Social Question

yesitszen's avatar

Other than "insert here", I tolerate just about everyone?

Asked by yesitszen (1597points) 4 weeks ago

I like to think I am a tolerant person. I am for equal rights for all, marriage etc., anti racists…

Yet, I can’t seem to shake off my impatience towards, ahem, larger people. And smokers.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

39 Answers

Response moderated (Flame-Bait)
Response moderated (Personal Attack)
rebbel's avatar

I pity racists (I can’t hate them; imagine having been raised by racists parents…).
I dislike liars.
I tolerate, I like to believe, everybody.

What do you actually mean with “I’m for equal rights for all (..).....anti racists”?

josie's avatar

I sort of share your sentiments.
Although I still have a couple of buddies who smoke (but not in my house) so I guess I can tolerate it. Plus I used to smoke. As a former sinner, I hate to preach.

I am also impatient with, ahem, those folks, especially on airplanes.
Maybe the Saudis
Other than that, I’m good to go.

notnotnotnot's avatar

Could you define what you mean by tolerate and impatience?

kritiper's avatar

Maybe you dwell on it too much.

rebbel's avatar

Wow, nice way to open a thread on tolerance and hate…

ragingloli's avatar

Nazis. In whatever form they come, with whatever name they give themselves.
No point in talking to them. No point in trying to convince them. No need to teach them lessons in humanity. Nazi ain’t got no humanity and they need to be dee-stroyed.
And my coworker.

tinyfaery's avatar

I can tolerate (and by tolerate I mean be polite and not cause friction in inappropriate settings) just about anyone who isn’t related to me; most of my family is wackadoo. Now if you ask me if I can accept everyone or condone everyone’s beliefs and/or behaviors the answer is no and the list is long.

If someone can tolerate white supremacists, animal abuse, mass murder, and all number of horrific beliefs and behaviors, but not overweight people, well, that’s just abhorrent.

SaganRitual's avatar

As others have pointed out, “tolerance” is too subjective to have a meaningful conversation. You haven’t been specific enough. Therefore, you must be punished. Hence the following rambler. Feel free to skip to the final four words and claim that you read the whole thing.

I don’t think of it in terms of people I can tolerate, or what kind of people. If I smell cigarette smoke, I’m going to move away, never mind how I feel about the people doing it. And that works out really well anyway, because then I don’t have to tolerate smokers, regardless of what the word means.

Fat people aren’t hurting me. If my eyes hurt when I look at them, it’s not their job to lose weight; it’s my job to refrain from looking. It’s my job to take care of my own feelings and needs. Do I feel angry at them for being fat? No. Would I ever say something to them out of “kindness”? No. It’s none of my business. Well, it is, a little, because they’re forcing me to pay higher insurance premiums, but I won’t bother them personally about that; I’ll just email my congressional representatives to fix our health care and insurance crisis, and to invest more heavily in encouraging people to live healthier. Their individual personal lives are none of my business.

I do feel angry when I see fat kids. Their parents are doing them great harm. But really, we as a society are doing them great harm. We never helped the parents learn how to take care of themselves, and they went and had a kid (we really should require people to take a class or something). Out of the million reasons for them to fail their kids, at least half of the reasons are due to our failure to the parents as citizens. So I feel angry that we don’t take better care of each other.

I feel angry about people being treated badly due to their race. Jews and black people especially, given that history has conspired to oppress them the worst. But then, it’s not just racist behavior that I feel angry about; it’s any kind of bigotry-driven behavior. I don’t really care whether someone is a bigot; I only care about their behavior. If someone hates gays, or gingers, or owners of Jack Russel terriers, I don’t care, as long as they’re not hurting anyone. If they start making slurs or going on angry tirades, I’ll walk away, and again, never mind how I feel about them as a person.

There are a lot of reasons for being a racist. Not good reasons, but reasons nonetheless. I grew up in a culture where the “n-word” was just barely starting to be taboo. My grandparents both said it without apology; they never said “black person”. Were they racist? I guess we’d have to talk about what “racist” means. They had some prejudices, but that word in particular wasn’t an expression of prejudice. They certainly feared black people. My grandfather had a dim view of them, although he was perfectly happy to see his favorite sports teams winning because of them. Racism? Who knows.

So, “tolerate”. Does it mean sit and put up with bad smells and health hazards rather than walking away? No, I won’t tolerate such things; I’ll walk away. Does it mean don’t get angry? Then I’m a really intolerant person, especially with respect to the way we are sitting around while Mr Swamp-Drainer turns out to have been preparing the swamp for high-rise luxury alligator condos. Does it mean mind my own business? Yeah, I tolerate many things. Does it mean don’t judge people? Well, I don’t think anyone can suppress their immediate reactions to things; we don’t have complete control over our basic impulses. If I see two big, burly men with beards making out, I’m not going to judge them, but I’m going to be grossed out, just for a second. Is that intolerance? Oh well, sue me.

canidmajor's avatar

@tinyfaery, my feelings exactly. “I can tolerate Nazis and pedophiles as long as they aren’t fat and/or smoke.”

yesitszen's avatar

A poorly worded question with little aforethought.

SergeantQueen's avatar

@rebbel My parents are racists, I like to think, however, that I have educated myself enough to not believe what they say and therefore, not be a racist, but some people believe everyone is a little racist so who knows¯\(ツ)
Some people don’t grow out of their parent’s political beliefs and that can sometimes be very sad depending on the context. (I am definitely not as extreme as they are.)

josie's avatar

@yesitszen

I took it to be tongue in cheek.

It’s easy to forget how unhappy so many of the people on this site often appear to be.

You forgot that there is prescribed category of people who must be tolerated, and another prescribed category that must not be tolerated.

I make the same mistake frequently.

Love_my_doggie's avatar

Neo-Nazis
any kind of Nazi
Sex offenders
Bullies

Demosthenes's avatar

Tolerance is, for the most part, a BS concept.

It seems to exist only to catch people in a “gotcha” moment. “Oh you say you’re tolerant, but you don’t tolerate racists? Well then you’re just as intolerant as they are. Actually you’re worse because at least they’re honest about their intolerance! You’re intolerant and a liar!”

I tolerate an itch, but I still want it to go away and never return. If that’s how I feel about people I tolerate, then I’m not much of a step above hating them.

notnotnotnot's avatar

@josie: “You forgot that there is prescribed category of people who must be tolerated, and another prescribed category that must not be tolerated.”

This is not a thing, no matter how many times conservatives claim it is.

But if you’re willing to put in the effort to explain what you mean by “tolerate”, and make your case, I’d love to hear what you think is going on.

notnotnotnot's avatar

Just to be clear – while I am not a liberal and do not feel that “tolerance” has any real meaning, it’s clear that conservatives/racists/etc have weaponized the term and applied it to some kind of mythical concept of the liberal. It goes something like this.

liberal: I am tolerant.

conservative: I hate fags.

liberal: That opinion is not to be tolerated.

conservative: So much for being “tolerant”, you hypocrite.

Besides the fact that “tolerant” is not well defined in use here, I have never met a liberal that claimed to be “tolerant” of ideas/concepts/political beliefs. But conservatives continue use this to defend their shitty beliefs. They are likely aware of what they are doing, and know the inherent problems with the approach. So, it’s very dishonest because we all know what game is being played.

I’d love to hear from a liberal who does find utility in the word “tolerance”. How do they use it, etc.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I guess I take tolerance on an individual basis. Some people don’t deserve to be tolerated (like trump.)

ragingloli's avatar

Tolerance is in regards to things that do not adversely affect others.
Like gay marriage, or weed.

yesitszen's avatar

“Short people got nobody. Short people got no reason to live.” Randy Neuman

rebbel's avatar

Newman.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I can tolerate almost anything other than pedophiles and abusers.

As for tolerance in general, my levels are very high but I have zero tolerance for verbal and physical abuse.

Brian1946's avatar

@rebbel

“Wow, nice way to open a thread on tolerance and hate…”

Are you referring to the moderated responses at the top of this thread?

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

I have an acute non-tolerance for people who are so ideological that they’re willing to consider those with a difference of opinion as enemies.

kritiper's avatar

I don’t discriminate. I hate everybody.

Response moderated (Obscene)
Response moderated
Response moderated
Response moderated
Response moderated
Response moderated
Response moderated
Response moderated
Response moderated
SQUEEKY2's avatar

Idiot drivers that are absolutely clueless about transport trucks.
Have no use for them should be rounded up and just plain shot.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Parent’s who use their child as weapons to get even with people that the kids love, for imaginary wrongs.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

Other than fools who refuse to vaccinate their children…..

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther