General Question

SarangPyo's avatar

Two guys asked me out to prom, Who should I choose?

Asked by SarangPyo (24points) 2 months ago

You see, Guy A had a crush on me since Grade 7, he was the first who asked me out to prom, through text message. Being the good person that I was, I kindly accepted it because he’s a good guy and whatnot. But having a group of friends with high standards, it didn’t go too well.

They said that he should ask me out in person, and not through some dumb text. I, on the other hand also think the same. But I tried to reason with them that Guy A was super shy in person, but they said it’s not enough of an excuse for him, because he’s a guy who’s asking me to prom.

So, the next day, my other guy friend, Guy B asked me out to prom, but this time, he asked me out in person. Thinking about it, he’s the first one who asked me to prom, so I didn’t mind it and just said, “Sure. Why not?”

But that’s my biggest mistake.

The following week, I went to school like normal, nothing unusual, just normal. As I was just enjoying my day, my classmate whispered to me that Guy A is planning a promposal for me. Of course at first I tried not to believe it. Because I already am taken by Guy B.

Lunch rolls by, and I see Guy A with his classmates holding banners with a sign “Will you go to prom with me?” and some snacks for me. I felt guilty and ashamed at myself. For once, I regretted saying yes to Guy B, because Guy A was the first one who really asked me to prom. I tried asking help through my classmates, but they all said “No, don’t accept it. You already got a date.”

So, while thinking of what will Guy B would feel, I rejected Guy A.

But honestly speaking, I wanted to go with Guy A, instead of Guy B. I talked to my friends about it, on what should I do, did do the right thing and whatnot.

But what my friend said to me, opened my eyes. “It’s not about who asked you first in person, it’s about who you want to be with.”

At that moment, I knew who I wanted to partner with. So, I talked to Guy B, saying that I want Guy A to be my partner. He said that it’s fine, but I know he isn’t fine.

So here’s my question to you all. Did I do the right thing? Call me selfish, a dumb b*tch, or whatever. But for once, just this once, I wanted something to go my way, not everyone’s way.

I always pleased everyone around me, but I never got to do that to myself. So, with this, I hope Guy A can take me back, if he’s still willing though.

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14 Answers

janbb's avatar

Guy A asked you first and you accepted him. That should have ended it. Since he’s the guy you really want to go with it’s a rare win-win where you can do the right thing and the thing you want. It was a mistake for you to accept Guy B after you had accepted Guy A. Think for yourself next time.

chyna's avatar

Don’t listen to the crowd. They don’t have your best interest at heart. They have what they want for you at heart.
You accepted the first guys date. You then rejected him when he did the proposal. Do you even still have a date with him?
If you listen to your friends, you will be dateless.

Kardamom's avatar

You were asked by guy A first, and you accepted.

Where you screwed up, and caused drama, and hurt someone’s feelings, unnecessarily, was when you ALSO said yes to guy B, and then took it back.

Imagine how it would feel if someone you really liked, who was also your friend, did that to you?

You were that person waiting for a better deal. Problem is, people aren’t deals.

Even if you “explained” to either or both of them, it would sound pretty lame. If I were you, I would let both of these guys choose new dates, and you can either stay at home, or go “stag”.

SarangPyo's avatar

Based on everyone’s opinions, I really am a piece of sh*t, no doubt about it. If that also happened to me, my heart would break too. Maybe I should just go solo, besides, they deserved someone better, better than me that is.

Kardamom's avatar

@SarangPyo

I’m guessing that you probably are not a bad person, but you really didn’t think about how your actions could affect other people. Hopefully, maybe because of this situation, you will give more thought to how you make decisions, rather than just jumping, and then changing your mind. That is how we grow.

I really think you should go by yourself, or tag along with some of your other female friends, and let these two fellows take other dates.

Usually at these kinds of events, people socialize and dance with other people too, not just their own dates. Proms can be fun, but they are not the big romantic scenes that most girls have built it up in their minds to be.

Go, but socialize with everyone. Don’t put yourself in a position of getting romantic with either of these fellows, or any other guys at this prom. Just go stag, and socialize with everyone, girls and boys alike.

If you want to remain friends with guy B, then in the days after the prom, apologize to him and just say that you screwed up. He’ll either accept that, or he won’t.

Then if you are still somewhat romantically interested in guy A, then apologize to him too and tell him that you screwed up, and then let him know that you like him, and would he consider getting a coffee with you, and see how that goes. He will either say yes or no.

In the future, try to remember that there are people with feelings involved.

Chalk this up to a learning experience, and don’t beat yourself up over it.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@sarangpo No you are not a pos, everyone makes mistakes. Apologize and go with the guy you want to go with.

Never go against your own heart for the crowd, lesson learned.

SarangPyo's avatar

Honestly speaking @KNOWITALL I don’t even know if Guy A will still accept me now, based on what just happened earlier.

SarangPyo's avatar

@Kardamom Thank you for your honest opinion. I really f*cked up big time with these guys, and I do hope they’ll forgive me for my foolishness this once.

Kardamom's avatar

@SarangPyo

You only messed up a little. This is a learning experience. Now that you know how to better handle a similar situation in the future, if you apologize to these 2 fellows, then let it go, and don’t beat yourself up about it.

We’ve all done foolish, and/or hurtful things in our youth, either because we didn’t give the situation enough thought, or we desperately wanted something and went against common sense.

I don’t think you purposely set out to hurt anyone’s feelings. So just own up, go the prom stag, have a good time, then decide how you want to move forth with these two guys.

Don’t make your situation worse by saying that you are a bad person. Make it better by owning up, and then using this experience as a learning moment.

If you can do that, you will save yourself a lot of grief in the future. We all make mistakes.

janbb's avatar

I see no reason why you shouldn’t go with the first guy who asked you if he still wants to go. Apologize the the second but you don’t need to go stag unless Guy A won’t go with you. You goofed up but no need to flagellate yourself.

kritiper's avatar

Whoever asked first.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Your guy A obviously wanted very much to take you. You say he is very shy, but he made that big public gesture with a banner. He even got his friends involved.
I think you should explain to guy B, then make an apology which is grand enough to make up for guy A’s hurt and embarrassment. Maybe you could make a batch of his favorite cookies, then use icing to write I’m sorry on each of them, then give them to him at lunch. He can then share them with his helpful buddies. Include a card or note which says you really want to go with him, if he is still interested in taking you.

Zaku's avatar

@SarangPyo It is not that you are a bad person. You made mistakes, and now realize the mistakes. So just apologize to the people you know you have apologies to make, and then do your best.

gorillapaws's avatar

@SarangPyo “I really am a piece of sh*t, no doubt about it.”

All people make mistakes, the true mark of a person’s character is how they handle their mistakes. I think Guy A is the right choice. Apologize and do right by him. Also apologize to guy B, and admit that you made a mistake when you accepted his offer, because you had already told Guy A yes. Offer to take Guy B on a date (your treat) to make up for it.

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