Help a homeless guy or leave him alone?

Help him.

Why? Because he’s a human and deserves compassion.

Should you be the one to help him? I don’t know. I don’t know what aid you could offer him.

If you feel secure, you might try talking to him. Ask him if he wants you to look up a homeless shelter for him. Your talking to him might be the only interaction he has with another person all day. Most people who live on the streets are utterly ignored.

Personally, I give money to beggars and homeless people. I don’t care what they spend the money on. If they buy booze, so be it. If they buy food, so be it. It’s not my place to judge.

If you live in an area with resources to help the homeless, call them and ask them what you can do for him.

Finally, if he is a genuine threat to your safety, call the police.

^^^ Exactly what he said.

This man is no threat to you whatsoever. There is very little you can do for this man personally. Many homeless are turned away from services, for a variety of reasons. Some are turned away for intoxication, depends on their rules. Some are turned away because the shelter is full. Some have been barred for stealing, violence, and other rules broken. Some homeless won’t go to a shelter because they fear the control, or crowds, Many people are homeless because programs to house mentally ill have lost funding, and have to turn out people who are unable to meet shelter guidlines. You might see if he knows where he can go to get something to eat. If this guy has chosen your doorstep, he has detected some degree of humanity in you which tells him YOU are safe for HIM. Probably the best thing you can do for this guy would be to make a couple of sandwiches, grab a couple of bottled waters, and go out to have a snack with him. Talk to him like he’s a person. Believe it or not, some homeless people have difficulty talking just because being homeless leaves them short on practice communicating. The guys thought might be scattered, confused. If you want him to fell better, you will talk to him on his level. Don’t make him talk about what he doesn’t understand. Just nod, and smile, and say stuff like, “No, they shouldn’t do stuff like that.” He chose your doorstep because you don’t seem to be a threat, maybe he smelled something yummy inside once, you might look like someone he believes would understand what ails him. Sure, he stinks, but if you want to help him, you have to get past that at first.
Once you have shared food, and talked, you might know a little more about your man, and what you can do to help. Maybe the occasional sandwich and water would dd. Maybe he could benefit from the use of an old coat. Maybe some research would reveal a place where they could take him. Maybe he walked away from a “home”, and they’ve been looking for him.
Maybe it would require more than one talk to find out how you could help your goy. Sometimes, all it takes to help a homeless person is to help them feel cared about again. If you know he’s going to be ther when you get home, and you are going to stop at Burger King, or whatever, grab an extra sandwich for him. On your way inside, just hand it to him. Maybe say like, “Thought you might want one.”
Other ways to help THIS guy, is ask him if he needs a blanket, could he use a new shirt or pants, or gloves.
If you don’t feel you can hadle giving this guy some individual attention, contact some shelters. Donate to the ones you can, and ask what else you can do to help them stay open so poor, sad guys have a place they can turn to.
I found out this homeless guy I saw every day in San Francisco who was homeless LOVED science fiction. He had read lots of scifi books, and he was a pretty good critic. H liked being cheerful and upbeat, and he liked it when he could do something for me.
Some people are homeless because they are horrible, and don’t belong with the human race. Some are homeless because they are scared, confused, and missed the plan somewhere along the way.
Good luck. :).

if you are in a position to where you can help him, then that’s exactly what you should do. After all even they are human beings like us and we must help them to find shelter, food and care. Many a times we forget to realize how fortunate we are to have a place to stay. Just imagine if we had to spend that life and no one was ready to help us.
You can contact the public health team in your local authority or get help from some institutions where their illnesses and addictions can be monitored and treated.

As long as we live in a country where mental and physical health care is a privilege of the wealthy, we will never kick the homeless issue.

We have thousands of people coming home from the middle east with PTSD and amputations, just in time to replace the aging Vietnam vets who came home so shell shocked they couldn’t bear to be under a roof.

Most charities and social services are stretched so thin for resources they assist only families with children and pregnant women. Childless men don’t have a prayer.
If it were me, my husband and I would talk to him, offer him a meal and a shower and shave and some clean clothes, and try to figure out their story. If there’s anything I could do to help, I would.

I would offer him food and clothes.

I wouldn’t offer to let him come into my house. I don’t think it’s accurate for @Jonesn4burgers to say “he’s no threat to you whatsoever.” That’s a call that nobody can make, you can’t even be sure. Maybe he is a threat, maybe he isn’t. Maybe he won’t appear to be but who knows how it will end up. That’s why I wouldn’t have him into my house. You just never know. Better safe than sorry.

A girl I know from when I was young ended up a drug addict and homeless. She would appear to be “ok” as she always made herself up and got good clothes from charities (she told me she would get the best clothes, donated, wear them for a few days and throw them out as the homeless have limited use of laundry facilities). Anyway, some old lady invited my friend and her friend (accomplice) into her house, for tea (stupid move, IMHO) and my friend and her accomplice robbed the lady of cash, credit cards and jewelry. Lesson learned: You just never know.

Just my opinions above and I know many will disagree with them.

Well, I have no cash, credit cards, or jewelry, and if I did I wouldn’t leave them lying about the house.

And if the person posed any physical threat, the hubs could take em’.

That said, the worst violent thieves I’ve ever had in my house were family members, not random homeless people.

This old lady had her cash and cards in her wallet in her pocketbook and my friend and her accomplice went to the bathroom and then did their thievery.

My personal safety, my child and my home would be paramount, is all I am saying.

@jca I never advised bringing him inside. I do know however, that the question said this same guy has been at his doorstep frequently. If he were a threat, it would have been evident by now. I wonder what your experience with homelessness involves. I happen to have lots of exposure to various different situations, and services or lack thereof. Decades ago, I found evidence inside my car that someone had slept inside it. Nothing was taken, nothing was harmed, but a bag of food wrappers was in the back, and an envelpoe containing some family photos had been taken from my glove box and left on the seat. I brought down a blanket I could spare. I left it in the back seat witha note which said. “What you find here, leave here. What you bring, take with you when you go.You are welcome to sleep if you respect what is mine. I have to leave for work each day at six. Please be gone then.” Each day, I would see the blanket was moved, but neatly folded. I never searched for my sleepy tnant, never knew if they were old or young, man or woman. Could have been a fifteen yr old pregnant cast out.
The girl you knew was ABLE to do stuff, and well, her behavior is pretty common. Most of us are familiar with the type. We’re talking about a poor fellow here who isn’t pushing himself at anybody. I did point out the difference.

@Jonesn4burgers: No, I know you didn’t. @Seek_Kolinahr talked about taking him in and offering him a shower, etc. I mentioned your because you said he poses no threat to you whatsoever.

My experience with homelessness is that I work for an agency that deals with mentally ill, homeless, criminals, substance abusers who happen, usually to be parents (which was the nature of the work I did – dealing with parents in a child protective capacity). I would go to people’s homes, see them in shelters, see them in jail, see their records from mental health treatment, substance abuse treatment, district attorney, etc. There were good people, there were liars, there were all types. They would lose their kids because they were addicts, did not go for treatment, or mad bad choices (like they’d chose the boyfriend over the child). These people, we would visit solo, whereas Probation might be seeing the same people/clients and never go alone and always go with a gun. I am not afraid and had very few times where I was afraid for my physical safety. However, would I let them into my house?

Being helpful makes everybody feel good. That is why we do it.

But your kind gesture will probably not be significant enough to change his life and set it in a new direction.

So when you help, you will give up something of yours and he will probably not actually be better in exchange for your effort.

And eventually, you probably will run out of what you can give, and he will be just the same. Not sayin don’t do it. Just sayin.

It is obvious you are a kind, caring person – otherwise you would not have even asked this question. You feel annoyed and uncomfortable with the guy sleeping at your doorstep, yet you feel uncomfortable not helping him.
The easiest thing you can do is help by giving him some food. That will help him get through a few more hours but it will not make a change in his life or situation. He needs more than a burger and blanket – more than you can handle.
I know it will sound sexist but my answer will be different if you are male or female and whether you are strong enough (or are equipped) to “take him” if he got violent.

As @jca said “My personal safety, my child and my home would be paramount,” Yep. There is little chance he will be violent but your primary job is to take care of yourself. As the aircraft is going down the flight attendants tell you to put on your own oxygen mask first, then help others. Keep that in mind.

I’ll go back to the “sexist” answers.
Assuming you are female, are smaller build and live alone – I would walk past and not get involved. Why? The chances are small he is dangerous. Mentally ill? Not taking meds? Drug alcohol abuse? What are the chances he will hurt you? 1 in a 100? 1 in 1000?
Imagine I had a big box that contained a real bullet and 999 fake ones that looked and weighed the same. Now mix them up. Select one and put it in a gun. Now put the gun to your head. Would you pull the trigger? I didn’t think so.

Now let’s assume you are male and can take him out if things go wrong.
He needs help. Talk to him and learn his story. That will tell you what he really needs.
You can help make calls to help find his family. You can call social services, you can get him some clothes. You can help him move.

If you feed him for a day all you are doing is delaying his ultimate his recovery. Help in ways that make a longer term difference.

Just call the police. Worst case scenario is he’ll go to jail and have 3 hots and a cot. Much better than his current situation.

I don’t blame you for being uncomfortable having him almost on your doorstep. You don’t know that he would not hurt you.

I tend to give money to homeless people who ask for it. I am not sure I would do that if they were camping on my door step. Actually, I am sure I would not. I think that would be dangerous. He might start expecting it and get angry if you don’t give him something.

Personally, I would probably bring him a pillow and a blanket and a cup of hot coffee and whatever I’m having for breakfast. If he seems to want to engage in conversation I would try.
Also though, I would trust your gut. I was having a conversation with a homeless guy once. The conversation was pretty friendly. I gave him some cash and he was singing me songs he had written. Then he asked me for a ride. My spidy sense started tingling and I just sensed that this sweet old man had an evil intent. I politely said I had some place to be and left.
This person knows where you live. Proceed with kindness, but also be cautious.

First let me say that I don’t think any of us can be sure any advice we give you is correct…or even safe. I am especially worried about the comment that the man is no threat. Perhaps he’s not, but how can we possibly know? Might not hunger, cold, depression, and especially alcohol at some point fuel this man to some desperate act?

I feel great sympathy for his plight, but frankly I am more concerned for your safety—and at the least, for your willingness and ability, once having helped him, to maintain what would almost surely become an ongoing obligation both materially and emotionally difficult to escape. Giving the man food, money and clothes is certainly the humanitarian to do—but would he not quickly need and want more, and more, and more, and then depend on you for these things?

I agree with @Jonesn4burgers‘s advice to “contact some shelters. Donate to the ones you can, and ask what else you can do to help them stay open so poor, sad guys have a place they can turn to.”

I agree with @Pachyderm_In_The_Room 100%. Bottom line is, you just don’t know who this person is or what they are about. It’s obvious that you care, but at the end of the day it’s not your problem.
I also agree with @flip86. A jail cell would be preferable to a porch, especially with winter coming.
@Judi I’m so glad you went with your gut. That could have been disastrous. Very scary.

Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped when her dad hired a homeless man to help do handy work around his house.

A woman in my town saw a man with a sign that said “homeless, will work for food” and told him to come to her house to do some outside work. He raped and robbed her.

Not every homeless person is evil, but you have to be careful with strangers.
But I do give money to homeless people and what they do with it is up to them.

Kids should stop going to college because someone might gun them down. Stay away from malls, elementary schools, and since Catholic Priests have been molesting kids for decades, should we shut down Catholicism? I’ve been robbed in my lifetime, by people who had an address, by corporations, by family. Sure, judge each situation individually. One thing to keep in mind, this question involves one…...............man. Not a stray dog, or injured woodland creature. How he is treated will have a part in how he will react. In regards to the BIG picture though, working a soup kitchen is one great way to do something wonderful for lots of people. I have volunteered at a few food lines, and that’s when/where you sure can see a variety of homeless types. Most are very grateful. Volunteering to serve food on holidays is extra special. I’ve seen people cry because I said, “Sure, it’s okay for you to have another piece of pie. Do you want pumpkin or apple?”
Nobody told me the Navy is dangerous, and I shouldn’t join, but there are people who think I’m nuts for helping homeless people. Well, I got hurt lots of times in the Navy. I got paid for it, and I reaped benefits. Maybe there is some risk in associating with homeless. The setting can be very telling. In some situations I would steer clear, and I would advise the same for others. This is a case where I would have no fear bringing the man a little something to eat. Whatever choice you make though, please remember he is a man, not a dog. He may not be able to look after himself well enough, but he has mind enough to understand when he is being treated less than human. I would be interested in hearing some follow up later, what you decided to do, and how it turned out. Whatever you decide, you certainly have input of all sorts to help you think things over!

The small town nearby had a homeless man living under an overpass on the interstate. He was variously offered a job, food, clothing, and shelter. He rebuffed all offers. He could have had a nice apartment, a decent job and 3 hot meals a day for free, yet he chose to live under an overpass.

I think the unwanted attention finally made him move on.

In your situation, I’d probably end up kicking myself in the arse for offering him food.

What if it’s ten degrees outside? Then I’d feel quite guilty giving him a meal and a hot drink then think I could just leave him alone afterwards. If you were outside in the winter and someone offered you food you’d take it and be grateful. Hopefully. But then you become hungry again in a few hours and you’re freezing. You wait for another meal and possibly to be let inside which, in my opinion , could be dangerous and, in my opinion, more dangerous than shopping at the mall. But if you decided to let him in regardless of any perceived risk how would you have the heart to ask him to leave the warmth of your home?
Whatever is done should not be a quick fix. It should help him to be fed and warm for more than an hour. What that would entail I don’t know. Sorry about my present and past tense answer.

I would call the authorities. Since you know nothing about this person, you should not take any chances with you safety. I always expect the worst from people in that situation.

My opinion is yes, if you can help. do so. It’s the Christian thing to do.

The bigger question is: what kind of help are you proposing to offer? Give him things? Take him to an AA meeting? Give him food only? Give him a blanket and pillow? All of that well meaning effort is imposing your own judgment on his situation.

The most meaningful thing you can do is to talk to him and find out about him. Ask him if he needs something specific. Ask him how his day is going. One day he may be hungry, one day he may be cold, one day he may be wondering how to cash relief check without getting ripped off.

And then, help when you can, and if you can’t, be honest and direct and say, “I can’t help with that, but I wish you well.”

@Aster You make him sound like he’s a stray cat.

@Seek_Kolinahr I thought @Aster‘s response kind of defined the original asker’s dilemma.

http://kylyssa.squidoo.com/why_homeless_people_avoid_shelters

Well…a few years ago I “picked up” a hippie kid traveling from back east to Northern CA. here in my neck o’ the woods. He came into my store and we were discussing a book and he told me he was traveling. I invited him home with me and made us a great dinner, had a few drinks, and he was the greatest kid ever. He crashed in my living room overnight, made us breakfast and I sent him on his way with a care package for his adventure.

Not exactly a homeless person, but, I pick up the hippie river rafting kids and NorCal vagabonds in my tourist area all the time. Never been ax murdered yet. Good vibes attract good vibes. I’d at least offer the guy some food and give him some extra blankets or clothing.

Our fearless @Coloma! Please be careful.

@Katniss Fear not young maiden I am a well seasoned old hippie gal, well..not that old, but this is the way things roll in my river rafting community. Everyone’s got their paddle up a creek and it’s a long trek between putting in and taking out. lol
Over 100,000 people a season blaze the white water here and we have river guides from all around the world. North america in the summer south america in the winter. It’s a commune of river rats. :-)

There are stages in assisting homeless people, in facilitating their productive return to society. Many of these people are not just without a home – a house to go to sleep in at night—they are out there due to problems which must be dealt with before they can sustain a job and pay rent or the mortgage on a home of their own. And if these problems aren’t dealt with, then they will eventually return to the streets. These people are not just houseless, they are disenfranchised for a very simple reason. Society senses that they do not contribute, but consume resources, and therefore are often treated like vermin.

Many are simply young, unskilled, without any education and functionally illiterate who were kicked out of their homes by their parents years ago. Many are seriously mentally ill and either require medication in order to be productive. This can manifest itself as simple untreated clinical depression which can be crippling but easily treatable, or extreme as schizophrenia so severe as to require institutionalization—which is not often available in America even with insurance. Many are substance abusers, addicts and alcoholics who, if they can land a job, cannot hold them for very long.

Many are afflicted with more than one of these problems which must be dealt with serially. For example and for obvious reasons, the substance abuse must be controlled before the person enters school, and education must be obtained in order to get a skill/work that pays well enough to ensure this person can support themselves. If these hurdles are not met in proper order, all the resources invested into this individual will be wasted and those who provided those resources will lose the will to help. (If you have ever worked with the homeless, you will find very few of these people are simply caught between jobs without a financial cushion.)

Simply giving these people money—a dollar here, a five there—or clothes, or even the spare room above the garage may temporarily assuage your need to help this growing strata of our society, but people who do this without first addressing the root causes of the person’s instability are often disappointed by the results and become cynical, even hostile toward the homeless. The multiple problems of even one homeless person can be overwhelming to the naïve and uninitiated. Most people do not have the resources to properly deal with these individuals. And this becomes very complicated when the homeless and disenfranchised are uncooperative in their own rehabilitation.

You say he is alcoholic. I would suggest to him a list of homeless shelters, maybe discuss these with him, makes some phone calls, and even offer to give him and his few possessions a ride to the shelter of his choice (This, of course, is providing you feel that he is safe to approach). Don’t be surprised if he refuses to go to a shelter, because he knows that he will not be allowed to drink there—and drinking is his top priority before food, shelter, clothing, and certainly the negative affect his personal choices has on the lives of other people—even those closest to him. If he refuses to go to a shelter and address the problem that makes him a problem to everyone around him, including children, I would simply and without any guilt call the police and have him removed. He made that choice when he chose drinking over being a productive member of society.

His incarceration will not solve his problem, because we live in a punitive society and not a therapeutic one, but it will remove him from your immediate environment, possibly for good—and possibly not.