Social Question

Dutchess_III's avatar

Did I do the right thing, or the wrong thing?

Asked by Dutchess_III (42020points) August 22nd, 2014

We’ve all been in situations regarding bratty kids where we wished we could intervene. Well, I got that chance yesterday! I . was at a convenience store after a very long day, yesterday. I wasn’t hitting on all cylinders or I would have recognized my own family right away. There was a woman in front of me, and in front of her was a guy and his 12 year old daughter who was trying to control a kid who was about 4. The 4 year old was being a BRAT. He reached past the 12 year old to grab a piece of candy from the one-piece-of candy rack they always have at the check-out. So the 12 year old grabbed the 4 year old’s hand to wrestle the piece of candy away, which she did successfully, the kid screaming the whole time, and the Dad, who was trying to pay the bill, turned and grabbed the kid’s face and did some threatening.
I was like, “OMG. So much violence. No wonder the kid is a brat”

Then the dad spied me and said “Hey Val! How ya doin’?!” and I suddenly realized that the “12 year old” was actually my grand daughter, Brande (who is 10 BTW but looks and acts 12), and the “guy” was her dad, Harley. The boy was Harley’s oldest daughter’s son,who was just 16 when she had him.

At that point I stepped up and thunked the brat on the head as I said, “Well, it would appear that we are related, and I am your grandma and I’m telling you that that is NO way to act!” He went into a bit of shock at being thumped by this person he’s never met before, who claimed to be his grandma. He tucked himself in in front of his dad, as Dad checked out, and there was no more trouble.

My granddaughter, Brande just went, via body language, “Oh God. I am SO embarrassed!”

So I paid for my stuff, and as I stepped out side of the store I saw Harley, and his truck, still out by the tanks. So I went up and sort of apologized. I said, “Harley! Are you mad at me? I was sorta out of line there.”
He said, “No! He’s a brat and he needs some ‘THUMP!’ That was great!”
So, I opened the truck door. There was Caiden, in his car seat, strapped into the middle of the front seat of the truck. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Brande, in the back, sort of melt into a pile of embarrassment again, like teen-angers do.

To my amazement, when he saw me again, Caiden instantly stuck his hand out and said, “I’m Caiden! Very nice to meet you!” like the most polite Harvard graduate in the world! “And there is a piece of candy over there!” he said, and he indicated the far right of the dashboard where there was a piece of peppermint candy, of the variety you would get gratuitously from Sonic.
I said, “And so there is! And if you ask someone to give you that piece of candy, and they do, you will say “Thank you.” And if they don’t you will just shrug your shoulders and say ‘OK.’ Agreed?”
Caiden said, almost happily, “AGREED!”

So I’m kinda torn. I can’t believe I did what I did but, on the other hand, it seemed to have worked, at least at that moment (really curious how it went down when/if he asked for the candy.) And maybe it’s something he won’t forget. You never know when some random lady is going to appear out of the crowd and thunk you for being brat!

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12 Answers

KNOWITALL's avatar

I think you handled it ok. Sometimes kids need reminders of proper behavior, though his dad should’ve done it.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, the guy was his grandfather, actually. And he handled it the way he does. I’ve never been thrilled with his parenting.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Sounds like it turned out OK, so you were lucky. Not all instances will work out as well.

ragingloli's avatar

>>“OMG. So much violence. No wonder the kid is a brat”

>>I stepped up and thunked the brat on the head

I hope you are seeing a problem here.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I tapped him on the head to get his attention. I didn’t grab his face and pinch his cheeks so that it hurt.

zenvelo's avatar

You did the right thing. It wasn’t corporal punishment or violence. It got his attention.

Dutchess_III's avatar

The change in him when I saw him in the truck was dramatic. It was just amazing. It just shows he DOES know manners, just chooses not to use them.

Aethelwine's avatar

Was anyone wearing slippers and pajama pants?

I just had to go there. ;)

Dutchess_III's avatar

OH GAWD!!!! No! They weren’t using food stamps either!

fluthernutter's avatar

I don’t think his change in demeanor was due to the fact that you thumped him.

Rather, I see this as an example of how generally good kids (who know their manners) can have difficult moments. What you catch a glimpse of in line isn’t necessarily what they’re like all of the time.

longgone's avatar

Had you really “tapped him on the head”, why would you have felt the need to ask this question? This is depressing. For the record, since you asked: Wrong. Very wrong.

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