Who raised you?
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longgone (
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March 26th, 2014
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A whole hippie commune maybe…lol, seriously though, my mom, grandmother and grandfather for the most part. My bio dad is a rich jerk who ‘wasn’t ready for kids.’
Traditional, old-fashioned and very satisfactory. My mother and father rented the little carriage house next to my paternal grandparents, where three of my four uncles, my grandmother’s sister and her son were still living. I could wander over, through the garden path, at will to be coddled, fed, amused, tickled and taught domestic skills.
My grandfather stabled two horses, kept two dogs and had a talking parrot in the basement. My grandmother had an enormous vegetable garden, a fruit orchard and a grape vine. She and my aunt turned out enormous meals nightly in an old-fashioned kitchen for at least 8 people.
She taught me how to knit, crochet, darn socks, make chopped liver, hand-wash the drops of a crystal chandelier, and hand-pick Japanese beetles from the roses.
This blissful arrangement lasted until I was four.
My mother, step-father, and uncle for the most part.
I was going to say my Mom – and more distantly – my Dad but I actually grew up in a community of Jewish chicken farmers so, in a way, it was a village. However, there was a lot of trauma that nobody protected me from.
Up to 12 years old I had a great family, father, mother, grandfather, grandmother, and I had a great childhood. From then on I pretty much raised myself.
^^ How? At 12? Where did everyone go?
My grandfather and father both died. My mother lost it for a while.
Mostly mom, grandma and aunts for the first ten years.
Then mom and dad for the next eight.
Then I muddled through, managing not to do anything too stupid, on my own for a year until my wife came along and took over.
Great question! When I was a baby, both of my parents had to work full time to support my older sibling and me. During the day, my wonderful grandmother and wicked aunt took care of us. Occasionally, my mom hired a babysitter. After my older brother got in an accident while under the care of a sitter, and my aunt turned out to be a manipulative sociopath, my mother decided to quit and raise us full time—especially since she was expecting a third, and final child.
I would also posit that the television contributed our development, but don’t tell my mom I said that!
A loving, supportive mother; a somewhat less than fully engaged but terrific dad, and various aunts and uncles whom I adored. I was very fortunate growing up. Unfortunately, I didn’t appreciate it as much then as I do now that they’re all gone.
My Mom and Dad, with a little help from my 2 older sisters.
My mother for the most part with a decent dose of help from my dad’s mom and considerable help from me. Unfortunately mom was a control freak and ended up being the one who made sure that no two members of my immediate family speak to each other, but for her and my older brother.
My mother and father raised me and did a damn good job of it too. I turned out to be a really good example of a what I am today…..a decent human being who loves life and appreciates everything good that is a part of it.
My Mother and Father
I’m an only child.
My Great Aunt (and Uncle)
They lived up the street. She babysat me often.
My Paternal Grandparents
They eventually moved up the street. I slept over their house regularly.
My Maternal Grandmother
She lived in the same city and also babysat me regularly.
All this babysitting. My parents were clearly were not home much.
My mom and my dad. No village.
The television and my mom and grandpa.
According to my mom…we (my siblings) we did. I have 2 boys and asked my mom in exasperation how on earth she raised 5 kids in contrast to the huge effort it took me and my wife to raise just 2 boys. Her reply was…“I didn’t raise you guys…YOU did! O-o
That both scares and pleases me, @dxs.
Scares me in that at my age, Fluther might not end up as a blip on my radar.
Pleases me that you’ve found solace and company here.
I think that makes you a Villager!
@ibstubro Yes. The internet is very useful. It gave me my moral basis.
Do you have farm-family roots, @Cruiser? I forget.
But that is the traditional model of family. Lots of kids because it was free labor and the older kids basically raised the younger, with the parents refereeing.
How do you mean, “moral basis”? @dxs PM if you prefer.
I can’t imagine getting a moral foundation from the internet, honestly and truly. But I was maybe 30 when it was invented.
@dxs And Fluther, too.
Totally agree. Dr. J is raising me now, apart from my parents.
My mom, dad, a few teachers, priests and nuns, and my best friend mom. My mom and dad where the primary people but I added the rest that had pretty large positive influence in my life. People who I respected and taught me about the realities of life in our world. People who taught me you can be selfless and still enjoy life. You can be strong but at times you will need someone to lean on.Patience and love go hand in hand.
I lived with my parents from birth till I was 2 years old. I was removed from my parents and sent to live with my paternal grandmother. She couldnt handle me and kept sticking me in respite homes and psych hospitals, so the state took custody. I lived in a foster home from the age of 5 till I was 11. I hated that place. At 11 I got myself sent to a psych hospital and refused to go back. From there, I lived in various group homes till the age of 17, when I reconnected with my grandmother.
My mom and dad.
That’s all.
@rojo The foster home was ok in some respects. There were some good times and they traveled a lot so that was fun, but the foster woman was an evil bitch. If I got into the shit she put me through it would take up most of this thread. I also don’t feel like dredging up the past.
No, not trying to open old wounds.
I wish you the best…......
My Mom and two older Sisters. My Dad died when I was 4.
My mom and just about all of my 6 older siblings
I’m the youngest of 9 kids, so a few of my older sisters helped out and I always felt special when one of the older brothers did something for me, like fixed a bike so I could ride it, or made me a PB&J. Mom and Dad were always there, but Dad was always tired and worked shift work. Mom did her best to stretch a dollar and taught me to knit, crochet sew and embroider and hem and fix a button. I had cousins that lived in a rural area and spent loads of time out there and learned how to ride a horse and camp and survive in the woods. The library was also a big part of my life, so when I wasn’t reading and learning about what plants in the woods were edible and how to make flour out of the edible summac and not to mix it up with the poisonous kind, I was reading Judy Bloom books or escaping into fantasy worlds made up of witchcraft and medieval castles. I would ride my bike as far as my legs would take me, which was often the 7 miles out to my cousins house and then the further 3 miles to swim in the bay when it was hot. Huge family. Lots of love and attention and some poisonous jealousy and resentment. Some very good examples to follow and some very poor examples which served as cautionary tales. School was very important to me. My upbringing was in a tiny town and I think I was raised by a village and some of the residents took turns playing the idiot, which was a nice touch.
My mammy & a carefully selected trio of sex starved nuns with dirty habits.
@ibstubro My roots are firmly rooted in the City of Chicago.
Primarily my mom and dad. I would have to say the television also. LOL.
I did spend a few weeks during the summer with my maternal grandparents, which I think was a very good experience. My grandma taught me more than anyone to be comfortable with my body. She also taught me to swim, and play tennis, and I felt very loved by her.
As other people have mentioned there were teachers of course who had some inlfuence and other adults besides my parents, but I don’t think I would say my teachers “raised” me. I wouldn’t use that word.
Surprisingly few people said “Mom and Dad only”...
I was raised by both parents, with help from my maternal grandma. I also had quite a few aunts, uncles and other relatives as go-to adults.
All of my extended family lived hours and hours, in some cases, days away. I remember going to Texas for Thanksgiving one year. Sunray. They rented some hall. SO many people, all related to me. It was a little shocking. I was used to just us 5, on Christmas, Thanksgiving. Always, just us 5.
Rick has mass extended family nearby. It has taken some getting used to.
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