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dopeguru's avatar

Am I anti-social if I don't like going out?

Asked by dopeguru (1917points) December 24th, 2017

I hate going out. It gives me NOTHING unless its a unique night out where we don’t go to a club. Am I anti-social? I’ve been getting a lot of sh*t for this lately, people are calling me weird, anti-social and lame. I say I prefer being home or have a calmer night where I’m stimulated in different ways than just using the energy of my body. They say that’s for the week-days. This made me think like I’m missing out on ‘life’... But I just feel like vomiting when I decide to take their advice and go out and party, talk about retarded things… They all talk about themselves anyway.

Back to the original questions, am I anti-social? Odd?

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20 Answers

josie's avatar

I don’t think preferring home to going out makes you anti-social.

It’s the comment about people you go out with talking about retarded things that gets my attention. If you can’t put up with small talk, you definitely can’t put up with people. And since there is no social without people, you just might be anti-social.

rockfan's avatar

@josie

Completely disagree, I think it’s unfair to label someone anti-social if they dislike small talk. In fact, people who dislike small talk are actually even more in tune with other people, because they derive pleasure from meaningful conversations.

ragingloli's avatar

There is nothing wrong with being anti-social.
People suck. They are loud, crude and obnoxious.
When a colleague retells his tale of his going to a Formula 1 Race and how it is only an excuse to get shitfaced every day, what other response can there be, but “I despise you.”

canidmajor's avatar

@rockfan, sorry, I have to disagree. I don’t personally want to talk about meaningful things A) with people I don’t know that well and B) in a context that’s not necessarily conducive to “meaningful” conversation.

@dopeguru, then pick different friends. If you think their conversation is “retarded” or too self-focused, then find other people. This is not about whether or not you are anti-social, it’s about you feeling much too superior to your current social group.

Darth_Algar's avatar

“Antisocial” is a often misunderstood and misused term. It’s a personality disorder characterized by a disregard for rights, feelings or wellbeing of others. Ironically many people with this disorder do well in social situations, especially situations that involve a lot of superficial small talk.

snowberry's avatar

I am not antisocial at all. At the same time, I don’t like going out on social occasions, unless it’s to visit with just a few friends at a time.. I’ve never been into “small talk”, but I am into connecting with people on a deeper level.

Find different friends!

marinelife's avatar

Going to a club is not the be all and end all of experiencing life. It just happens to be something that you don’t like. Do you like going to movies? Going for a hike? Going out to restaurants? Unless you answered no to all those things and a host of others, you are not antisocial. I would say that you need new friends.

Patty_Melt's avatar

The way I read it, OP is describing situations which involve lots of chest thumping, and meaningless banter.
I think wanting to avoid that is not antisocial, it is selective socialising.
It makes me think of a very old movie I just watched again, called Marty. It stars Earnest Borgnine. His friends were a bore. When he got a lady friend, they were jealous, and called her a dog.
Lousey friends descend to name calling when they know you prefer to do something other than be with them.
Avoiding bores is not antisocial.

janbb's avatar

I’m much older but a lot of my friends since I’ve become single like to go out dancing at bars where the music starts late. I’m not that into that, particularly in the winter. I also don’t like shouting small talk. ( Ironically, we all met at a walking group.)

I’m also coming to the realization that I need to look for some new friends.

seawulf575's avatar

I guess it depends on why your friends want you to go out. If it is just to go blow off some steam once in a while, I feel it might be a good thing to do. If it is just because they feel that is the thing to do, I feel they are the ones that are a bit odd, not you. If they feel you need to go out to meet a mate, going to clubs may not be the best way to find a lasting relationship.
My personal feeling is that there is nothing wrong with going out once in a while, if for no other reason that it gets you out of the house. I find myself getting a bit stuffy if I stay in too much.

CWOTUS's avatar

From anything that I’ve ever seen you write – and from what you present here – you are not anti-social. Not in the least, not even a little bit, and undoubtedly not. It’s a ridiculous thing for “friends” to say about you. Either they’re not friends or they just don’t know what words mean. That’s for you to decide. I’m not going to judge your choice of friends at this remove.

Now, you may very well be an introvert and “asocial” – but that does not make you “anti” social.

Crowds and groups aren’t your thing. I get it. Every other introvert gets that. Bars, parties, conferences – ugh. I hate them, too. But I’m not “anti” social. I go out of my way, sometimes far out of my way, to help other individuals (even people I don’t know) and even groups of people. I just don’t want to hang around with them afterward.

You do you.

stanleybmanly's avatar

I don’t think it one bit antisocial. For all we know the traffic in and out of your house might rival a railroad depot.

Aethelwine's avatar

I prefer being home or have a calmer night where I’m stimulated in different ways than just using the energy of my body.

This is me. I’m anti-social. I hate parties. I hate crowds. I hate social gatherings.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Nope. Your tastes are just different. Maybe at a certain age that type of activity was fun for you. You’ve been there done that and now you prefer something else.
Don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do.

Zaku's avatar

No, you’re not anti-social. You don’t like clubs. Many people don’t, and for many very reasonable reasons.

People who call people weird, anti-social, and/or lame for not enjoying or wanting to go to clubs, are projecting their shit on you, and such opinions are not worth taking seriously. They are just attacks from insecure people with problems that come out in aggressive attempts to shame others to avoid facing their own ego issues.

(One of my reasons for avoiding clubs, is because people like your “friends” tend to go to them.)

tedibear's avatar

You are not anti-social, you are an introvert. Nothing is wrong with you.

Nor is anything wrong with extroverts.

Zaku's avatar

@tedibear I wouldn’t even label the OP an introvert for what he’s written, necessarily. I know extroverts who thinks clubs are annoying, too.

Aethelwine's avatar

I don’t think there is anything wrong with being anti-social, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with being an introvert. It’s a shame the two personality types have such a bad stigma.

cutious1993's avatar

No you are not. I have never been to a club before, and I always stay in my house and chill.

jleiden222's avatar

I mean, there are people like you (which isn’t wrong). However, I would recommend being somewhat out and about so you get adjusted to the environment around you. I wish I got out more when I was young. My thought on this topic is, if you don’t get out much you may miss out on great opportunities in life like making friends or enjoying life in general. Also, looking at your environment sometimes helps people gain social skills. However, sometimes staying at home doesn’t make you anti-social. Most often, people who are social still need a break from people at some point. The only thing I would be concerned with is not getting out at all. You should go out of your house once awhile.

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