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jca2's avatar

What are some of your life's stressors right now?

Asked by jca2 (11658points) March 23rd, 2019

I was just in the car and they were talking about this question. They said for a lot of people, their stressors are cracked cell phone screen or lost their password to something.

Those seem simplistic but I guess for some people, those might be all there are.

I was thinking of larger issues, like financial, job, relationship, car. Those are not my stressors, but those are things I would think of as possible types of answers to the question.

What are yours?

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43 Answers

canidmajor's avatar

For a large demographic, @jca2, an enormous amount of pertinent data is stored on their phones, so loss of passwords or a cracked screen could cause big stress. Being unable to access financial data, schedules, business opportunities, stuff like that. My daughter essentially runs her small service business from her phone, as it is more portable than even her laptop.

For me, at this point in my life, the big stressors are family issues.

JLeslie's avatar

A week ago I found out the person who prepares my taxes fucked up. She told me I’ll be owing the ACA payback, which will be over $8,000. I had emailed her in November with my projected numbers for the year, and she said I should be fine. I asked her if I should do a SEP or something similar at the time (I really didn’t know much about those sort of vehicles) and again she said no, and said I sold my business.

Well, come to find out she didn’t run the numbers I had given her, she barely paid attention I think. I’ve been researching like crazy, and I could have last year done a Simple IRA or Self Employed 401k, and I’d be getting back $2k instead of owing over $8k. I’m sick about it, and angry.

It seems I can do a SEP still, which means I’ll maybe only lose about $4k instead.

Gawd, it’s just really really difficult for me to handle knowing more than the experts and professionals. This feels so much to me like the problems I have with doctors.

I still feel like I need to ask 10 accountants if I can do the SEP, to make sure it doesn’t come back to haunt me in some way. I’m not trying to get around any rules, I simply want to be sure of the rules. If I do it, and wasn’t really eligible, it will cost me many thousands more.

I spent all year worried about that fucking ACA subsidy mess, and I actually have the savings to cover it, but what if I was a wife, and we were only in our 20’s with two kids, and got hit will an $8k tax bill, because my husband worked some over time during the year or got a bonus?

Literally, if I had made $6k less, I would not owe the $8k. I could have done hours of work for free and been better off.

That is, I would have been best off if I had known about the self employment 401k. Then I could have put 100% of my earnings in a 401K. 100%! Really hard learning this in this way. But, I missed the deadline anyway.

I could have been more OCD about my worries regarding the ACA to begin with, and I might not be in this mess. You know, do research, ask people tons of questions, drive my husband crazy with my obsession. People hate when I do that. I have to do it now though if I want to salvage a few thousand. I’ve talked about it hear many times. The financial cliff associated with the ACA while most jellies talk about how wonderful it is. Most jellies don’t use the ACA marketplace, they are just talking about what they like about it, what the media says, but are not understanding the entire picture.

I can barely think straight writing this all out I’m so depressed about it when I think about it.

Also, my husband is trying to find a job. I hope he does so he feels better. Unrelated to the ACA money entirely, I just mean that he is having a tough time with rejection. I’m so distraught over the ACA he can’t do anything but be the ying to my yang and try to comfort me about it. Not that I’m in tears or anything, but he knows how I’m beating myself up.

ragingloli's avatar

Nerve killing coworker.
I hope he dies.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@ragingloli Same. Gripes all day, every day. Getting my own office next week, thank God. Can you move work areas?

ucme's avatar

Having our butler get the temperature & texture of my cocoa just right.

ragingloli's avatar

Already moved to the opposite of the room.
But I still want him to die a violent death.

Demosthenes's avatar

Thoughts about the future mainly. Career stagnation. Feeling that my life is passing me by.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

The job, Boss, and dispatcher.
Everything else is fine.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

Deciding my future.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Should I go after another project or just let the opportunity pass. There are so many pluses and minuses.
+ interesting work, exciting, fun, money but…
– stressful, due dates, can’t travel at will.

I don’t need this but it would be interesting. I must decide by April 11.

joeschmo's avatar

Strep throat. As soon as I am well again I swear I will live for the moment and carpe diem the shit out of every day. ;-)

Dutchess_lll's avatar

People only use the ACA marketplace to find an insurance provider @JLesie. Once they’ve found one they’re done with the marketplace.

Your situation sounds incredibly frustrating though. I hate it too when something could have been avoided if someone had just activated 2 more brain cells.

JLeslie's avatar

@Dutchess_III Do you use the ACA marketplace? I’m guessing you don’t, or you would understand what I’m talking about. That’s my whole point.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

We have insurance through Rick’s job so we didn’t have to go shopping to find our own through the marketplace.
We have CIGNA and they are, of course, compliant with ACA laws.

I am not understanding how you got into this fix. Under ACA laws, you get penalized for not having insurance when you can afford it. Did you guys not have health insurance coverage in 2018?

JLeslie's avatar

^^That’s what I mean. You aren’t getting it.

When you go to the marketplace you enter your expected household income. Let’s say you expect to make $60k. The prices that you are shown for each plan available are what you will pay per month, and also how much the government is paying for you. The cut off is around $64k. Make a penny more and the subsidy disappears in full. If you expected to make $60k, and wound up making $65k you owe the entire subsidy back at tax time, because you made more than the max allowable $64k.

2018 the subsidy was over $700 a month on the plan you picked. So, making the $5k too much means you owe back $700X12. You would be better telling the job to keep a thousand bucks so you don’t owe the $8,400.

Example 2: A couple has one spouse who is self employed, and the other spouse was laid off and looking for a job. The self employed spouse makes $40k. They go to the marketplace and choose insurance that they pay $200 a month, and the government pays $900. Then, he gets a job in June and now they can switch to healthcare at his job. In the half year he makes $40k. Now, they’re over the top threshold, and owe every penny back of the ACA subsidy that they used, so $900×6.

Every year the subsidy has gotten more and more huge, because the insurers raise their premiums, and the government just pays up, so the people needing healthcare insurance, like me, pay around the same, UNLESS, they go over the threshold, then they are paying full price. Some people are obviously paying the full price to begin with, because they simply make too much money and they know it at the beginning of the year. Others, similar to me, know we hover right around the $60k-$70k mark, and it’s a torture.

What irks me most is the premiums are ridiculously high and the insurers are having huge profits and the government is just letting it happen. My insurance is over $1100 a month this year, 2019, and I have a $15,000 deductible! That’s disgusting to me. I am getting the subsidy, because we sold our business and are making well below the threshold, but my husband is actively looking for work, so most likely we will wind up going over. If he gets a great job in his field then I’ll get over it, but if it’s some sort of bandaid job that puts us at that $60k something mark again, and I wind up paying back $10k then I almost rather he didn’t work. It’s just such a huge number, and it shouldn’t be.

That’s why republicans say “hand outs” cause people to game the system, because they game it themselves. Do you know how many people with money do everything they can to get rid of their money so they can get Medicaid? Lawyers advise on these strategies to people who have quite a bit of money.

I wish there was insurance available to me just for catastrophic. For some reason I can’t find that like I had 25 years ago. I’ll pay for every doctors appointment and tests, I do that now, but if I have a major event I want the insurance to kick in, and that should not be $1,100 a month, because catastrophic things aren’t likely to happen. That’s why the insurers are making a fortune.

The Democrats fighting for ACA like it’s a miracle don’t understand how it works. It needs to be fixed. Possibly, it’s better in some other states. Where I live only BCBS was available in the marketplace in 2017 and 2018. No competition. In 2019 a company I never heard of was competing, but it made me nervous when I read reviews.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

Are you saying you did not have health insurance in 2018?

JLeslie's avatar

^^I did have insurance in 2018. That’s why I owe money on my taxes that I need to file for 2018. I had insurance, I got the subsidy, and right now I owe the subsidy back if I can’t lower my income with the SEP.

JLeslie's avatar

You can go to the website and see what I mean if you want. But I don’t remember if you need to give all your information like SS and address just to get the quotes. You might not want to do that. If you do, then you can change the salary a couple of times and see the difference. Put in $50k like a typical middle class household number, and you’ll see. I don’t expect you to do it, I just mean if you’re curious for yourself. It might be cheaper than what your husband pays. I doubt it though.

To be clear I’m not being “penalized” I just owe back the subsidy. Possibly. Depending on if I can put money into a SEP.

Mimishu1995's avatar

Should I continue with my comic?

Currently finding a definite answer to that question is my biggest stressor. At one point it nearly drove me to suicide.

On one hand I know I’m following my deep calling, but on the other hand, I have this intense fear that I’ll starve to death doing that. I’m standing between a crossroad. I have to choose between following my dream and getting a real job. And I don’t have much time right now. I have to choose fast.

On top of that, I have this fear that no one will read I’m writing. I have done research on art marketing and I’m trying everything I could possibly think of and I can’t gather enough readership before the comic finally gets published. What am I doing wrong? I’m tearing my hair out.

I can already sense danger at both sides of the crossroad. Either I’m starving to death or I’ll die of depression.

I don’t know anymore. Maybe a better word for my stressor would be money. But that question is the root of all of this.

I feel like I’m wasting my life. Should I just die because I’m leeching off society chasing a childish dream?

I’m sorry that I sound so bitter. I just thought about that matter a few hours ago, and I’m currently not in a good shape.

JLeslie's avatar

@Mimishu1995 You are not wasting your life, I’m sure of it. Suicide is not an option for you. I promise you you have great things coming. I don’t know if your comic will be a hit or not, but there is much happiness you do not realize yet in your future.

Can you self publish your comic? What about on Amazon? I have friends who do that. Two friends make a lot of money self publishing their books. I have another friend who only sells three books a month. You never know. All of them do have other jobs they were very successful at. They didn’t start writing until their 40’s, even though that was always something they wanted to do.

Making money might make you feel better. Why not try it? Get a job doing something else, and start earning some money. Do the comics on the side. You can always quit the job if you hate it, or if you start making a lot of money with the comic.

Unfortunately, money matters. It often helps give us freedom, autonomy, and power over our lives, and those things make us feel good.

Also, sometimes working creates connections we don’t expect. The more people you interact with, the more it might help your ultimate goal.

josie's avatar

Since I came home for good, I can’t think of any.

jca2's avatar

Mine are that my boss is elected to her position, and has a little more than 2 years to go. If she loses the next election, or decides not to run in the next election, then I will go back to doing my regular job. I haven’t done my regular job in over 7 years, and it will be almost 10 years at that point, so it may be tough for a while. So that’s not a current stress but it’s looming in the back of my mind.

Other than that, my life is ok but I have a middle school aged daughter. She is not the most studious and I have to push her to study. It’s almost like the homework and school projects are my homework and my school projects. If I let her fail by not keeping on top of her, she could end up in summer school.

jca2's avatar

@Mimishu1995: Would it be possible to get a regular job and do the comic in the evening? That way you’d have money and you’d have your art.

Inspired_2write's avatar

If you have not formed a company then do so before you self publish your comic books that way you can write off the expenses and any losses as well.
Very important to select the right way for you in order to be able to take advantage of this when taxes are done.
I think Sole Proprietor may be the one to form your company and later when and if you make thousands of dollars you have the option of changing it to a Ltd company .

So check online on : The four ways in which a business may be set up are:
Sole Proprietorship,
and Limited Liability Company

One other thing… If you make no sales then donate to museums, libraries and get a receipt.( make sure that the receiver knows that this is a donation to charity (community) or even write donation to ” name of library”. etc

I knew a couple whom had done this in the early years of selling their book and this money

that they saved helped them gain a foothold and they traveled all over the Country doing just

that to get their book out and recognized.( no end to this, they continued on to different

countries and wrote off travel etc

You can as well.

jca2's avatar

@Inspired_2write: @Mimishu1995 is in Vietnam so the IRS rules don’t apply to her.

Inspired_2write's avatar

@jca2 Surely companies start up there?
Might have to move to a better place in order to capitalize on his talents.

jca2's avatar

@Inspired_2write: Companies definitely start up there, I was saying to you, responding to your post about taxes, that the rules are different there.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Inspired_2write @jca2 I don’t really understand. What do you mean by “company”?

Inspired_2write's avatar

A legal Business.
Have a name of the Business and legalize it.
Find out more that you can do in your Country.

There are 50 million internet users in Vietnam and by 2020 there will be billions more.

I do not know how your country handles the legal aspect nor the tax rights off’s as well,
so check with a knowledgeable Banker etc on this first.

Hopefully they may assist you in moving forward on a bigger world wide scale.

Also try selling online ( example is one shopping online that helps creative

people to sell there wares all over the World.

Best of Luck to you!

JLeslie's avatar

In America you don’t have to form a company to write off expenses. If you have sales you can have expenses. Self employed people do it all the time. Forming a company gives some protection if you’re sued. Then the company is sued, not the person, but that’s not a real concern here.

Inspired_2write's avatar

Interesting article on Comic books in Vietnam and future of it. Apparently only one publisher??
Time to change this and create more publishers/creators of comic books on a vast variety of topics/subjects.
See this interesting article that explains the difficulty .

JLeslie's avatar

Here is the Amazon website for self publishing, I assume you can do comic books. This site gives a short video on how it’s done.

I’m pretty sure one of my girlfriends made up her own publisher name so it looks like it’s not self published. Maybe she actually made a corporation I don’t know.

I guess you would just need to check to make sure it’s kegal to earn money in your country using a vehicle like Amazon.

I think just put your comic out there! Maybe you can target the American market somehow when you put it online.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Oh, OK @JLeslie. I have no idea how that works, but I am so sorry it came down that way for you. That really sucks.

joeschmo's avatar

@josie I’ll have what you’re having.

Mimishu1995's avatar

Thank you @JLeslie and @Inspired_2write. I just did a search and it’s legal to sell on Amazon in Vietnam. And yeah, I’m targeting American audience. I’m aware that the comic industry in Vietnam is non-existent, so I’m trying to get my comic to the US.

Yesterday I was a mess. I guess I fell back to self-doubt again.

Because of the failing comic industry, I have always wished to open my own publishing company to get my comic going. Who knows, maybe one day?

Again, thank you all for your suppport.

JLeslie's avatar

@Mimishu1995 Do you do the drawings and the writing?

Also, what about the Japanese market? Aren’t they very into that sort of thing?

Mimishu1995's avatar

@JLeslie Yes. I do everything.

I didn’t think about the Japanese market. Maybe I’ll have to check it out.

JLeslie's avatar

@Mimishu1995 What about doing illustrations for other writers? I don’t know what the market is like for that?

Mimishu1995's avatar

@JLeslie Could be good. I’m not sure where to start though :P

JLeslie's avatar

^^I don’t know. I really don’t know much about the industry at all. My girlfriend’s book had a cartoon-like cover. I don’t know how that sort of thing is created. Is it freehand? All computer? I know she hired someone to do the cover. Here’s a link to the book.

Maybe you could illustrate children’s books also?

Do you have a website?

Mimishu1995's avatar

I have a blog. If you go to my profile you can see the link. It’s about movie review but at the end of each review I insert my own drawing of the character.

alanz's avatar

Sometimes I get worried that I’m not actually good enough to do my job and someone else deserves to be in this role (I had to work really hard for years to get the position I’m in now). I start planning my finances as if I’m going to get fired when I get really worried about it.

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