinion just like any one of us. Who are you to judge a mother for obliging?

Blackberry's avatar

“Not relevant I guess but today she is a drug addict cited for child neglect four years ago by CPS.”

You knew it wasn’t relevant, yet you stated it anyway.

Just say you don’t like the woman and are judging her parenting in other areas with nothing but anecdotal evidence.

Aster's avatar

She has no parenting skills and appears to her family, including her son, as only caring about herself @Blackberry .

Aster's avatar

@gailcalled He has not been diagnosed but states that he “will have PTSD” when he’s older. Now he appears to me to be very sad and almost desperate for love. His dad has next to nothing to do with him. He has a great deal of admiration for weed and may own a medical marijuana dispensary. Those are his aspirations.

Fly's avatar

@Aster What we’re all saying is that yes, that’s a sad situation, and yes, the woman was obviously not the best mother out there- but none of that has anything to do with that mother’s choice to feed her baby cold milk; none of these things that have come about fourteen years later happened as a result of the baby ingesting cold milk.

Aster's avatar

@Fly that’s right. None of the choices she has made had anything to do with feeding cold milk. They simply remind me of her long history of those choices.

Dutchess_III's avatar

In view of this new information, the cold milk is just one more sign of poor parenting, albeit harmless. It sounds like she would be the type to give the baby cold milk even if it was harmful.

syz's avatar

The only reason that I warm milk before giving it to the neonates that I hand raise (felids and canids, mostly) is because they are so small that it can lower their body temperature. It could probably be argued that warming milk increases the likelihood of bacterial contamination since is a better environment for growing bugs.

I’m hardly qualified to make broad pronouncements on child-rearing, but it seems to me that you’ve decided that this treatment is some sort of sin. But sounds like the kid survived, so it couldn’t have been that detrimental. And claims of “future PTSD” is just stupid. And I hardly think he remembers something from an age of 2 days.

Chill (no pun intended).

Sunny2's avatar

When my babies began teething, I switched to cold milk and the fussiness stopped. I figured cool something against those sore gums would be helpful. They ate just as vigorously.

CWOTUS's avatar

This reminds me of a story…

A new mother had her first child, a son, who seemed healthy and complete at birth. Everything checked out normal, and the doctor assured the mother that the infant’s hearing was also fine. But the baby never cried, never screamed, never made a sound. Other than the lack of sound, the baby boy seemed fine, healthy, happy, and ate well.

After some months, the mother brought the baby to another doctor to have his hearing rechecked, and to get opinions on the lack of vocalization. The new doctor studied the baby’s history, listened to the mother’s concerns, and ran a battery of tests: All normal.

At least once a year after that the mother took her apparently healthy, but totally silent, son to a new doctor for new tests and checks. Nothing ever indicated as a problem. Finally, a doctor told her that there was no medical or health reason why the boy wouldn’t speak or cry, she should just accept things as they were and be happy with him.

When the boy started kindergarten and later, first grade, the same thing happened. Teachers were startled by his silence, but could tell easily that he could hear fine and there was nothing wrong with his intelligence or class participation. He just never said a word, to them, to his parents or to any of the other kids.

None of the kids had a problem with him. He was friendly and cheerful, a good athlete, and easy to get along with. He made friends easily and was always included in all activities.

Eventually his mother learned to accept his silence and stopped dwelling on it.

Years went by as the boy grew normally. His parents learned to completely ignore that he never said a word. Things were smooth.

One day in his sixteenth year the boy came home late one day from playing outside with his friends. His mother, knowing that his summer days could last longer than she was willing to wait dinner on him, had served his soup and left it on the table for him to get to. When the boy came in from outside he washed up and sat down at the table. He picked up his soup spoon hungrily and dove into the soup, taking a huge spoonful and putting it into his mouth. He got an odd look on his face, but swallowed the soup with some evident distaste. “Soup’s cold,” he said, as plain as day.

His parents, shocked, stopped chewing their own food and nearly choked as they attempted to respond to him. In tears, his mother said to him, “All these years without a word! It’s so wonderful to hear your voice, finally!” Puzzled, she followed that with, “But why now? Why those first words?” she asked.

The boy shrugged. “Up to now, things have been okay.”

tinyfaery's avatar

I can’t even form words. What is the emoticon for eye roll?

Aster's avatar

@syz He did not say he’d have PTSD because of the cold milk. Of course he has no memory of it. Don’t judge what he says and worries about when you don’t know what he has been through his entire life. He has really suffered and had no childhood and few happy memories. But he is very well versed in drug terms since his life has been saturated with them.

gailcalled's avatar

^^^And this relates to your original question in what way?

jca's avatar

I guess I’m a lazy loser because my daughter liked cold milk and so she got cold milk.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Was the milk given to the baby breast milk or formula that was kept chilled, or was it plain pasteurized cow’s milk out of a carton? Mom decided to give me plain cow’s milk that was delivered back in the early ‘60s instead of nursing me like she did with the other siblings. It came straight out the refrigerator and poured into a baby bottle.

So far, I seem to have not suffered any ill side-effects from this choice. Once she found out that breast milk was a healthier option, she was mortified, but I hold no ill-will for her choice. I apparently drank what was offered and it kept me alive and healthy.

MollyMcGuire's avatar

I don’t guess it hurts anything. I always tried to feed my babies room temp food once I stopped nursing.

ucme's avatar

This question leaves me cold.

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