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Tbh2018's avatar

What is the best way to talk to girls?

Asked by Tbh2018 (52points) February 10th, 2018
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22 Answers

SergeantQueen's avatar

Talk to them like you would any other person? Don’t be creepy. Don’t send dick pics. Be a kind, caring person. Don’t be sexual in any way unless you know she’s okay with that.

Just be a decent person and not a creepy, overly sexual asshole

SergeantQueen's avatar

Sitting and over-analyzing how to talk to girls will just make interactions more awkward. Just be natural, normal, and decent.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Almost all my friends all my life have been guys, they treated me like a sister and I love that. If a guy treated me differently, it felt weird. Just be a friend and if it becomes more, great, but the best relationships often start as friendships.

kritiper's avatar

Be a friend.
Get them to talk about themselves.
If you’re thinking about getting laid and you think you have to act before the end of the third date, forget about it! You might get laid on the first date, or the third, or after 6 months, or never. Don’t think about it! Be a friend, and friends don’t engage in sex!
Women decide the first time they meet a guy if he’ll be a lover or a friend. There is no need to fear being a friend forever. If you’ll ever be more than a friend, you can give her a reason later to consider you as more. So don’t EVEN think about sex! If that’s all you’re after, she’ll see through you and that will be that. So be a friend!
And most important of all, be yourself!

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johnpowell's avatar

I’m not attractive enough to “pull” the ladies.

Rule #1… Never look desperate. Walk into the interaction looking for a friend. Not a kiss/bang.
Rule #2… Learn a bit about everything. Watch Jeopardy. Read some books. TV is good when you need something to talk about.
Rule #3… Listen more than you talk. But also be prepared to initiate the convo.
Rule #4… Don’t be needy

Kardamom's avatar

Talk to girls like you would talk to any people who you like and respect.

johnpowell's avatar

I will expand on this. Pretty much all my high school friends moved or made babies. I still hung out when possible with the ones that were still around. But I liked to party. And the two BBQ’s each year wasn’t enough.

Eugene is a house party town. You can walk down the street near campus and there will be 50 people on a porch. So I would walk in. Normally people didn’t give a shit. And if someone asked I would say Ryan invited me. Generally there was at least one Ryan. So I would just get a beer from my backpack and start drinking. Normally it took about 5 minutes to work my way into a conversation (know a bit about everything).

I do the same at bars. I will sit down at a table for four with a pint and a book. Eventually the seats will be needed and people will sit down down. So I wait until I can offer insight into their conversation. And then I have have sex with everyone.

johnpowell's avatar

I would also like to add that I have been on Fluther for a decade. And I read about 90% of the questions here.

So you people have been a tremendous help in learning a little bit about nearly everything.

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canidmajor's avatar

Absolutely what @SergeantQueen says in the first two posts. Best advice ever.

CWOTUS's avatar

There is no good way to talk to girls. Even other girls can’t do it. The sooner you realize this, the better.

In the first place, they act, think and speak on a plane that is not even available for access to most of us boys or men. They know about things that you don’t even know exist. (They also “know” about things which you know not to exist, but you can’t possibly convince them of that, so don’t even try.) You may know about things that they don’t know about, and of course they will (may) acknowledge that, but they’ll follow that up with a “So what?” that will make you realize that your knowledge is for naught.

Even if you can start a first conversation, and maybe follow that up days or weeks later with another, they will remember things about the previous conversation which you can’t possibly recall (sometimes because those things were not said, implied or even considered), and you’ll be at a conversational deficit position from that point on until the end of the world. The more conversation you have, then, the worse the deficit grows.

So, you can’t “talk to girls” and come out ahead. You should trust me on this, but I know that you won’t. Everyone thinks he can do it, and you will, too. I know you’re going to try, even if it kills you.

With that in mind, my best advice is this:
1. Smile and pretend to be confident. Do not show fear; they can sense fear and… well, the results are terrible to contemplate. I won’t try to frighten you here. All I’m saying is “Don’t show fear.”

2. Pretend that they are just like you. In some ways they actually are, but not in any of the ways that matter to you now if you’re just starting to notice girls and their differences from boys.

3. Say as little as possible. What you don’t say may not be held against you. It may be, anyway, but if you don’t say it – whatever it is – then it is less likely to be misunderstood, misinterpreted, mis-remembered and used against you in a subsequent conversation.

From time immemorial men have found it difficult or impossible to talk to women. This is why we have been as productive as we have been in the fields of science, invention, production, agriculture, writing… and warfare. (Not to mention sports and stand-up comedy, and pornography.)

Good luck to you. Just remember – and keep smiling as you do so! – talking to girls (and later, to women) is going to kill you, but what a way to go!

janbb's avatar

@CWOTUS Oh my goodness, you make it sound like you’re hunting a bear, not talking to another human being!

Soubresaut's avatar

Don’t go into a conversation with the goal of “coming out ahead.” That turns the conversation into a battle/debate, and the other participant(s), picking up that cue, will quite reasonably fight back or turn away.

chyna's avatar

@CWOTUS Girls are not that hard to talk to. Your insight into women may be why you found it so hard to talk to the opposite sex.

Soubresaut's avatar

@Tbh2018, if you’re asking what the best way to talk to girls is, chances are that many girls your age are asking the same thing about boys (or whoever about whichever gender they’re attracted to). Some may have it figured out, but many don’t, even if everyone acts like they do.

Beyond the advice given above—get to know them as a friend, treat them with respect, etc… I don’t know that there are any hard or fast rules. Every girls is more individual than they are “girl,” and every girl is more human than “female,” if that makes sense. (And the same for boys).

Kardamom's avatar

Gay guys/men don’t seem to have any trouble talking to girls/women because they talk to them like friends. Try just talking to people, of both sexes as if they are friends, and not necessarily potential dates.

rojo's avatar

I would say in whatever their primary language is.

CWOTUS's avatar

Jaysus, has everyone lost their sense of humor?

Hunting bears is probably safer than talking to girls, because a bear will probably only kill you and eat you at worst, or at least that is my understanding. They won’t mock you (speaking with memories of adolescence here) or torment you for years.

I do agree with the advice to not plan “to come out ahead” in such a conversation. That is far too ambitious a target, and probably not achievable. Your primary goal should be survival.~

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