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eeyore200343's avatar

How can i be angry without crying?

Asked by eeyore200343 (175points) July 31st, 2008
Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

12 Answers

poofandmook's avatar

Usually if I get to the point where I’m so mad that I cry, there’s no turning back. But do you cry when you’re even a little mad?

2late2be's avatar

I wish I could say everything I feel without crying, but, most of the times I start crying when I start talking, I hate me for that, I’m sooo mad that I start crying, I will wait for some answers as well….

cage's avatar

chuirn your anger into somehting else.
I think you’re handling your feelings in the wrong way.
By the sounds of it you’re a flyer as appose to a fighter, i.e. something angers you so you fly – cry.
you need to find a way of releasing anger in a more productive way, shout back, or hit something! (ideally not the person lol)
if that doesn’t seem like your cup of tea, then you need to handle yourself better so you don’t get angry in the first place, just try to relax and take some time out to yourself.

eeyore200343's avatar

not wen im a little mad when im totally annoyed like today at wrk sum1 shouted at me coz of summat i was doin wen she wanted me to do summat else im a nursery nurse so i cant shout in front of kids

La_chica_gomela's avatar

i have that problem too! like whenever i try to talk to a teacher about a test i made a bad grade on, or when i had to tell my boss that i needed a few weeks off because i was having surgery, i guess i wasn’t mad about either of those things, but for some reason my eyes will start tearing up.

what i started doing, was, you know that feeling inside when you know you’re about to cry but it hasn’t come out yet? okay, well when i get that feeling, i think about someone i know (like a close friend or relative) in a clown suit or sometimes a bunny suit, or even in their underwear. it makes me laugh on the inside, and that sort of warms me inside, and taking a second to focus on something other than my anger or embarrassment lets me keep the tears inside, so that i can say whatever i need to say, and go back to doing my job, without crying.

i know that’s really weird, but it works really well for me, and since i’ve started doing it i haven’t cried in front of someone i didn’t want to a single time!

marinelife's avatar

Hi, eeyore. Welcome to the collective. One gentle reminder. Please do not use text speak on Fluther.

There is a gender difference at work here. It is common for women to cry when they are angry. I know when it has happened to me, I have been mad at myself. I have worked hard to try to train it out of myself, because male colleagues just don’t get it. Usually, they have a bad reaction.

One thing that works for me is not to respond immediately to the person.“I’ll come and speak to you about that as soon as I finish what I am in the middle of right now.”

Then before I go and talk to the person, I go in the bathroom or somewhere private, and I practice what I want to say over and over until I can say it without crying. The first few times I may cry, but the sheer repetition stops the tears.

I am going to try La_chica_gomela’s idea the very next time. I think I will imagine the yeller in the clown suit or their underwear though!

Good luck.

jgraziani's avatar

This must be very frustrating for you. One thing a minister told me is to “always assume a positive intent.” If you get angry because someone has said or done something that hurts you, go ahead and assume that they might think their comment or actions will help you—even if they are being boorish and insensitive. I find that changing my attitude toward the offending person (even though it’s hard sometimes) often helps me to keep my head clearer and my emotions in check. You can’t control how they act, all you can do is control how you react to them. If you “kill your enemies with kindness” they’ll wonder what you’re up to! Good luck.

rowenaz's avatar

Crying when you’re angry may not be all that bad a thing – you are letting the feelings out, not keeping it all pent up, and that HAS to be more healthy. Deep breaths, and slow exhales.

chiraag06's avatar

I’ve got almost the same problem. I just cry even if I’m a little mad.
It is so irritating. I should be mad at something or somebody. But I cry infront of them.
Please help me to control myself from crying.

XxDianaxPerliaxX's avatar

Well, I suggest that thinking about something like your favorite moments or something like that would definitely stop you from crying, but that depends on how angry are you, if you’re angry like you can’t control it, then all you can do is cal down and think of something that will resist you from crying or being angry. But we are talkig about emotions, it’s either you try to control it or you’ll just let it out.

laurenm's avatar

i get angery when i do not get listen to by my friend and i some time i get bullyied by them as well then i walk away and i would cry and i would punch something even though i do not mean to do it it when the friend does not want to listen to what i have to say and she thing that is a load of bread and they do not want to be my friend so i see how you are feeling you are even though we have not met yet

AussyBacca160's avatar

When I’m super mad alone in my room, I’ll cry for like 10 minutes then rage.

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