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Misspegasister28's avatar

Why do my opinions on the people I love fluctuate every day?

Asked by Misspegasister28 (2098points) August 25th, 2016

So I have pretty bad mood fluctuations, but lately I’ve noticed my opinions of the people in my life have been fluctuating pretty bad.

Especially my boyfriend. He hasn’t done anything wrong, but he’ll text me and I’ll get extremely annoyed and want to break up, and an hour later I’ll be completely in love again. Why does this happen?

It happens with my friends and my family as well, my views on people just change rapidly and can change like up to 10 times a day. Sometimes the feelings will last a few minutes, and other times they’ll last a few hours. What is this? Does this happen to anyone else?

Does anyone have any idea what this is and what I can do about it? It’s really distressing me.

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12 Answers

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

It might be that you are a fair weather friend. It’s just might be your personality type. It’s normal.

Mimishu1995's avatar

Could it be that they are actually changing and your opinion is right?

Or could it be that you are going through your teenage crisis and your brain is a bit disorganized? When I was your age my mood swang a lot too, and when I passed my teenage year it balanced itself. Opinion on people is affected by your mood. Teenage years are just a messy time.

Or maybe your brain just had a bad day.

anniereborn's avatar

I have mental illnesses and my moods can fluctuate quite a bit. But, generally my opinions of my friends/family don’t change THAT often. I mean I may get mad at someone if they do something specific to cause that, but my actual opinion of who they are as a person wouldn’t really change. I don’t know what would cause that. If you are on any medications, it could be a side effect.

Misspegasister28's avatar

@Mimishu1995 Yeah I’m hoping it’s just that

@anniereborn My therapist thinks I might be bipolar but I’m not on meds for bipolar because I don’t have a diagnosis, so maybe that’s it

anniereborn's avatar

I think it can be tricky to diagnose a teen with Bipolar Disorder. There are still a lot of hormones floating around trying to settle. I got my diagnosis in my early 30s, though I surely had signs way before that.

Kardamom's avatar

@Misspegasister28 You sound like you have classic bi-polar disorder. I, unfortunately, have been involved with two people who had this problem, and have a couple of relatives with it, and one co-worker, and it ultimately became a hellish situation being in a relationship with them, because they would be nice and interesting and sweet one minute, then selfish and rude, and mean the next minute.

Please talk to your doctor and ask him or her what treatments are available for this condition. If you don’t get treatment, you will cause other people to feel terrible over the years, and you may or may not feel guilty about it.

Try to put yourself into the shoes of the person or people who have to deal with someone (in this case you) who constantly changes their mind/feelings/opinion about them. They are just trying to live their lives, being who they are, but getting treated kindly one minute, treated with disdain the next minute, or being treated with complete disregard the next. There’s nothing they can do to fix the problem, so you need to get some treatment.

I’m sorry if this comes across as harsh, but it can be harsh for the people on the other side of this situation.

msh's avatar

A wise person once told me: you can love someone, but you don’t necessarily have to like them all the time either.
If you feel this way about a number of people- take the above advice.

Stinley's avatar

I feel like this sometimes but generally, it is to do with how they have behaved. I have a friend who is annoying because she doesn’t follow conversations and then interrupts when she’s had enough of not following a conversation. So irritating. So with her, I am patient up to a point and then I’ll snap. Of course I’m too reserved to actually say that her interrupting is annoying, so I’ll be all passive-aggressive and moody – a bit like what you describe.

Coloma's avatar

Maybe it;s time to examine your own flaws, which you may be projecting onto those close to you. Unless someone is a chronic, moody, abusive type, it’s not that hard to allow others to be what they are. Maybe your expectations are unrealistic. Are you expecting others to be perfect but letting yourself off the hook for your own shortcomings?

anniereborn's avatar

I beg any and all of the above to not fly off the handle diagnosing anyone. I myself have Bipolar Disorder and would not assume another has it . There are many other types of things that can cause what the original poster is speaking off. Medical and professional psychological help are good places to start for sure.

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