How can I (any person) be more positive and encouraging?
Asked by
Yellowdog (
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February 14th, 2019
Maybe its only in T.V. or with certain actors and musicians and motivation speakers who do it as an illusion or act, for money.
But remember the warmth and engaging personalities of people from the golden age of television—or the amical personalities of Jim Nabors, Liberace, John Denver? Even amid turbulent times of the 1960s and ‘70s we had folk rock singers, John Denver, etc. who had very positive things to say.
One of my friends tells me that she needs me to be more encouraging. I know exactly what she means. I am jaded and cynical. I am a nice person and strive to be generous and helpful whenever I am able, but admit I am a pessimist and live in fear and anxiety and never say what I don’t feel because it seems phony.
But even in the sphere of my own limited world, I know therapists, counselors, clergy, even professors—who are either upbeat or motivational or encouraging. And again, just for the encouragement and help to others, I long to be more like those confident and amiable personalities who, even in the turbulent and almost violent and hard 1960s, conveyed warmth and friendliness
Surely it was more than just fakery and acting.
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14 Answers
If you feel warmth (for others, ánd yourself) in your heart, let simply your heart speak out.
Can’t be any simpler.
Thé way to connect on a loving/lovely level.
Works for me anyway.
Practice, man. You can have some success changing your behavior. I’ve tried to be more like Auggie….well, I’ve tried, anyway! Practice practice until you don’t have to stop and think about it any more.
I believe it begins with gratitude. I start each day naming 3 things I’m grateful for, and I end each day naming the things I’m grateful happened that day. That really is the key. My good attitude springs from that.
I like that @hawaii Jake! I want to start doing that myself.
I would suggest perspective shift, but in order to do that, people generally need to get perspectives that show them the things they don’t see/know/understand/get yet about their own conditioned behaviors and perspectives.
The fastest way I know to do that, is to take the Landmark Forum program, though of course there are many ways.
Being jaded and cynical doesn’t sound fun, but I know exactly what you mean, and often feel the same way. The thing that I try to remember, is that other people feel like we do and need more positivity.
The world isn’t such a great place right now for positivity, whether it’s political, social media about politics, world affairs, the environment, I think it’s really hard for some of us to stay positive right now. We’re literally being bombarded with negativity.
I try to make time for friends and family more so now, pay attention to what they’re really saying or how they’re acting, checking myself so I’m not adding to the negativity. I know you’re a Christian, and Jesus wants us to spread love, show compassion and help others. Maybe just try to focus on sharing the light with others, we all need it more now than ever.
Think of what you’ve got and what you might achieve rather on what you haven’t got and what is out of your reach. Consider the children in your neighbourhood and how happy they are playing together just for the joy of being alive.
I agree with @DutchessIII. Use our own sweet Auggie’s words to help you. She was one of the strongest, kindest, wisest people I ever knew.
Look up Augustlan’s profile and see what she had to say, on all sorts of subjects. You will most likely be inspired.
For another perspective, from another smart, compassionate, strong woman, read some of these quotations by First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt: https://www.goalcast.com/2017/04/25/top-eleanor-roosevelt-quotes-inspire-greatness/
Surround yourself with people who are positive and happy, stop watching politics for a few weeks, don’t listen to talk radio for a few weeks, and decide not to dwell on negativity. Fill some time with friends or hobbies or just watching some fun programs on TV. Try it as a test.
Some sycophantic answers here there really are. Being a positive, good person is easy when you’re naturally that way, your instincts will guide you along. Those that aren’t that way will always find it hard or will fake it, much like we see here.
Looks like your problem is that you expect too much from the world. Lower your expectation, and strive to be someone you expect people to be.
Sometimes the best thing to do is ask people what support looks like to them. Maybe your friend isn’t looking for you to say overused phrases like, “Everything always turns out fine.” Maybe she just wants to hear the good things about her so that her self-esteem can be boosted. It can be really hard to be positive all the time, but usually we can be supportive of the people we love and already see the good in. Otherwise it doesn’t sound genuine.
If that’s not what you’re talking about, and she wants you to stop being so negative, come up with a code word. Use it when she notices you becoming negative, and switch the topic. It’ll help your mood and her mood. Sometimes we get stuck talking about the negative and bring ourselves and others down. Good luck!!!
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