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The_Inquisitor's avatar

Why is it that many people look down on teenager relationships?

Asked by The_Inquisitor (3163points) July 24th, 2008

I understand why, in a way that many people would look down on relationships of teenagers. Do you think that all of them are like that though? Is it really the age that matters? If they’re a teenager or not? Does maturity not take a stand in this?

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21 Answers

flyawayxxballoon's avatar

I think it’s ridiculous that age matters so much to so many people. Age is just a number. It has nothing to do with each person’s maturity levels and responsibility, etc. People look down on them because they think, “Oh, you’re too young.” or “Oh please, it’s just high school…those relationships never last.” or even “They’re just kids, it’s not a real relationship.” But this is not neccessarily true. There are always outliers, contrary to popular belief that all teenagers are immature idiots.

hollywoodduck's avatar

I think that it’s not that people necessarily look down on these relationships but rather refer back to their own teenage relationship experience which probably makes them skeptical about others.

gimmedat's avatar

I have a 15-year-old daughter and I will tell you the same thing I’ve told her: I don’t look down on teenage relationships. I believe that when a teenager says he’s/she’s in love, he or she is in teenage love; the capacity for a 15-year-old to love is just as great as that of an adult. The difficult part comes in when you start looking at the kind of relationship that develops. I do not want my daughter to make any adult commitments as a teenager.

Triozoo's avatar

It’s not that they pity young romance but are concerned about them. Media influence is also involved in the elderly minds, which makes them judge and think about the flaws in a young relationship. Maturity shouldn’t take up a large deal of an relationship? I’ve seen people in their late 40’s who still act as if they were 20.

flameboi's avatar

We you are a teenager, u can actually love a person, it’s so free and you don’t think about anything else is just that spark that you have inside, when you grow up, suddendly you start thinking about family issues, financial issues, and then is not love anymore, is like closing a deal where you expect the highest profit possible…

wildflower's avatar

I don’t look down on them at all. For some (few) it will turn out to be a relationship that lasts, whilst for others it’s a learning and maturing experience that will help you build and maintain good relationships in the future.

marinelife's avatar

I do not look down on them. I enjoyed many that were memorable and helped me become the person that I am today.

Most adults know, though, that very few teenage relationships last.

@flameboi How depressing. My adult romances were just as involving and more fulfilling than teen ones. I know hardly anyone who considers a marriage or love relationship “like closing a deal.”

dragonflyfaith's avatar

I met my husband when I was 16 and that was it. We’ve been married five years now and couldn’t be happier.

And just to clarify, we didn’t marry extremely young nor did we marry because I got knocked up. In fact we are expecting our first child now.

PupnTaco's avatar

Most teenagers aren’t emotionally mature. And they can’t understand what that means until they have enough life experiences to know the difference.

‘Twas always thus.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

experience over age.

You can be 65 and had only 1 relationship. That could be considered young in experience.

Experience, live, learn, progress and evolve.

dragonflyfaith's avatar

@PupnTaco Looking back on our relationship, my husband and I have come a long, long way and I can agree that we were not emotionally mature when we met at 16. We had no idea what we were doing and I see now that we were young and dumb. But luckily it worked out for us.

The_Inquisitor's avatar

At first, when people hear about relationship problems and what not, they want to help out, but I’ve read from other fluther sessions where people change their advice, or think differently after realizing that it is a teenage relationship. Quoted: “Teenage girls basically suck at relationships. Consider them practice.”

La_chica_gomela's avatar

I don’t look down on them, but, similar to what hollywoodduck said, i look back at my relationships as a teenager, and think about how much i’ve changed since then, and realize all the mistakes i made then, and how much i’ve learned from them now. i wouldn’t trade the knowledge i have from my relationships throughout my teen years for anything, and maybe some people look down on teenagers in relationships because they haven’t acquired that kind of knowledge yet. Those people should remember that it’s all part of life. You learn from experience.

wildflower's avatar

That’s a terrible statement and I think the majority would disagree with it. Although, as I’m approaching double-teenage-age, I can safely say I did suck at relationships in my teens. I hadn’t figured myself out so it’s no surprise I couldn’t figure out relations with others….

The_Inquisitor's avatar

Okay, thanks everyone for their input and opinions. That one line that I quoted was pretty much what irritated me.

Randy's avatar

Teenagers tend to be over the top so that they stand out among peers. They do this when it comes to young love as well. There is a very small percentage of teenage relationships that actually last. At that age you can love but your not ready for a lot that comes with it. Most teens tend to think they can and “wanna prove people wrong”. This tends to lead to bad decision making. The people who look down on these relationships just know that the teens need time to grow and mature.

Sloane2024's avatar

Im 16 and feel synonymously. I realize that most girls my age confuse infatuation w/ love. It usually takes an extensive amount of time to truly love someone. You must see them angry, upset, stressed, ecstatic, tired, hyper, and in all other emotional states and adore them just as much in one as in the others. Recognize and appreciate their imperfections as a substantial component of who they are; we as teens are stereotyped as a group of people who are incapable of such feelings and maturity, and, quite frankly, I can’t blame those who do, considering the youth who’ve made extremely detrimental and foolish decisions are much more magnified and publicized than those of us who are cautious and wise in our relationships. More than likely, the opinion of the majority will remain this way, but if it bothers you this badly, use that hurt and disappointment as a driving factor in defying this generalization by not making irrational decisions or immature choices in your dating life. (not implying that you are, but just for the record, lol)

The_Inquisitor's avatar

@sloane, It doesn’t bother me too badly, I was just a tad bit annoyed
Btw, Well said. :)

Poser's avatar

The main problem with teenage relationships is that teenagers are in a position where they are capable of making adult type decisions (both emotional and physical ones) without the experience and resulting maturity that comes with adulthood. Often, those decisions have very serious consequences. To compound the problem, most teenagers think they do have the experience and resulting maturity to make such decisions.

As my mom used to say, “I trust your intentions, I just don’t trust your judgment.”

berocky1's avatar

I don’t look down at my daughters relation ship. I just say. Be responsible.

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