General Question

flo's avatar

What should the family do if their child against them smoking and drinking?

Asked by flo (10802points) 2 weeks ago

If they ignore him/her after saying “you are just a child”, etc., and he/she runs away, what would Child Protection Services do?

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9 Answers

zenvelo's avatar

CPS would help the child find a safe environment. Usually in foster care.

stanleybmanly's avatar

what age child?

flo's avatar

I think 10 or so. He/she didn’t get far running away.

stanleybmanly's avatar

I don’t know what I would do with such a kid. But the thought made me very anxious and wary of the idea of parenthood. It turned out that we beat the odds with both of our kids, but I have no illusions about just how lucky we were.

KNOWITALL's avatar

IMO, the parents should listen to their child and knock it off. Kids need a stable, safe environment and if the child doesn’t feel safe, it can be emotionally or psychologically abusive. Trust me, been there.
As far as CPS, that differs in each area, but unless there is abuse or something other than just ‘drinking and smoking’ on occasion, the child would remain with the parents. Proving them unfit is not easy in most areas and courts like to keep kids with their parents when possible.

seawulf575's avatar

I would venture the opinion that there is far more wrong in that house than the parents smoking or drinking. Sorry, @KNOWITALL I disagree with the idea that the parents should listen to the child and knock it off. You don’t raise kids by letting them be in charge of how you live your life. But I suspect (not knowing all the details behind the scene) that the child calling them out for smoking or drinking is a symptom, not the issue. Running away is another symptom. It sounds like the parents are not paying attention to their child. Not having actual conversations with him/her. I don’t see enough data to determine why that is. Do they have problems of their own? Are they alcoholics? Do they just not have good parenting skills? But it could be that the child has emotional issues. Maybe the parents actually are good parents, but the child is just not satisfied. Maybe this is a tantrum. Unknown at this point. As for CPS, I personally feel that they should sit back and do nothing unless there is some threat to the child. Taking him out of the home might make things far worse for the child. Like me, they may not have the whole story.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@seawulf575 Both my mother and father were alcoholics for decades, I may have a very different perspective than others, which will favor the child’s rights. Everyone says you give up your right to party when you bring a child into the world, they become your priority, but not all parents can do that successfully.

seawulf575's avatar

@KNOWITALL I really do understand. My current wife and I were parents to several children that were not ours because theirs were checked out. One had a mother that was a raging alcoholic, another would run off for the weekend with some guy (flavor of the week) and leave her two girls (11 & 7) alone. We were glad to be there for those kids. My point is that kids don’t get to call the shots in the house. That doesn’t end well. However they are entitled to voice their opinions and as wise parents we should listen and consider. It might be that the answer is still “no”, but that is the role of being a parent. On the flip side, nothing is more annoying to a child than to be told no without any explanation. I always tried to tell my kids the “why” of my decisions. Even if they didn’t agree, they at least had an understanding of where I was coming from.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@seawulf575 Aw, that was sweet of you to help those kids out. :) I spent a lot of time with my friends families when things got too bad at home, so luckily I made it out before I got too damaged.

I respect telling kids ‘why’, too, that’s how I was raised. After the alcohol took over, mom changed into a totally different person, though, but at least I had a great foundation so I didn’t go to the dark side with her.

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