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Dutchess_III's avatar

Would bad sex, or lack luster sex, or sexual infrequency, be a reason for you to file for a divorce?

Asked by Dutchess_III (46806points) February 23rd, 2017

As asked.

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22 Answers

rojo's avatar

No. At least not for me. I get a lot more out of my relationship than sex. I enjoy the sex but it is also about having someone who loves me and wants to be with me and lets me be a part of their life and travels with me and laughs with me and…............ like I said, more.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Yes. Sex is a normal human function, and it is part of an intimate relationship.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

No, but this is different fro everyone.
Speaking for most men we need but three things and we’ll usually settle for two.
1. Quality companionship
2. Respect
3. Intimacy.
It’s also very hard to have real intimacy without the other two. I personally would have a hard time sleeping with someone that does not respect me, treats me like shit or simply is not putting any effort into the relationship. It’s pretty easy to overlook a piss poor sex life if the companionship and mutual respect is there.

rojo's avatar

@ARE_you_kidding_me
Reminds me of the old saying we used in construction: Good, fast or cheap. You can have any two.

wait! we aren’t still discussing sex with clowns or dressed as clowns are we?

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

Ah, yes. NASA said that years ago too… “faster, better, cheaper” I believe it lead to several failed mars missions and one notable success. When I hear it from project managers at work I cringe and usually bite my tongue when I want to say “pick two” Those types usually hardly notice when I push the deadlines and go slightly over budget to keep the quality where it should be.

ragingloli's avatar

That is what toys are for.

Cruiser's avatar

I would have never got married if there was bad sex, or lack luster sex, or sexual infrequency. If after many years of marriage into our sunset years, our sex life had a become less frequent I don’t think divorce would come into the picture as I love my wife and we have a ton of fun together outside the bedroom.

Dutchess_III's avatar

But what if it was, say, just 10 years into the marriage, and she loses interest, but you still have a ton of fun in other areas? Would you consider divorce then @Cruiser?

I have yet to hear from any women on this…well, I’m a woman and my answer is “No.”

kritiper's avatar

Yes. If sex was so important that bad sex would be cause for a divorce, then the marriage never should have taken place at all.

YARNLADY's avatar

With my former husband, it was the main reason, and he only stayed married to me until he found someone else better suited to his needs.

Unofficial_Member's avatar

Not married yet but sex won’t determine whether or not I’ll file a divorce or end the relationship. So what if he doesn’t please or please me enough in bedroom? There are sex toys that can fix what he lacks. So long as he has a good personality and make you happy I don’t think the magnitude of your sexual experience should be the deal breaker. I would rather have a relationship with a good guy but not-so-satisfying sex than a bad guy with over-the-top sexual experiences. You should discuss with your husband how he should please you but remember to avoid saying that he didn’t make a good sex partner as it would hurt his ego/feeling so badly.

It just makes me wonder how someone would marry another person that doesn’t give them the desired sexual experience but at later time would divorce their spouse because of that particular issue, unless, of course, they have been virgins until marriage.

anniereborn's avatar

I would not. However, generally (unless there is some physical problem), this is a sign that something else in the marriage is awry (or in either of the individuals). That would be the more important part to worry about for me.

cazzie's avatar

No. I expect things to go through waves and troughs. As long as that was the only thing going wrong. Unfortunately, in my long life, what I have found is that the lack of physical intimacy is often a symptom of another problem. But, if it was just the sex part missing, nah. If it was a boyfriend, then yes. But if I dove into it for the long haul and got married and that was the only problem… meh. I mostly want someone I can really talk to and who doesn’t annoy the fuck out of me (which is why I am alone.)

jca's avatar

I have never been married but I think as long as the two people are ok with the quality or frequency of any intimate act, if it works for them, it works. If one wants intimacy and the other one never does, then it’s a given that it can cause resentment or ill feelings. If one is sick or has some other issue than some understanding should be in order.

As for reasons for divorce, I’d think if one wants intimacy and the other one never does, and they can’t come to some sort of a middle ground, then if they agree to divorce it’s their right and not for anyone else to make judgements or assumptions.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Hm. I don’t see anyone making any judgements or assumptions here.

Coloma's avatar

No. Sex is just the frosting on the relational cake. A lot more substance in the cake than the frosting, though licking the spoon is quite wonderful. haha

rojo's avatar

^^ you prefer the hard icing or the sticky, gooey kind?

Coloma's avatar

@rojo Well…to get the sticky gooey kind you have to start with hard. lol

Sneki95's avatar

If I found out I was married, I’d divorce immediately, sex life or not.

CalHoncho's avatar

No I wouldn’t. Mary Palm and her sisters fill the void.

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