General Question

roxy's avatar

It's my turn - What are 5 things a guy wishes that a women knew?

Asked by roxy (69points) August 21st, 2008

What do men really want from a women they love and care about? We are talking emotions guys – not sex..

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

210 Answers

jrpowell's avatar

I always thought that was the fun of things. Everyone is different. I enjoy learning the little quirks that other people have. I enjoy learning their likes and dislikes. I enjoy talking to them about what they like and what they hate. There isn’t a formula. You can’t force/act someone to love you.

So I guess I can’t really answer this question and should have kept my mouth shut.

* digs out my moms copy of Cosmo from the 80’s * that had all the answers

roxy's avatar

Thats not really what I meant. I just wanted to know what a guy would like what a girl would do in a certain situation as in loyalty issues or something of that nature.

Harp's avatar

I’m always surprised at how complex women seem to think we guys are in relationship matters. Even this question implies that there’s some deeper, hidden algorithm that drives us in our dealings with women. Maybe I shouldn’t speak for my whole gender, but I feel pretty safe in saying that we don’t devote great heaps of mental or emotional energy to the subtleties of relationships.

Look around on Fluther at all of the “relationship” questions (and there are a ton of them), and see who’s asking them. Guys? Nope. Why? Because we’re not really wondering about that stuff. And it’s not because we “just don’t care”, either. It just all looks so much simpler from our end, that all of that reflection and angst just isn’t called for.

roxy's avatar

I know.This is funny you say this because I’m always telling my friends the very same thing but I think deep down we want to believe that men are deep and just hide it..
Lol….

jrpowell's avatar

@roxy… We are deep. It is just defined differently.

edit :: and I’m not really sure how to define deep.

roxy's avatar

Just not deep in the same way about the same things like feelings…
Right?

jrpowell's avatar

I totally don’t mind my girlfriend sleeping around. I don’t have feelings for her. Now pass the Vodka.

Larssenabdo's avatar

@Harp, agree. There is not much to solve; wysiwyg.

As Harp points out, I don’t know if you can generalize these rules to everyone, but here are a few.

- Just because I’m quiet doesn’t mean something is wrong.
– When you want me to ‘talk about’ something that is bothering me, that implies you don’t think I can solve it for myself.
– Tell me what the point of your monologue is, otherwise I am searching for the action verb. I’m trying to figure out what you want me to do. Say something like, “This has nothing to do with you, I just want you to listen.”
– If you say “Nothing’s wrong,” I’ll take you at your word. (Well, not anymore. I hope I’ve learned something!)
– I really don’t get the big deal about a card.

El_Cadejo's avatar

Only one thing. How to search.

roxy's avatar

- Just because I’m quiet doesn’t mean something is wrong.- bullshit! At least admit you are bored..
– When you want me to ‘talk about’ something that is bothering me, that implies you don’t think I can solve it for myself.- That is your own insecurities talking.

– Tell me what the point of your monologue is, otherwise I am searching for the action verb. I’m trying to figure out what you want me to do. Say something like, “This has nothing to do with you, I just want you to listen.” – people do want you to come up with solutions but not to force them down their throat.

– If you say “Nothing’s wrong,” I’ll take you at your word. (Well, not anymore. I hope I’ve learned something!)- wrong answer! Women want you to make them spill the beans…

jrpowell's avatar

The search function sucks

Or…..

Harp's avatar

Warning! Warning! You can’t win this one Lars

Larssenabdo's avatar

Thx. Danger Will Robinson; got it.
So, going to give the cat a bath…later.

phred78's avatar

I think they like to come up with new problems just so they can put up a fight. Girls hate it when things are perfect :P

roxy's avatar

not funny

roxy's avatar

not true we just want love….

jrpowell's avatar

phred78 Is an idiot. And I swing a penis.

jrpowell's avatar

A tiny one.. But it moves when I walk.

roxy's avatar

any hot guys here with half a brain?

jrpowell's avatar

lefteh is hot and smart and funny. But, he is only 16. /hands off/

roxy's avatar

no thanks.

El_Cadejo's avatar

- Just because I’m quiet doesn’t mean something is wrong.- bullshit! At least admit you are bored..

(bullshit, just because we are quiet doesnt mean we are bored either, just quite nothings wrong)

– When you want me to ‘talk about’ something that is bothering me, that implies you don’t think I can solve it for myself.- That is your own insecurities talking.

(not really going to touch this one, really just depends on situation, but half the time, its easier to just solve your problem yourself than “talk about it”)

– Tell me what the point of your monologue is, otherwise I am searching for the action verb. I’m trying to figure out what you want me to do. Say something like, “This has nothing to do with you, I just want you to listen.” – people do want you to come up with solutions but not to force them down their throat

.(you really dont understand how different men and woman are do you? men think very linear women not so much. it confuses us when you go off on these big stories.)

– If you say “Nothing’s wrong,” I’ll take you at your word. (Well, not anymore. I hope I’ve learned something!)- wrong answer! Women want you to make them spill the beans…

(thats bullshit that we have to make you spill the beans, just fucking tell us from the get go that way we dont have to play fucking guessing games, and you dont get mad when we dont know whats “really bothering you”)

shrubbery's avatar

lefteh is 16? really?

roxy's avatar

Well when us women do tell you guys you think were trippin anyways so what’s the point?? I give up..

jrpowell's avatar

16, he is crazy smart.

shrubbery's avatar

shit mate. I feel very stoopid now

El_Cadejo's avatar

trippin??? why? you take acid or something? =P

maybe your just not talking to the right guys ;)

Larssenabdo's avatar

@roxy, yeah. I have well more than half a brain and I’m actually fairly considerate; I have references that as boyfriends go, I’m a good one.
Did we used to date or something?

roxy's avatar

Maybe not.I just can’t talk to guys it seems unless their just friends.

roxy's avatar

lol maybe in another life honey.

Larssenabdo's avatar

whoa. Me three.

El_Cadejo's avatar

ut ohhh someone may be changing teams soon lol

roxy's avatar

Where are you all from???
I live i cali

shrubbery's avatar

But you guys are uber smart too. I’m the same age as him but aahh could never compare. I wonder if his ears are burning right now :P

Hobart.

roxy's avatar

Too far though lol…

jrpowell's avatar

What part of Cali?

roxy's avatar

redlands ca. 1 hour from LA

Larssenabdo's avatar

HOBART? Go All Blacks!

roxy's avatar

white and half spanish

phred78's avatar

It all goes down to the same thing, over and over again: we can pee standing.

shrubbery's avatar

do you mean the wallabies perhaps?

jrpowell's avatar

I went to Cope Jr. High. I used to live in Redlands.

Larssenabdo's avatar

they are my second favorite

roxy's avatar

hey, that’s great!

shrubbery's avatar

oh haha just checking you didn’t think hobart was in nz or anything :P

jrpowell's avatar

I miss the Orange groves.. (probably sold by now)

roxy's avatar

never heard of it.I used to live in barstow (Montara) then in Needles ca. (colorado river)
needled high – then sanbernardino – san g bla bla bla…
I do know the orange grove though

roxy's avatar

I just moved to redlands it;‘s real pretty here and very quiet

Larssenabdo's avatar

anyone but the springboks!! actually, I’m down with the wallabies except against NZ. I think the Haka’s got me.

tedibear's avatar

Roxy – I would suggest that you read “You Just Don’t Understand” by Deborah Tannen. It will give you a great deal of insight into the conversations that you are struggling to have with men. There are so many differences in our communication styles and this will help you to understand them better.

roxy's avatar

What is the wallabies?
Did I miss something??

shrubbery's avatar

haha aww poor springboks, my dad’s side of the family is south african so unless it’s against the wallabies I have to say they’re my next choice :P but then again my boyfriend is a kiwi… oops. stuck. haha. we well and truly hijacked this thread didn’t we…

Larssenabdo's avatar

Tedibear! MWAH!

roxy's avatar

I’ve always had a lot of male friends and get along great with them but when it comes to b.f’s I don’t know. Guys are just on another level of emotions that I don’t get.

Larssenabdo's avatar

lol @roxy, sorry, Shrubbs said Hobart and in my tiny mind, that goes directly to Wallabies, which goes to rugby, which goes to All-Blacks.

tedibear's avatar

Roxy – that’s exactly why you need to read this book! It will help you figure out what’s going on in there.

@Lars – good morning! Just left you a message.

shrubbery's avatar

Haha, sort of still on topic… guys wish that girls knew that their thoughts always somehow go back to sports?

roxy's avatar

cool I looked at the apartments.How did you do that.Google earth?

jrpowell's avatar

Google maps. That was my old apartment building.

roxy's avatar

That is so weird.I was looking on brookside for apartments there before I found this place!!

tedibear's avatar

@shrubbery – sports, sex or beer! LoL!

roxy's avatar

I live near there

Harp's avatar

Um, actually, no Shrub. their minds go somewhere else first, then it’s a striaght shot from there over to sports

jrpowell's avatar

Is Del Taco still around?

roxy's avatar

yeah its down the street.I live off of Fern.

shrubbery's avatar

oh, oops, my bad… guess that’s why I’m a girl. someone on here thought I was a middle aged man for some reason :P

jrpowell's avatar

We don’t have those up here. And I miss them.

jrpowell's avatar

But I like to drink.

roxy's avatar

really.What about bakers?We have everything on redlands blvd.
It’s too tempting lol..

jrpowell's avatar

I loved Bakers… I would get a few baby bakers and be set for the night.

roxy's avatar

lol.. I like the mama burgers but too fatning..

shrubbery's avatar

baby bakers?

jrpowell's avatar

I liked buying a lot of the little kid combos.

roxy's avatar

there cheap I know.I vowed to stop eating out for the next 6 months to lose my baby fat..
Even though im 36 lollllllllllllllll..

shrubbery's avatar

haha you sound like you’re buying babies and kids to eat!

tedibear's avatar

Yeah, like Shrubbery said – bakers?

jrpowell's avatar

I’m 30.. I loved the stuff.

jrpowell's avatar

I would still love it if we had one here.

roxy's avatar

well if you read my previous post I gained 20 pds in the last year since I moved here.
Very depressing.So I am being a good girl and trying to get back in shape..
I just might have to fid a new man since my old one is no longer with me..

roxy's avatar

Just thought I’d share my depression with you.

jrpowell's avatar

You live in the land of swimming pools. Break into them at night and take a dip.

tedibear's avatar

@roxy – if I can lose the weight that I’ve lost in the past year, you can lose your 20 pounds!!!

And still I ask, what is Bakers???

jrpowell's avatar

Bakers is a fast food place local to socal.

roxy's avatar

I don’t know anyone here with a pool or else I would.and I hate public pools, I think they are gross!

tedibear's avatar

Ah-ha! Thank your johnpowell! I was guessing that, but wasn’t sure.

And yes, roxy, public pools are a bit scary.

jrpowell's avatar

When we broke into pools we were 13.

roxy's avatar

Yeah right I think I’ll go pick up on the youngsters that hang out in bakers.
Their only 20 years younger,no biggie..
Eewwwwwwwwwwwwww..

roxy's avatar

I work out at home.Thats good enough for me.

jrpowell's avatar

Maybe I didn’t notice. But I never remember seeing a Bar/Club in Redlands.

roxy's avatar

Yeah theres a lot of bars here with actually pretty hot guys but I don’t go out much.
I really don’t want to meet someone at a bar.

jrpowell's avatar

That was an observation. They litter the PNW. And I like litter.

roxy's avatar

Sorry.I keep talking about meeting someone,it’s on the brain.
I’m mad at my x and want to get over it I guess.

jrpowell's avatar

It gets hard to meet people as you embrace being 30+.

jrpowell's avatar

I lie about my age at the bar. And I am male and 30.

roxy's avatar

Well to be honest I haven’t tried to meet anyone obviously.
I am still good looking not to conceted (how do you spell that?)

jrpowell's avatar

conceited

roxy's avatar

oh ok thanks

jrpowell's avatar

I had to google it. I suck at spelling.

roxy's avatar

I think I can still meet someone now but I fear that in a couple of years maybe I won’t?
Age sometimes sneaks up on you.

roxy's avatar

Would you like to see a pic of me?

augustlan's avatar

@All: lefteh is not only young, he’s gay, too…so double hands off for an older woman!

jrpowell's avatar

But age sneaks up on everyone. Someone will always die at 25, 30 ,40, 60, 80. There is always opportunities.

jrpowell's avatar

And that sounded really bad.

roxy's avatar

Thats bad and scary..

jrpowell's avatar

There was a sitcom where the two males went through the obituaries to find recently single women. I can’t remember what the show was.

jrpowell's avatar

Part of me says Full House. But I could be wrong.

roxy's avatar

That’s horrible!!!!!
God..

roxy's avatar

So what made you come on this site?

shrubbery's avatar

12 people are observing your conversation :P

eambos's avatar

Isn’t Jake Bi? He can have whoever he wants!

breedmitch's avatar

Well, there’s ten minutes of my life I’ll never get back. Yes, Jake says he’s bi, but so did I at his age.

crunchaweezy's avatar

discussion of epic fail.

I had a hard time reading the whole conversation, we’re on like 10 different topics..

Phillyzero's avatar

Do fluther questions ever get “locked” for being off topic and such?

roxy's avatar

Do you work online at all?

roxy's avatar

Is this convo boring everyone??

shrubbery's avatar

It didn’t bore me… but then again I was here from the start. Are we all going to get removed by mods?

roxy's avatar

why would we?

Phillyzero's avatar

120+ posts, most of which culminating in a lengthy discussion about food, sprinkled with questions regarding lefteh’s sexuality. Quite entertaining on this working morning nonetheless.

augustlan's avatar

Sorry if I got it wrong re: leftah…I have seen older posts where he said he’s bi, but newer where he said gay

jrpowell's avatar

I think we should have a daily whatever question. An “open question” to steal the idea from the Daily Kos. A general talk about whatever question. An open question to just bullshit about anything.

shrubbery's avatar

That’s a good idea jp. Cause this was fun. except it’s 12am and I have school tomorrow. Hopefully this will keep going. Goodnight all!

yannick is stoopid :D

roxy's avatar

It’s almost 7 AM here and i’ve been up all night!!

yannick's avatar

Awh maan, I missed an awesome thread hijack. Ah well, i that case…

Someone thought shrubbery was a man because she has a penis.
I’ve seen it
Betting you all 5 bucks this’ll get removed by the mods very quickly

Well I’m off to bed!

roxy's avatar

aren’t we supposed to be talking crap about website businesses?
Lolllllllllllllllllll…...............................

shrubbery's avatar

hey! that was a little harsh. well guess what? you don’t have a penis, let alone balls.

roxy's avatar

I think the topic for the day should be everyone confess to one thing that they did that is supposed to be a secret – kind of like truth or dare..
Whatcha all think?

jrpowell's avatar

I woke up at around 4PM on Tuesday in the hospital bed. I am still awake. Almost up for 39 hours. When I awake it will be on Monday. Sigh..

jrpowell's avatar

We do truth or dare in the chat room.

shrubbery's avatar

this is pretty much the chat room today jp…

Phillyzero's avatar

Where’s the chatroom, is that in the Campfire group?

roxy's avatar

well ive never done it,I don’t go in chat rooms..

yannick's avatar

well this is getting personal! ps you’re a geek

jrpowell's avatar

The chat room is really slow here. It is friendly and isn’t hard to jump into.

roxy's avatar

thank you.

crunchaweezy's avatar

roxy I know you want to vent, but god this fookin discussion is fail. all of it.

shrubbery's avatar

I’m a nerd, actually. You’re the geek. Now let’s stop this, we’re really overly hijacking the thread now. Leave me be!

roxy's avatar

well i’m just trying to spice it up

yannick's avatar

yeah. It lets my type slowly and retardedly. (im lying on my side in bed).
And I agree with crunchaweezy, this is mega FAIL.

shrubbery's avatar

don’t be so cynical guys :P

yannick's avatar

Admit it. 100-odd answers, probably only about 10 or 20 that actually relate to the question… =P

shrubbery's avatar

So what? The question has been asked before to which links were provided. And then the asker proceeded to join in with the conversation so no problem there.

yannick's avatar

I never said there was a problem! stupid bush.

jrpowell's avatar

30+ or so that were written by the person that asked the question.

yannick's avatar

Haha, true true jp

crunchaweezy's avatar

and she didn’t even receive any lurve luv.

fail. shit she must be paying all of you

shrubbery's avatar

stupid janek.

yannick's avatar

That was a crap comeback. But we should really stop the name-calling, I’m trying to find a scrubs disc and i cant :(

jrpowell's avatar

I got paid one Baby Baker combo meal. 1.99$ in 1995.

shrubbery's avatar

you started it. poor you. too bad you’re so picky about pirated copies.

I still think the baby baker sounds like you’re going to eat baked babies.

hey hey hey crunch, it’s actually ‘bored idiots’...

crunchaweezy's avatar

Why so serious?

shrubbery's avatar

should I put tildes at the end of all my sentences? I don’t mean to sound serious, sorry… it’s all just a bit of fun

eambos's avatar

Migrate to el chatroom-o?

yannick's avatar

who said what now..? maaan. no luck. I give up.

crunchaweezy's avatar

Migrate to el BED-o

yannick's avatar

Woo! newcomer to the party!

shrubbery's avatar

But there’s no-one in the chat room! And I second that crunch. I am officially leaving this thread. For now… muahahaha. GOODNIGHT!

He was here before you yannick :P

eambos's avatar

Im a ninja. I’ve been here, just in the shaddows <.<

yannick's avatar

Me too. Eambos has repelled us with his jellyfish smell, even if he was here all along. Sneaky ninjas…

eambos's avatar

Dont go, miss alison! Who needs school anyway?

eambos's avatar

You are all on Tasmania? I want to live there…

yannick's avatar

I’m going to sleep. Goodnight! ps shrubbery will kill you, it’s alison with 1 ‘l’. haha…

eambos's avatar

Oh no, all fixed!

Me so sorry!

shrubbery's avatar

haha I won’t kill you, just don’t do it again. haha joke. And it’s Tasmania :P

you’re just lucky I don’t have a class at your school tomorrow yannick cause I would have hunted you down and killed you…

yannick's avatar

:O he used a ‘z’! thats ‘zed’, not ‘zee’. haha…

eambos's avatar

I spelled it right.

shrubbery's avatar

Haha nevermind. People get us mixed up with Tanzania… at least you know where we are, right?

yannick's avatar

Forget it shrub, our superior intelligence is lost on him…

eambos's avatar

South of the big island of australia. I want to train one of the devils to be a guard animal (are they closer to dogs or cats?)

shrubbery's avatar

Hey don’t diss Eambos, he’s a rower. And yes you’re right wooo prize for you!
Umm… both really?

eambos's avatar

I good rower to boot. I just did a 6:53 on a 2000m erg piece!

yannick's avatar

Pff, rowers are gay. * runs as fast as possible *

eambos's avatar

I can run faster. hehehe

shrubbery's avatar

hahahaha. just you wait yannick, when I see you next…
shit mate! good job!

eambos's avatar

What’s your best 2k piece?

yannick's avatar

Hehehe… im off. seriously. bye bye. And maybe you can run faster but I am a better ninja than you.

shrubbery's avatar

I feel like such a thread hog. I think we should migrate this to the chat room? No way, I’m the best Ninja. I can ninja out my window without someone hearing in the next room.

eambos's avatar

I’m in your closet. Didn’t see that coming, did you?

shrubbery's avatar

Hahahahaha omg I actually looked…...

eambos's avatar

Dont bother looking, I’m already gone.

shrubbery's avatar

Hahaha one morning in the winter when it was still dark at training two of my friends decked out in complete black clothes and beanies and were ninja-ing their way around the boat sheds. funny as

crunchaweezy's avatar

Spam at it’s finest ;p
Spam at it’s finest ;p
Spam at it’s finest ;p
Spam at it’s finest ;p
Spam at it’s finest ;p
Spam at it’s finest ;p
Spam at it’s finest ;p

crunchaweezy's avatar

Spam at it’s finest ;p
Spam at it’s finest ;p
Spam at it’s finest ;p
Spam at it’s finest ;p
Spam at it’s finest ;p

crunchaweezy's avatar

Spam at it’s finest ;p
Spam at it’s finest ;p
Spam at it’s finest ;p
Spam at it’s finest ;p
Spam at it’s finest ;p
Spam at it’s finest ;p

shrubbery's avatar

ok chat room or I’m going to bed…

eambos's avatar

On my way!

shrubbery's avatar

sweet. Now where are all the original founders of this conversation? you should come back and keep going :P

crunchaweezy's avatar

I always hear about this chat room, where the fook is it? It’s like talking about Area 51!

shrubbery's avatar

I’ll PM you the link.

roxy's avatar

Well everyone sure forgot about me fast huh

crunchaweezy's avatar

Yeah nobody cares about you, leave.

trumi's avatar

Jesus, I fall asleep like 20 minutes early and miss the conversation of the month!

And by the way, Lefteh’s sexuality (whatever it is or isn’t) is still kind of on the DL in the real world. For those of you that didn’t already know. (So that excludes John)

trumi's avatar

Hmm? Not at the moment, but maybe in a few minutes.

roxy's avatar

I was talking to crunchasleezy

trumi's avatar

Oh, he probably is right now.

:D

roxy's avatar

I wouldn’t be surprised

flameboi's avatar

ohhh I missed all the fun….

crunchaweezy's avatar

When roxy said “surprised” i blew it.

stevenb's avatar

@roxy, I wish you luck with men. If you aproach (sp) guys an just start talking you shouldn’t have much problem meeting them. Try Home depot or lumber stores, or better yet, TOOL STORES! My wife and mother in law also have been hit on exceedingly at fishing/ sporting goods stores. Five things I wish women knew…..
We love looking at you, even when you think you look bad, you are beautiful to us.
Give me a wicked kiss and I’ll give you anything.
Holding your hand feels good to us too.
We don’t care I you gain 20lbs if you are still healthy.
We don’t mind listening to your problems or venting, just tell us in a straight forward way, and let us know if you want help or just want to have our ear fir a bit.
We like when you look at us like a piece of meat once in a while and just pounce on us!
I could list more, but I may be off of what you originally wanted. Good luck and welcome to Fluther!

stevenb's avatar

@johnpowell, are you Seattle, I am in Spokane. We have several Del Tacos here. If your this way, shout and I’ll tell you where.

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