The Jelly Below Me #48?

TJBM refuses to eat shrimp because the look like grubs.

Ugh. I haven’t thought of that, but that’s not the reason I don’t eat shrimp.

TJBM was at the 90th percentile growing up.

True! (I couldn’t resist bragging THAT one up!) lol

TJBM eats rabbit.

Gladly, if youre inviting me to dinner! I used to, long ago, but I no longer have the availability. I refuse to pay gourmet prices for what we used to shoot in our back yard. I’d shoot ‘em myself, but somebody else would have to dress ‘em.
TJBM wants gravy with that

The TJBM thinks Canadian truck drivers are groovy.

This jelly has a passion for anything Canadian.

TJBM laughed when Bambi’s mother died.

Oh sorry broke one of the rules will try again,Oh no I didn’t she did a lot of damage to my hood of my rig.

False. I cried like a baby.

TJBM ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom this morning.

Well I finished a roll, but there was another one right there, so no problem.

TJBM has tasted coconut butter.

False, just now, I’m laughing that hard!
TJBM started to respond and forgot what they were going to say.

False.

TJBM was planning to write an answer to his own question, but I beat him to it.

OOOOPS! My last response was to @Juels We posted together

TJBM noticed that a new jelly changed horses in midpost and rode out of part 48

Jellies can ride? What do they ride, Seahorses?TJBM

My dogs just shredded a magazine, shall I use it in a recipe?

@Skylight Haha…I think you’re not catching on here. You are supposed to answer true/false expound a bit if you so desire and then posit a new Q. to the jelly below you. My Q. above was about you! lol Noticed you were posting then disappeared.

Ookay..I babble on….let’s start over.

TJBM is going to be TJAM the jelly above me

Nope! Tis I!

TJBM likes eating cereal straight from the pack (rather than in a bowl with milk)

True, ‘tis YOU my little puppy loving pal.
True again…I like dry cereal sometimes.

TJBM needs a massage

You bet I do, always my feet, Heaven!

TJBM has awesome boots.

Awesome ski boots that I haven’t had a chance to use in close to 10 years. I designed them myself. I wish I could show you the pictures.

TJBM likes sardines.

Not really. I used to love them as a kid but not so much now.
TJBM has his/her dog right next to them now.

One on one side on the floor and the other is three feet away waiting for me to open the door to go out.

TJBM has the dogs help to answer this question.
I do ! !

I would if I had one. Woof!

TJBM likes to walk in the rain.

False.
TJBM likes Canadian truckers.(think I did it right that time)

True, who doesn’t like big burly ice road truckers.

TJBM is a pervert. ;)

Am not!

TJBM is a pervert. We’ll just keep going till we find one, K?

Well sorta ,but just with Mrs Squeeky does that count??
TJBM likes to skinny dip.

I did when I did it but I don’t do it anymore so ditch dat.

TJBM likes perverts.

Nope. Not even a little bit.

TJBM is not a pervert (and wouldn’t admit it if they were). There. I bet that gets someone.

I’m not answering that! I’m not even here. Just ignore that person behind the curtain.

True, you’re wrong.

TJBM requires 2 friends to change a light bulb.

No, just one son or just one husband ‘cuz I don’t want to do it any more and why should I? They owe me, big time! (Plus standing on chairs and looking up really makes me dizzy any more. Don’t know why.)

TJBM is a chicken.

Only when my chicken suit isn’t at the cleaners!

TJBM has climbed to the top of a mountain and sat on the peak to eat lunch.

Hm….I didn’t take any food with me when I did that. But I did climb the mountain. I could see Seattle far, far in the distance and it had a faint, very pretty greenish glow around it. I don’t know how or why, but it IS called “The Emerald City.”

TJBM loves their toy box.

True,and you should see my toy box,he,he,he.
TJBM likes to cliff dive.

FALSE. I developed a decent fear of heights the age of 40 in Las Vegas.

TJBM has a an wearable article of double-knit polyester in their closet.

Quite a few actually.

TJBM is allergic to chocolate.

False. I lurve abbey to death.
TJBM once kicked a midget in the junk.

Yeah, but I had a damn good reason.

TJBM prefers desk top computers to lap tops.

True. My lap is hot enough…lets keep the computer on the DESK.

TJBM sausage to bacon.

Wrong! They are best together, with syrup!
TJBM wants a new life.

I’m glad you understood the question @Jonesn4burgers!

I’m happy with what I have, but I would like some adjustments. But that is up to me.

TJBM pancakes to French toast. I have no idea what that means. it was just an inspiration that came to me in a dream a minute ago.

Yes… yes… OH GOD YES!! * pants, heaves, pants *

TJBM can light my cigarette?

True. I don’t mind if you smoke, even if I personally quit 15 years ago. I have an ashtray right HERE.

TJBM prefers Mozart to Moby.

I don’t actually smoke, unless I’m on fire.

And I do, though that one radio hit from the 90s was quite catchy.
Also, I’m more of a Bach girl.

TJBM prefers root beer to beer.

False.

TJBM is dreading going to work tomorrow.

False I am dreading going back to work on Sunday because of the weather.
TJBM likes chocolate cream pie

I do. Which is why I avoid it every chance I get.

TJBM wants @ibstubro‘s ashtray.

For the Askville folks…I took a calculated risk mentioning pancakes….Be very careful using that word around here. Unless you like nekid people running amok. In the dark. With no clothes on.

I do – as a necklace. That’s really pretty.

And, I believe the pancake thread has determined that French Toast is a multiple O – so extra bonus.

TJBM is Flunkering tonight.

Hey, might as well get them all caught up on the terminology. Wine, anyone?

No, not yet Seek. Shell just run!

I do believe I am Flunkering tonight. Hubby out of town an all ;).

TJBM is getting ready to watch a cool Clint Eastwood/Orangutan movie from the 70’s.

I would so drink with you.
I think tonight is going to be some old Outer Limits stuff, since I have to WAIT until Doc Martin series 1 comes in. * grumble *

TJBM’s favourite Bond is Roger Moore.

Roger…? Oh, that bloke that played Sean Connery’s Bond character?

TJBM passes gas in the grocery when no one is around.

True and then waits until somebody is around.
TJBM invented the Slap Chop.

False. I broke the one we got. Didn’t take long, either.

TJBM has a bonifide food processor.

Yes, Dutchess, I have a classic Cuisinart, and I use it at least several times per week.

TJBM prefers the Veg-o-Matic. (I miss UHF television.)

My Veg-o-Matic is called a knife.

TJBM wears a sh*t eating grin, and little else to bed.

Oh @snowberry…you must stop peeking in my windows at night.

TJBM is working for the weekend.

False,already on my weekend my work week starts Sunday.
TJBM would like to work 4 on and 4 off like I do.

Yeah, that would work. But I’d really like an interesting job too.

TJBM hates all the stress and hoopla associated with the “holidays.”

Yup. I even make my family go Christmas shopping. I can’t stand it.

TJBM wears dentures.

Be true to your teeth, or they will be false to you!
False. I’ve been true to my teeth (and they’ve cost as much as a kid!)

TJBM wishes the circus was in town.

Nope. The circus makes me uncomfortable because my daughter wants to ride all the scary rides and assumes I am man enough to go with her.

The jbm has some awesome skill they are looking for an opportunity to brag about.

I just managed to pour Pinot Noir down my cleavage while trying to get the last bits of wine out of my Renaissance Faire-purchased booze crockery.

Huzzah!

TJBM has actual mad skills.

It is true. I am an actual a world renowned expert on drinking boob shots from nerdy, hyper intelligent women. It is kinda my super power.

TJBM will make this more family friendly

I can’t. I can’t get my mind off where I can get a bottle quick! These boobies havn’t shooted in a long time. Are we forming a line, or penciling in appointments?
TJBM wants a new duck

A trained Muscovy duck that does tricks please.

TJBM is on a diet.

Hey you guys, I feed a darling pair of Muscoveys along with my goose friends at a local park lake here. I want to duck and goosenap everyone! haha

TRUE! How’d ya know! I’ve been doing well except for a midnight weak moment a few days ago when I was up late and just couldn’t resist a midnight grilled cheese! lol

TJBM is a carb addict

Used to be. Every once in a while I have a cookie and am disappointed at the taste.

TJBM can easily go out sit on their roof. Through a window maybe?

False. I climb up on a corn bin.
TJBM has gingivitis.

False. I brush, floss, and mouthwash it up like a good girl.

The jelly below me wants to nurse my husband after his oral surgery tomorrow, so my kidney infection and I can have some alone time. ;)

For you yes,otherwise NO! I am not a nurse type, at all…well…I was as a mother, but now that I’m an old chick, no thanks…not interested in being a nurse with a purse to some old geezer. lol

TJBM likes to watch old re-runs of “Californias Gold” with the late Huell Howser

of course
TJBM wants to change countries.

False. The USofA is prosperity central and has all the major climate groups.

TJBM was born with a special quality.

Umh. Yes. But let me unravel it from all my other special qualities.
PASS.

True. Let me zip on by.
TJAM has retired to bed.
TJBM has worn a pair of underwear on their head, if only briefly.

True. I have retired to bed with my underwear on my head. No, I haven’t! It just rhymed so I went with it.

TJBM says it’s really, truly time for bed with NO underwear anywhere in sight! Not even on their husband’s butt, which is in their face, and such…

According to my watch (10:53 p.m.), it is normal for a lot of people to be ready for bed. Even me. Alas, I work the night shift and can’t go to bed until about 6 a.m. Yeah, sometimes I sleep commando, sometimes not.

TJBM has dreams on a regular basis everytime they go to sleep.

True!

TJBM talks in their sleep.

I did as a child. My daughter does now.
TJBM wants a lovely new dress.

False. I quit cross-dressing after I joined the military. They kind of frown on that type of behavior. Seriously though, I never wore a dress as a man but maybe I’ll buy one for my wife. Or my mistress.

TJBM is a big fan of Halloween and gets seriously involved in the costume aspects of the holiday.

nope, too lazy
TJBM rents from Blockbuster.

Nope, but ten years ago I rented from MEGAFLICKS. which was about two blocks from where I lived in Bayonet Point, FL. Don’t worry, after it closed, someone built a giant, bright purple porno shop even closer to my house. I could see it from my bedroom window.

TJBM has a favorite adult entertainment establishment.

Yes. I like my kitchen. There aren’t any kids around, so it’s an adult entertainment establishment (meaning we sit around, drink coffee and talk). It’s fun for old folks like me.

TJAM forgets things.
TRUE!
TJBM loves adventures in eating.

Ooops, I do, at that.

TJBM is forgiving and kind.

TRUE most of the time.
TJBM doesn’t want the NSA to spy on decent citizens of other countries.

true
TJBM wants to run for political office.

False. I was raised with, around and for political office holders, and it’s not a life for me.

TJBM harbors mistrust for snowmen.

Haha…false. I make miniature snowmen and shelve them in my freezer to take out in the summer and enjoy them. I am also a mean snow sculpturess, I make amazing deer and bears in 3D coming out of snowbanks. :-)

TJBM likes to sculpt

False , but I did like to play with clay as a kid.
TJBM is a do it yourselfer.

You’re gorram right I am. One of my biggest problems is storage space for all of my tools and crap.

TJBM would rather hire a guy.

True. We have a handyman that will do anything from replacing a window to building sheds for $10 an hour. You have to keep a guy like that busy.

TJBM remembers the taste of ear wax.

Or us either!

TJBM has a day off coming up soon.

True. Tomorrow is Saturday!

TJBM can recite the alphabet backwards in under 10 seconds.

(One of my useless mad skills. I keep hoping for a sobriety check. I could rock that one!)

No. Oh hail no.

TJBM could read Prince Bertrand The Bad backward before he or she could even read.

Never heard of it.

TJBM likes snakes.

Not really. My son is crazy about them. I can tolerate them as long as I don’t see them.

TJBM hates sleeping in so late.

My schedule is so weird that if I get ANY sleep that’s a good thing.

TJBM has eaten or knows someone who has eaten a live gold fish.

nope
TJBM has known somebody that has been flagpole sitting.

No sitting but I still have a vivid memory of sticking (my tongue) to a flagpole.

TJBM is driven MAD by slow drivers.

VERY true.
TJBM thinks 18wheelers are the biggest thing on the road,they don’t know about 2 trailers units called super trains that have 30wheels.

I’ve seen a semi pulling 3 trailers. And playing games with me. At night. With my 70 year old mother sleeping in the passenger seat. Does that count? (Scariest damn time on the road, ever.)

TJBM likes carbohydrates.

@Dutchess_III Mmmmmhmmmmm, bagels rock my face off. :)

TJBM is so mad right now it’s scary….

No. I’m just disgusted that I slept till 11.

TJBM will tell me why she is so mad.

I don’t get mad, and if I do, it’s not for long. The last time I did really get mad, it was at a doctor. I hate that I’m used to having medical people LIE to me! And I hate having to trust them with my life! There. I feel better for getting that off my chest.

TJBM is addicted to junk food.

True. I love barbecue chips and chocolate.

TJBM already has their Christmas tree set up.

Oh HELL no. I may be American, but I still separate my cultural observances into their traditional timeframes.

TJBM still believes in Santa.

Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I?

TJBM heard something truly funny today.

Not yet, but I’m waiting. So far it’s been a lot of sad stories. Maybe I need to get off of Fluther.

TJBM went Trick or Treating for Halloween.

Here’s one for ya @snowberry!

False. We didn’t even have trick or treaters come to the house. But, I wasn’t here so I don’t know.

TJBM usually has Thanksgiving at their house.

False. We always have Thanksgiving at my parent’s house

TJBM carved pumpkins this Halloween

Actually no, for the first time in a long time.
My best year, though, was the Eye of Sauron. I’m having a hard time finding a picture.

TJBM is addicted to sunflower seeds.

Not addicted, but I do like them.

TJBM leaves cookies and milk out for Santa.

false they are all for me.
TJBM prefers kittens over puppies.

False. Kitties are adorable but I’m more a dog person.

TJBM likes sushi.

No, I do not, Sam I Am. Especially not sushi topped with roach.

TJBM has been active on all 48 TJBM threads.

False. This is my first time. i think
TJBM made nasty backdoor whoopie with Regis Philbin.

EW!!! I did not!

TJBM is glad to have a snug warm house to live in.

Very true,and happy to have Mrs Squeeky to share it with.
TJBM has never heard of 5 pin bowling.

No, I haven’t heard of 5-pin bowling (I’d love to read a description and learn about it). But, I grew up in New England, where candlepin bowling ruled. Man, you really had to wind up and whale on those suckers! When I was a kid, most places had a Saturday morning TV show called “Bowling for Dollars.” In New England, it was “Candlepins for Cash.” I can even remember when Fenway Park had a streetfront bowling alley – the Kenmore Bowladrome – a candlepin emporium.

TJBM would rather be surfing.

I’m done surfing the Internet for now. LOL

TJBM needs to eat dinner.

No. I’m done eating for the day.

TJBM doesn’t watch TV during the weekday.

false. I watch TV whenever there’s a good show on.
TJBM observes their own Sabbath.

True. I don’t roll on Blondesjomer Shabbos.
TJBM has a nice marmot.

No. Those are mean critters.

TJBM has worn a mullet before, or knows someone who has.

False and false. They have always been in bad taste. lol

TJBM LOVES broccoli with cheese sauce

True. Well ”LOVES’ is a bit of a stretch, but I’ve had it twice this week.

TJBM has laughed liquid out their nose in the past week.

False. I had cheap booze make my eyes water this week.

The Jelly Bellow Me engaged in behavior way too immature for their age in the past week.

^ See my posts from last night. Haha.

TJBM has also cringed upon reading their past Flunker posts.

KInda yeah..I should never have gone done pedophile road. lol

TJBM just blew their diet and ate something off limits fuck it, it;s Friday! haha

What diet? The stress only made me hungrier. I’m better just trying to reduce my stress and hope things don’t get worse.
TJBM has been so tired they know that head in the bucket sound.

True! Ugh! Goin to bed at 9 tonight. Pffft.

TJBM has a nose ache

False,it’s a head ache.
TJBM likes playing chess.

False. I never learned how to play chess and it seems too complicated to me. I’m a Backgammon fan though.

TJBM is a procrastinator and substitutes doing chores with watching too much television.

Partially true. I am a procrastinator who doesn’t often do chores, but I substitute the internet.

TJBM is cold right now.

I’m always cold this time of year. I have a closet full of wool.

TJBM lives where it snows and loves it.

True, I live where it snows. False, I love it. True, I love watching fat, lazy flakes falling from the sky. False, I hate being bone cold, clearing the car. True, I love the insulated silence of being in a pristine white world. False, I fear driving on ice.

TJBM has rescued a bug.

True! Just yesterday, a tired Bumble Bee that bounced onto the deck. The cat was wanting to mess with it so I out it on a big red rose to rest or die. haha

TJBM thinks Gophers are adorable

Not really.

TJBM thinks that men exist to make women warm. I do, and it works.

False. Men exist to take out the trash. lol

TJBM is a dynamic force to be reckoned with

True. If I make it a mission, Katy bar the door!

TJBM has barred a door before.

Yes.

TJBM likes roller coasters.

True,just don’t get a chance to ride them anymore.
TJBM would like to try bungee jumping.

False. I considered it once because it looked fun but I started thinking clearly again and didn’t do it. I will try skydiving before I die though.

TJBM is a fan of at least one Pink Floyd song.

True..I love “The Wall” I was a 70’s teen, grew up on P.F. and all the other greats. :-)

TJBM has seen “Las Vegas” hilarious, gotta go!

False. I’ve not seen “Las Vegas”, but I’ve been to Las Vegas and rode every roller coaster there!

TJBM loves gooseberries.

I have never had them.

TJBM is getting used to seeing wild possums in their house.

<(Wondering…are there tame possums?)
(Why on God’s Green Earth would anyone tame a possum?)
(Could you train it to bite the end of a stick, and dust with it?)

Outside my house, not in my house. This isn’t Grey Gardens, after all. But, when I’m walking Sadie late at night, we do occasionally encounter a possum. If the little creature can’t scurry away quickly enough, it, well, plays possum.

TJBM wishes that the NBA would return to those little, tiny short-shorts of past decades. A little something for the ladies (or, for the guys; I’m cool with that).

No. No, I’m good without those funky little shorts on guys from the 70’s. I didn’t even like them then! (I have a horror story about a date I had in the 90’s involving those shorts…O, GROSS!)

TJBM is kind of afraid of having to get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom.

True…..for about 2 weeks after I saw the movie “The Exorcist” when I was a teenager. Scared the hell out of me and I didn’t like to do anything at night during that time.

TJBM has a tendency to raid the fridge late at night on covert snack runs.

False. I don’t eat much, and I honestly don’t ever remember raiding the fridge.

< (Thinks maybe God’s cat had a hairball, and created possums for Him.)

TJBM eats popcorn with a spoon.

True. And I first revealed that in this Fluther thread—-> What is the weirdest thing about you?

TJBM will try any type of food, no matter what it is, at least once.

TRUE! I love new things, especially foods. I might even try ‘fake calamari’, aka fried hog bungs, as heard on NPR. :-D

TJBM listens to NPR.

Occasionally. I loved Prairie Home Companion.

TJBM used to eat bugs when they were little.

False, but, I grew up on the original granola being a horsey kid. Sweet feed, aka, as C. O. B.
Corn, oats and barley sweetened with molasses. Yummy! Horses like it too. lol

TJBM has or had a horse

True, we had horses as kids.
TJBM Has always wanted to race dirt bikes.

True. When I was a kid, my brother and sister and I went together and bought a mini-bike. I loved it but not ½ as much as my sister or ¼ as much as my brother. lol

TJBM sucks Peanut M&M’s until the shell smooshes.

Can’t wait that long, I bite right into them.

TJBM is going to skip “Black Friday” and the sales after Thanksgiving.

Always…gah!

TJBM loves spicey rice crackers

Oooh. Yeah. Once it was only the little moon shaped ones. Later the seaweed crackers.

TJBM gets a kick out of commercials.

Depends on which commercials they are. They have to be pretty good ones like some of those shown during the Superbowl. I absolutely HATE the Progressive Insurance commercials with that idiot Flo and her stupid humor and script.

TJBM believes that today’s professional athletes are way overpaid.

True. I like watching Undercover Boss because they pay homage to regular people who work very hard and do a great job. I am impressed with people who are dedicated to excellence,on the job, not by jobs viewed by multitudes. I believe they should be paid well, but not in excess of any one nation’s gross income.
TJBM Has a favorite “Blankey”.

The one I’m under when a cool wind is blowing through the window!

TJBM is already starting to stress about Christmas. :(

Nope we have all the presents bought, we start in the early spring buying a gift at a time.

TJBM is going out for Thanksgiving and not cooking at their place.

I don’t know yet, but that really sounds like a good idea! We’ll see. There is something neat about having the family over to the house but…our house is so damn small. It sucks.

TJBM wishes they were as smart as @Tropical_Willie.

False. What a burden. ;-)

TJBM thinks that it’ll be cool when we finally have holiday goods in the stores, 24/7, 365.

IDK. I think it’ll be cool when the materialism of the holidays starts dying out….which ain’t gonna happen. I just thought of something @Tropical_Willie If I go out to eat on Thanksgiving, that puts a demand on other people to have to work on that day…

TJBM thinks it should be the law that ALL businesses excepts hospitals,-etc. are closed on Christmas and Thanksgiving and the day after Thanksgiving.

FALSE. Not only am I equal opportunity religious, I have made some DAMNED good money working the holidays, when I needed it most. Double time and a half is fought over.

TJBM has played a board game in the past month.

Not physically. I’ve been playing Words With Friends, which would be Scrabble IRL.

TJBM wants to play a board game IRL.

What is IRL? I played Risk today, and Monopoly this week, but it was on the xbox.
TJBM would rather watch cartoons than work on mondays.

IRL = “In real life” aka “Meatspace”.

I don’t watch cartoons much anymore, and I work from home now, so I’ll go with “no”.

TJBM actually loves their job.

Meatspace?

I don’t have a job. :( I used to love my job until my Boss completely lost her mind.

TJBM wants waffles right now!

Thou foul temptress!

TJBM would be just fine joining me in a cream-cheese and strawberry jelly sammich.

Hmmm…never tried that, but, sure, I’m bold and adventurous. lol

TJBM wants to go see a movie today but it is SO beautiful out they will feel guilty sitting in a dark movie theater instead of being active outdoors

False. I’m attempting to talk my husband into mattress shopping. I’m getting desperate.

The jelly below me also needs a new mattress.

No, I’m good with mattresses. Park his butt on the couch until he agrees to get a new mattress!

TJBM has issues everytime he or she want to make waffles! Apparently I’ve lost my electric beater for to stiffen my egg whites with. Of course, I don’t find this out until I have everything to ready to mix…..

False, I buy frozen waffles, which is next to never. I’m not really a breakfast person, coffee and a yogurt and granola bar or a bowl of cereal is about my speed.

TJBM is having a lazy Sunday morning

Pffffft! I wish! That was the plan but, at about 10 a.m., I got a wild hare to make waffles. One thing led to another…I didn’t eat until 3:00! The kitchen is a wreck…and my husband got a wild hare to fry chicken and mash potatoes tonight to add to the mess. Which I will ignore until tomorrow.

TJBM likes manipulating photos in Photbucket and other programs.

I have no clue.

TJBM is not a fan of…?

Hip hop and rap music, modern country, 99% of pop music, NuMetal, reality television, most American television and movies, and mediocre coffee.

TJBM is almost as big a snob as I am. ^_^

I am more agnostic than a snob. I don’t like most things, think people who like them are a little crazy, but am too lazy to actively dislike anything or care if other people enjoy it.

TJBM is obsessive about something that no normal person should care about.

Yes..but then, why be normal? I like what I obsess over and it doesn’t seem to be hurting anyone else that I need to scrub the sink out and leave it sparkling clean…

TJBM has already begun Christmas shopping.

False. I’m procrastinating.

The jelly below me will do a happy dance with me that my hubby agreed to a brand new mattress!!! It’s being delivered tomorrow, woohooooooooo!

Yaaay! For brand new mattresses! Sleep tight!

TJBM thinks maybe the mods are a little too persnickety sometimes.

@WillWorkForChocolate Well we know what you guys will be doing tomorrow night. lol

True, sometimes, but what do I really know? I haven’t been in “trouble” here since my first few months. I was given a 2 week suspension and have been able to behave myself since. Guess it worked. haha

TJBM is getting sleepy

Maybe.

TJBM Thinks life is too short to stay angry at anyone.

Nah. I believe that to a degree, depending on circumstances. I also believe life is too short to give people an opportunity to walk on me.

TJBM would take a trip into space if they could afford the fee.

Naw. The NSA would follow me there too! LOL

TJBM likes burnt toast.

False,just feel like burnt toast.
TJBM likes green olives on their sandwiches.

Ick, no.

TJBM woke up before it was light this morning.

True, but I think I must wake up about every 20 minutes or so.

TJBM has eaten a bug.

Yes! But not intentionally.

TJBM knows someone who has eaten a bug intentionally.

Yep. I hear they are slimy yet satisfying. (But I’ll pass all the same, thanks.)

TJBM saw a coyote this morning.

False, but I saw a squirrel fall out of a tree. lol It was chasing another squirrel around a huge pine tree and when it went to jump to another tree branch it fell about 8 feet into some ivy. haha
It was fine.

TJBM has no patience with anymore with old people and whiney kids

I have more patience with old people, the older I get. I probably couldn’t have less patience with whiny kids. Or adults.

TJBM has cross dressed.

Um, well. I’m a girl. Can girls cross-dress?

TJBM says it’s going to snow.

False! Snow is something I could happily witness on television alone for the rest of my days, so NO SNOW.

Sure, girls can cross dress. Pull on a tux.

TJBM calls duct tape “Oklahoma Chrome”.

Nope, I call it the “Handyman’s Secret Weapon”.

TJBM knows that anything can be fixed with a hammer, duct tape, or super glue.

If I put on a tux it would be assumed I am a show girl, not a cross dresser.

You forgot “staples.” But yep, they can fix anything, including gaping wounds. And if it can’t be fixed using that, it ain’t worth fixin’.

TJBM thinks everyone needs to start setting examples of behavior for the rest of society to emulate.

Tralse. I hold myself to a high standard, and that’s all I can really do

(Decidedly not a showgirl)

TJBM weeps easily.

Only over animal cruelty, humans, meh, they bring on most of their own stuff. haha

TJBM is an animal lover

Oh, I like ‘em OK, but I wouldn’t say I love them. Not like my husband does!

TJBM has no desire to cross dress.

Not really. I prefer feminine clothes generally although every so often I tom-boy it up.

TJBM has eaten an apple today.

No. I ate garlic bread and chocolate and now I don’t feel good.

TJBM is tired of people telling her how she feels about things.

That used to be a problem, but no more.

TJBM thinks their computer has malware.

Maybe.. there is this one email newsletter I get nearly daily and every time it hits my inbox a message pops up saying that my web browser is attempting to access an intranet site, would I like to block it? That seems not right.

TJBM is feeling inspired to write.

True . . .

TJBM has rickets.

I don’t know, maybe hiding under the extra 30 lbs. on my ass this year. lol

TJBM is trying to get in shape again as a middle ager…pffft!

Yep. Multiple knee problems, including surgery for a meniscal tear, broke my once-regular and rigorous exercise regimen. Now, I’m just plain lazy; once you stop working out, it’s difficult to get to the gym and back into a routine. I come up with excuses such as, “But I have all this laundry to do,” or, “It’s 2:30 pm. Time to start preparing dinner.”

TJBM bites his/her fingernails.

I did, until I started wearing acrylics to prevent me from doing so.

The jelly below me wants to come over for taco night and new mattress party! (We have to jump up and down on the new mattress for two hours, whilst drinking champagne and flipping pancakes, to break it in, ya know.)

Oh I am so in.

I don’t even have a contribution to the thread, I just want in on the booze and jumping and pancakes.

I want nekkid pancakes . . . YAH ! ! Jumping on bad knees not so much.

TJAM ^ ^ ^ ^ didn’t do a TJBM

But the TJBM doesn’t care.

nobody is going to bring up the logistics of jumping up and down vigorously on a mattress after tacos?!?

True, I won’t bring it up, but…

TJBM jumps up and down on their mattress after drinking 4 Tsing Taos

False. Jumping up and down is Tigger’s preview.

TJBM cracks and eats hard shell nuts.

Oh gosh yes! I love walnuts but especially the english walnuts. I REALLY wish I could get hickory nuts. I haven’t had any for a very last time and I LOVE them.
TJBM is going to overlook that I can’t figure out what the dealio is about pancakes, and either tell us all or PM me.

I don’t know. But I’ll fix you some if you want them. What kind of syrup works for you?

TJBM is bald!

Yes I am and bald is beautiful! (I got sick of getting haircuts every 2 to 3 weeks to satisfy military standards. And I save a fortune on not having to buy shampoo)

TJBM is a germophobe and uses hand sanitizer religiously.

Nope. Germs help the immune system, unless yours is already so compromised you should live in a bubble.

TJBM is allergic to wool.

False. I’m not allergic to anything that I know of.

TJBM has tickets. Wait…was that just asked above?

Ha! I have a couple.

Actually, the hubs’ band is opening for a national act on the 30th, and I have my ticket to the show hiding in my sewing table, in case they sell out and he decides to sell/give away my ticket to someone else.

TJBM hates hunting for babysitters.

Nope. I’m Waaay past that stage, and I only found a dependable babysitter a few times anyway (dependable meaning someone who’d even think about coming). Other than that we used Grandma.

TJBM won’t use artificial sweeteners.

I like Splenda, but usually just use sugar.

And there are no grandmas. His lives in Illinois, mine is busy fattening up a small Dutch boy in a gingerbread house somewhere.

TJBM has a favourite local band.

I do, by default. The father of my oldest Granddaughter has always had a band of one sort or another. Used to be GreenDay. Right now I think they’re called Linnabary Wine. They do a lot of 70’s, CCR, that kind of thing. Harley (Boo’s dad) is really very good, but is still a wannabe at 36.

TJBM wishes it was warm all year around.

False. I hate the heat, 5 months of it is more than enough for me. I’d like to live somewhere where the maximum temps. never get about 85.
It is still warm and dry here in NorCal, desperately need rain.

TJBM is savoring their morning coffee right now

No, done had coffee, working on my first Diet Coke.

TJBM has electronic crap spread all over their desk.

False. No desk just my library table and laptop with a bamboo runner, a magnifying glass, several receipts, a wicker lamp and naked head hunter guy statue. lol

TJBM wants a naked headhunter

Hmmm, nekkid wit pancakes. (I’m hiding!).

TJBM is a theist.

No, I’m not. Kind of wish I was. Used to be though. PUT YER CLOTHES ON ETHEL!!

TJBM’s computer has been hacked before.

Possibly. My debit card was hacked once. Took a lot to convince Visa that I had indeed not withdrawn three grand from various ATMs across New York City, as I had not set foot on Manhattan Island since I was 12 years old. “But according to our records you used to live there”. Yeah. In 1993.

TJBM plans to shop small and local businesses for holiday gifts.

Somewhat. Unfortunately there aren’t many small business left since Walmart showed up, and those that are here are really expensive. But I won’t shop Walmart if I can help it either.

TJBM is so glad for internet shopping and shipping.

GAWD YES! Reduced mobility being a harsh issue for me, shopping is tough. I think I’m in love with my guy in the brown truck!
TJBM has a Christmas nightmare in their past.

Mmmm yeah, actually. I was really really sick, in the hospital for two weeks last November, spent all of December recovering. I had actually been sick for several months prior to that, just didn’t know it. I wasn’t myself and I lost control of a lot of our finances during that time. It was a mess. My husband took it upon himself to take out a “90 day note” for $2000 before Christmas to use FOR Christmas. I would have vetoed that had I been my normal self. We’re STILL paying it off. So that was kind of a nightmare for me.

TJBM has given a gift to someone (Christmas or otherwise) and had that person sniff in disdain or express obvious dislike over the gift you gave.

Probably, but if I do, I can’t think of any.

TJBM is ready for cold weather (Brrrrrr)!

I am never ready for cold weather. The only time I’m good with it is in the evenings, with a cold north wind beating on the house, and me all curled up by the fireplace (or warm under comfy blankies.)

TJBM will not be participating in Black Friday.

Never have; have no intention of starting now!

TJBM doesn’t like marshmallows.

I don’t mind them. I won’t go out of my way to eat them, but they have their uses.

TJBM still uses recipes or cooking tips he or she learned from their mom or dad.

Yes. My mom always puts a little sugar in tomato sauce and taught me the same. I also make a good soup she always made me.

TJBM hates tomatoes.

False. Tomatoes are the basic building blocks of culinary life.

TJBM got a jumbo crayon stuck in their nose as a kindergartener.

No. I wasn’t a nose kid.

My brother, however, was in the hospital four separate times – peas, raisins, Lucky Charms and… I forget the fourth one.

My son stuck a transparent red Lego up his nose just before his third birthday. THAT was a fun trip to the Urgent Care center. The best part might have been the fact that they remembered him as Fishtank Boy

TJBM has a child with a nickname given to them by a local physician.

Not a physician, but my son’s PE teacher named him The Choker in 7th grade. He lost his temper at another kid and started choking him. I don’t understand it, but three it is.

TJBM wishes they sold smaller cans of certain foods, like refried beans.

No, I don’t care.

TJBM wants to know the backstory of Fishtank boy!

The link is a picture of the fish tank my son broke, with his head, when he was 18 months old.

It left just a tiny cut between his eyebrows, and all the fish survived.

I took him to the urgent care center anyway, and they did an X-ray to make sure nothing was broken.

No one could believe he was completely unharmed – and apparently it was shocking enough that they remembered it a year later.

TJAM

Is the same as

TJBM.

Nope. Well yes, and no.

TJBM has many pets.

Nope, none. I have no pet.

TJBM was raised to be racially insensitive.

I probably was, but it’s not played out that way.

TJBM thinks this is awesome (really, take a few minutes and click around)!. http://www.spudstravels.com/ This one cracks me up… http://www.spudstravels.com/Travel%20Archive/travelarchiveframe.htm

Haha…true, funny. I once Beavernapped a stupid ceramic Beaver my ex in-laws had in their yard and we sent ransom notes with the Beaver bound and gagged. Completely led them astray and they were convinced it was another family member. lol

TJBM has been to Beaver Utah all the rrads are paved in red asphalt from the local red rock, it’s the red road to beaver haha

I have blessedly never been anywhere in the Land of Weak Beer.

TJBM still doesn’t have a passport.

Yes!

TJBM likes turnips!

False, I do not like Turnips, but..I do have a passport, anyone want to run away with me? lol

TJBM chews bubble gum

No. It sticks to my teeth.

TJBM is hungry. What ‘cha eatin’? Can I have some?

True! I JUST made a snack of swiss cheese, red grapes and a piece of french bread. haha

TJBM is a cheeseaholic

Who am I to dis a brie?

TJBM would like a helping of my homemade chicken stew?

Ohhh, yes! Thank you.

TJBM can eat anything and not gain weight.

Hah…in my dreams, I have to work really hard to keep my girlish figure which is not so girlish right now lol

TJBM loves satin comfortors

Actually, I prefer a military down filled mummy style sleeping bag. They are so super warm! I fell in love with them during my navy years when I had to use one on duty nights. I had to spend the night on board my assigned craft, and sometimes they wer under repairs during the winter, which meant no heat. I could sleep skinny in my mummy bag, during winter on the east coast, and still stay so toasty warm i had to unzip it for a couple of hours before the night was over/
TJBM has never slept on a boat (Or ship)

False. They honeymoon of my second marriage was a 7 day Carnival Cruise in the Caribbean.

TJBM has difficulty sleeping while travelling on aircraft.

Who would want to? I love plane rides! – I grant i’ve never been on one longer than a few hours.

TJBM is afraid of flying

False. Although, I’ve had a fear of heights since Las Vegas, I still love flying.

TJBM is a fan of Louis Comfort Tiffany.

Yes, wish I had my aunt’s dining room chandelier. A Tiffany from the 1915 or just before WWI.

TJBM is completing a shopping list to go out shopping.

TRUE! I happen to be on-line shopping for Coke, and I’m headed to the outlet food store for crab meat at the amazing price of $5 a pound!

@Tropical_Willie chat me up about LCT some time!

TJellyBN is full of beans!

LOL…I was, yesterday, had lunch at the BEST Mexican Place ever.

TJBM is full of coffee right now

False. Maybe Diet Coke and water, but not coffee.

TJBM still loves some of the stuff their mom used to feed them, like bread smothered with chicken gravy.

^ That sounds yummy, but my mom was a godawful cook. I took over that job as soon as I was tall enough to reach the back burner while standing on a step-stool.

TJBM would consider egging the school board building if their child was forced to sit outside on the ground for an hour because they couldn’t schedule a substitute bus driver. And they might consider mailing them a box of dog poop if the school didn’t bother to call the parents to let them know their kids would be an hour late coming home.

Well, yeah I would!

TJBM doesn’t have as much faith in those who are supposed to be taking care of our kids as he or she used to.

You can fucking say that again.

TJBM has a funny story they can share to take my mind off my homicidal raging.

Go to my timeline on fb. Look down until you see a story about a basement. There are three pictures attached, one of a teenager, one of a little boy, and one of some evil basement steps. Try that. :)

TJBM needs to take a shower.

Ha! I was reading that during the hour I spent sitting in the grass at his bus stop. It was quite funny. Also, I want a magic curtain.

Ian had a short phase of being afraid of his room. After doing everything I could to draw out what he was actually afraid of, and working with logic to show him that the dark room is the same as the light room, and you can keep the red light on anyway, and blah blah blah… I finally gave him this old bottle of Avon perfume, and told him it was Anti-Monster Mist, and it would make all the scary things go away if he sprayed it three times.

I think I smelled that awful smell four times. The bottle still sits on his nightstand, but he’s not afraid of his room anymore.

And yes, I do need a shower.

TJBM has used “magic” items to appease their children’s fears.

False. I methodically beat their fear out of them.

TJBM is a Bronie.

No. I know some though.

TJBM doesn’t like watermelon.

False. I like it.

TJBM has magic things around their house for the little grandkids.

nope
TJBM is tempted to remove money from the collection plate.

No. However, it’s been years since I’ve been in a place with a collection plate.

TJBM wants a trained German Shepherd.

^ Yes! When the hubs and I finally get a place with a fenced-in yard, we’re hoping to get a Shepherd. Or a labrador. I’ve disallowed any more “violent” breeds, because my quasi-logical paranoia is strong. But Shepherds are great with kids.

TJBM is more a cat person.

Shepherd. Labs will eat your yard. Literally. Do not get a lab.

Yes I am more of a cat person.

TJBM hates feeling really full after eating.

Yes, I get a stomach ache and I have to put on sweatpants!

TJBM likes snakes.

I’m not a snake lover, but I’m not a hater either. Live and let.

TJBM toasts both sided of both pieces of bread for a grilled cheese sandwich.

I was not aware that you could do it any other way. And you butter the bread not the godd*mn pan.

TJBM wonders how grown adults out of college find drugs to take, because they think that is only something younger people know.

False. I’m in Illinois and a judge was given 18 months for crack. His investigation started when a fellow judge died at his place earlier this year of heroin. The supplier was a former probation officer. I suppose in Illinois, being in the field of law and order is as good a way to procure drugs as any.

TJBM can stand on their head.

Not anymore, but I used to be able to. I suppose I could, if there is a wall to prop my feet against. Shit..getting older sucks. lol

TJBM makes a mean blackberry pie I do, I do

Alas, I cannot cook or bake to save my life. Although a slice of pie sounds nice, right about now.

TJBM prefers ethnic cuisine when dining out as opposed to mainstream American dishes.

Oh yes. I live for Asian food. Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, Indian… Om nom nom nom…

TJBM wishes they had a Japanese grandmother to teach them how to cook, too.

I have the next best thing. My daughter lives in Japan. So far she’s taught me how to make omletto (no idea how you spell that). It’s basically an omelet over rice with some sort of sauce. The sauce is what makes it, and there are a variety of sauces. Apparently it’s a comfort food there.

TJBM has been to Japan.

False,just across Canada.
TJBM has never sat in a semi truck.

true
TJBM has appeared in a newspaper or a magazine.

True!

My friends and I were playing at the beach during a hurricane. Don’t try that at home, kids.
The boardwalk we were standing on, feeling the waves come in, was gone the next morning.

TJBM has done something crazy during a storm.

Yeah ,snow storm couldn’t see five feet in front of the truck.
TJBM can’t drive a standard transmission vehicle.

True. I learned years ago but was terrible then and now I don;t even remember WTH…. lol

TJBM has or has had a pet parrot

Only a parakeet.

TJBM needs to get off the computer and go to work.

True. Not to work so much as just get BUSY.

TJBM is a pack rat.

true
TJBM couldn’t be bothered with cleaning his room.

Well, I need to do it again. My side, anyway.

TJBM is behind on some bills.

True. My car insurance is a day or two over, strictly out of procrastination.

TJBM eats breakfast, lunch and dinner, every day.

False. I eat a brunch at about 11, and a “dinner” at about 3:00, then I’m done for the day.

TJBM wishes someone would just come clean their house.

False, cleaning relaxes me. I know, I’m weird.

TJBM plays Candy Crush Saga.

no way
TJBM would frost their cake with marmite.

I have no idea what marmite is, but I’ll try anything once.

TJBM would like to hire @Valerie111 to clean their house.

Certainly. I hate to do housework and other related chores.

TJBM has enjoyed room service at a nice hotel or resort on at least one occasion.

True I used to live a couple of blocks from a vacation casino hotel. I visited frequently,and had a membership, which is free. Every year on my birthday they gave me a free room or suite for a couple of nights, usually including a free tournament or complimentary gambling credit at least one of my meals, stuff like that. pool was heated year round geothermic. NICE.

TJBM has never been to a casino.

False. I’ve been to a number of casinos, and they bore me to tears.

TJBM has eaten a squirrel.

Not that I know of…but ask me about that raw horse I ate one time.

TJBM is so hungry they could eat the butt out of a skunk.

False at least right now.
TJBM thinks it takes a great deal of skill to back up 2 semi trailers at once.

I can hardly walk in reverse. So mad props to anyone who can do that without jack-knifing themselves over a cliffside.

TJBM has appeared in porn.

Haha…not on film, but I have been a porn star in my intimate relationships. Oh to have my adorable young womans bod again pffft! lol

TJBM thinks the new restaurant trend of serving offal is awful

offal, noffal. IF they’ll eat it, WHO CARES?

TJBM thinks big thoughts.

I…LIKE…BIG…THOUGHTS…........AND I CANNOT DENY… THAT WHEN AH GET TA THINKIN’.......AH DON’T NEED NO HEAVY DRINKIN’....JUST LET THOSE HEAVY THOUGHTS FLO…......JUST GO! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I had to.

thejellybelowme doesn’t know the beat to rap this to.

Please. I’m a 90s kid. I know every word.

TJBM knows the Thriller dance.

Ummm… I know parts of it. Does that count?

The jelly below me likes big butts and they cannot lie.

Yes, it’s sort of a family motto.

TJBM needs to make their butt less big.

True, workin’ on it, but right now I’m sittin’ on it. lol

TJBM is over 50 and fighting middle age butt spread

Guilty as charged!
TJBM would like to bring in a happier subject than my enormous kiester!

Sure, let’s discuss the glory and divinity of the almighty cheeseburger!

The jelly below me has experienced a tonguegasm when eating certain foods.

I had a lobster burrito recently. Oh. My. Gaaawd!

TJBM likes fish tacos

Love them, we make our with talipia. cubed and fried with flour / corn starch mix and lots of chili powder.

TJBM is going to have fish for dinner or lunch today.

Well…now that you mention it…I might just have to go for some shrimp, french bread and spinach dip. Pffft….it’s Friday, fuck the diet. lol

TJBM loves french bread and spinach dip

TRUE.
TJBM likes Mcdonalds but doesn’t want anybody to know.

I like it and I don’t care who knows. Except my boyfriend. I don’t want him to know!!

I had one of the Southwest chicken wraps the other day, pretty damn good. Hanging head in shame. lol

@Leanne1986 You forgot the TJBM so I shall take over. haha

TJBM had shredded wheat for breakfast

No, I had PANCAKES….AW,SNAP! Gawt em frum mu frizzer.
TJBM likes fruit on their pancakes, but not frum the frizzer :0

OMG. You said that word. I’m running away for a while.

TJAM should come back. I’m sorry my post upset you.
TJBM forgives me? I was having fun, but not now. I feel left out that I wasn’t here for history making, but it’s history.

U silly goose! It’s just that when you see the P word, everyone takes off their clothes and runs around nakid and screaming! WITH the lights ON!

No, I don’t like fruit, or shells, on my pancakes.

TJBM has discovered the wonderous joys of the Frizzer Thread!

Long ago in a place far . . . .

TJBM thinks we should look under the pool. ;>)

Yes, quickly or shell just run!

TJBM wishes God would open that thread back up….or…..we could start a new one with the same title and details! Like a TJBM thing!

The Frizzer is one of the top three questions here. Ever. CIA is another one. And the third one is Vagina Nose. :D

The jelly below me is a sweet newb who will now go do a Fluther search on Vagina Nose.

Well, true and false. I’m not a newbie but I have never heard of Vagina Nose! Do I really want to go look??

TJBM says Fluther is still full of [REDACTED]

Full of JELLIES! pant pant. Didn’t know running nekid was a requirement. Got slapped in the face so hard I nearly lost consciousness.
Maybe what I just posted in social under candy will evolve that direction.
Vagina nose? I was in the navy, never heard of any sailers coming down with that. Sounds serious.
TJBM has taken medication for vagina nose, which didn’t help, resulting in surgery. (Stu?)

No, it turned out I was having a baby.

TJBM has only found one reference to “vagina nose,” but lots and lots of questions about vaginas and now their eyes hurt.

TJAM can look in meta for the recent question about Fluther memes for a link to vagina nose.

What about me?

TJAM forgot about me, TJBH.

And what about me??
TJBM wonders how many responses this question will receive before it dies out.

No. This is incarnation #48. This question was first asked in, like 2010. See here. IT WILL NEVER DIE!!!

TJBM doesn’t know what a DWAGON is either.

True, I do not, but I did learn about anal bleaching today, I am forever scarred. WTF! lol
TJBM bleaches their anus Now, I too, must run away from this horror.

Dwagon

Oh God @Coloma. I’m having the worst day. I learned about Vagina Nose and now anal bleaching and all within the last 5 minutes.

TJBM thinks they should take their dwagon and go home.

True, to the land of make believe where their is no anal bleaching because nobody has an anus. lol

TJBM must say goodbye now gotta run, byyye, see you lateeer!

No way! I’m having the time of my life. There has been more ridiculous banter today. I have laughed so much today I think I twisted something.
TJBM wears a uniform to work,

We can be goofy, fasure! Bless our hearts.

False. Well, I don’t have a job, but when I did it was business casual.

TJBM is ready for bed and it’s only 4:30 p.m.

False. I’m ready for bed, and it’s only 5:30 PM.

TJBM wonders why people “friend” someone on Facebook just to start a fight, then whine when they’re virtually pimp-slapped across the face.

I haven’t experienced that.

TJMB is waiting for a TV show to begin.

False. I have not had a TV channel since the 1990’s.

TJBM admits to having kissed a girl and made her cry.

False. I almost kissed a girl when we were both married. I said we can’t do this, both of us have people who count on us. She said you are right, and this isn’t the first time you made me cry.

TJBM is about to tell an awesome story

Only if you want to hear a horror story about winter driving in a semi truck.
TJBM thinks the sound of a Expresso martini sounds really good.

Ummmm…no. lol
I’ll take my expresso and martinis separately thanks.

TJBM had the most amazing mexican food for lunch

Nope, just a Frisco melt. I’ll take an espresso cocktail, though (I will NOT call it a “Martini”. A Martini is Gin, Dry Vermouth, and exactly three Big Damn Olives. One can also make a Martini with Gin and Vodka, dry and sweet Vermouth and lemon peel, but only if one is James Bond.)

TJBM will share their favourite cocktail recipe.

I am partial to champagne cocktails. ⅔rds good champagne, ⅓rd raspberry juice and fresh raspberries floating with a lime twist on the side. Oh man….happy times! lol

TJBM likes pretzels with creme cheese

Why, yes, creme cheese and pretzels is great!

TJBM thinks sausage is gross.

True, I do, and especially the neon yellow sausage served to me on an Air China flight a few years ago. I fear it was made from a little yellow doggy. lol

TJBM found a bag of pistachio nuts today. I did, I did, unopened and shelled in a grocery cart…score. lol

Unfortunately, I did not. And I love pistachio nuts.

TJBM likes walnuts and fruit (such as Blackberries or Blueberries) in their oatmeal…...providing they eat oatmeal.

I love walnuts with fruit, but not my oatmeal. I love fruit with my oatmeal, usually raisins, or banananananas, fresh raspberries from my back yard, craisins.

TJBM reads on their toilet.

False. I’m never there that long. There was a whole thread dedicated to this question a while back.

TJBM is afraid of Head Cheese, whatever it is.

Yum. Head cheese topped with a thick slab of blood sausage! says the vegetarian facetiously Chitlins, anyone?

TJBM drools.

Well,only when I’m not feeling well in my sleep.
TJBM likes pink puffy slippers.

No. I ain’t no ballerina! Give me my fluffy, dangerous leopard spotted slippers any day.

TJBM REALLY wants to hear a story about a trucker and ice and winter, too!

A trucker named Squeeky. Trying to wrap my mind around this. “Breaker breaker. lookin’ for that old Squeeky. You out there Squeeky? Got us a bit of a situation. 10–10 on the side, waitin’ for Squeeky.

We don’t do the breaker,breaker type talk any more since we don’t use CB radios,the drivers up here use VHF radios they transmit almost 10 times further than a CB.

Our type talk would go like this,( SQUEEKY you on this channel?)get the idea?
TJBM thinks truckers are crazy,for driving on some of the road conditions that we do.

I think EVERYONE is crazy for driving on the road conditions we have, especially in Oklahoma.

TJBM gets frustrated with drivers who don’t alter their speed or anything during bad weather conditions.

False

TJBM has a Tear in their beer.

No, no tear in my beer! Just gluten and stuff.

TJBM loves it when a car blows past them doing 90, when it’s icy and crappy out, then sees that same car a couple miles on down the road, off in a ditch.

As long as I don’t know the idiot, I’m fine.
TJBM wants to do this: https://plus.google.com/u/0/photos/114853458007065354930/albums/5945806803555310625/5945806810306221298

LOL @reijinni Was it a Weight Watchers meeting room, or what? I AM that jelly!

TJBM takes pleasure in the misfortune of others.

No, well….maybe a little bit if it was my jackass ex husband, he moved to Texas, so I figure the devil is right at home. “Houston, we have a problem ” Not my problem anymore. lol

TJBM has a problem

YEAH,I HATE the stupid drivers on icy roads.
TJBM has a hard time getting motivated in the morning.

Nope. I was up and out the door before sunrise to volunteer with my youngest son today.

TJBM has a hobby they only do in fall/winter.

Not unless you count feeding the woodland critters through the cold and snow. The turkeys have gotten kind of militant about having corn out for them. We try to make it fun, for us and them. Sometimes I fill ice cream cones with a mixture of corn meal and butter, then stab them onto the ends of low, bare branches. The deer love finding those.
TJBM has known the romantic joy of horseback riding in the snow. If not, they should give it a go. Not just snow on the ground, but while big, slow, lazy flakes fall.

False. I want to move to AZ and instead of a fake fireplace in the winter, have holographic snow for the window. Turn the AC down, turn the snow on, put on a sweater and have a cup of eggnog. Get up the next morning and put all that crap away for another 364.

TJBM has made and eaten snow ice cream.

Yes! Well, my Dad did. I need to find a recipe. When Dad made it we had to collect the snow. He cautioned us not to collect yellow snow. And my dad didn’t make it. Mom made it. But it was Dad’s idea. So he gets all the credit. The 60’s sucked for women!

TJBM has made homemade ice cream with Milky Way bars.

False. I have no distinct memory of making ice cream. Only a vague recollection of hand churning.

snow + sugar + milk = snow ice cream. Flavoring (it’s a sin not it use almond) optional

TJBM enjoys a nice piece of burnt toast, now and then.

Um….no. I have this little thing about ingesting carcinogens….it’s no bueno.

TJBM has an unwavering desire to barbecue steaks or chicken at least once a month.

Well, having them, yes both, but I don’t have a grill.

TJBM would just go next door when the neighbors are gone and use their grill.

False. My neighbors are little old nosey ladies, the only thing they grill is the local gossip mill. lol

TJBM HATES nosey old folks

I hate nosey any folks (old) has nothing to do with it.
TJBM wants a Rum and coke.

Sounds great, but it’s only 9 AM, so I’ll stick with coffee for now.

The jelly below me has jumped on a trampoline.

I loved jumping on a trampoline as a kid!

TJBM hates haters.

That seems like a lot of hate. I avoid haters. I dispute them, I resent them. I miss being able to play on a trampoline.

TJBM has stolen something from a neighbor as a child.

I used to steal from the grocery (for some reason I have a vivid memory of stealing a block of cheddar cheese), but we had no neighbors.

TJBM has had a dry roasted peanut in their nose.

False, but…I did get a pussy willow bud stuck in my nose as a kid, long story, but one should not use their nostrils as pea shooters. lol

TJBM has a fun lunch date with friends today

Well…no. Watching foot ball and eating waffles with my husband.

TJBM is going to the Doctors tomorrow because they can’t take this anymore!

Take what? Do you have a waffle or a football stuck in a body cavity?

TJBM hates syrup

false ,LOVE,LOVE real maple syrup.
TJBM sometimes puts peanut butter on their waffles.

I LOVE syrup, on bacon, on sausage, on ice cream, on PANCAKES! o_O

TJBM wants butter with that!

Oh yes! Smothered with warm, melty real butter and home made syrup. When you’re gonna do it, do it RIGHT!

TJBM suddenly got really hungry and decided to go off their diet until after breakfast.

Pffft! I’ve been off my diet since Friday afternoon and today I am having mexican food and beer for lunch with friends.

TJBM has a trauma food they refuse to eat. Mine is creamed corn

Yes…mine is corned beef in cheese sauce. It just looks and tastes so nasty, but my Dad loved it so we had it once in a while whether we needed it or not. Dad always called it SOS. It did not HELP when he eventually told us what SOS was. At the dinner table. With a pile of that steaming crap in front of me!

TJBM has been traumatized by something being explained to them.

Potted Meat.
Factory farmed animals

TJBM can tell a funny joke in less than 4 sentences.

What did the fish say when he swam into the concrete wall? Dam!
(There! Broke my own record!)

TJBM just heard an urban legend that new appliances and stuff come with instructions.

If they do, my husband never learned to read them! Bazinga!

TJBM has a partner who leaves the finer duties – like assembling bicycles – to them, as well.

No, the hubs is a mechanic. I just offer insightful suggestions as he’s working, which he really appreciates whether he knows it or not.

TJBM has a parther who leaves the finer duties—like cleaning the floor around the toilet, on their hands and kneeswith a wash cloth, where a mop won’t reach—to them.

Yes, actually. However, if I didn’t live here, he’d do it himself (I think).

TJBM is blonde.

False. But, I believe I could play one on TV!

TJBM believes moonshine should be legal.

Ew. No. Why would I want that?

TJBM thinks some foods should be illegal because they’re just nasty, liked chipped beef in cheese sauce, aka, SOS. With good reason.

True, that hideous invention of your father should be outlawed for sure!

TJBM loves champagne

No! I hate fizzy anything.

TJBM does like fizzy stuff.

True, champagne, soda, but not alka seltzer. lol

TJBM likes ginger snaps

I don’t think I do, but then again, I don’t think I’ve ever had them.

TJBM likes sherbet ice cream after eating jalapeno poppers.

And who doesn’t?
TJBM wants the day off tomorrow.

Oh yes, today is my only day off, savoring the last couple hours before bed. lol

TJBM wishes they were a somebodies pet

Um, watching my twin grandbabies with their awesome Mom makes me wish I was a baby. Just get carried around, do what you want, fed when you open your mouth, sleep when you get tired, no worries. I wish I was a baby.

TJBM wonders how anyone can get so involved in a sport on TV that they lose their religion (metaphorically speaking.)

Ugh, so true!

TJBM had a really fun day

Naw, but we got a lot done, and that counts for something.

TJBM is out of time. For what?

I am. I don’t know.

TJBM thinks the more refined we get as a society, the more allergic we get.

I do. Too many chemicals that we know too little about. I’m also wondering if it doesn’t have something to do with the prevention of childhood disease.

TJBM owns at least one item over 100 years old.

True, my china hutch.

The jelly below me has fuzzy houseshoes.

Fuzzy on the in side only. They’re shearling wool.

TJBM needs to go back to bed.