When you visit someone in their home, does it matter to you if their house is clean, and if so, what areas do you look to for cleanliness?

I’d like to see a clean toilet.

I don’t mind a dirty or messy house as long as its not animal waste or decaying food scraps.

In other words, no organic waste

I usually lick my finger and check atop the kitchen cabinets for dust.

I’d have to agree with both @kritiper and @Yellowdog

If visiting briefly, I only care about bugs and air quality.
If I’m staying or eating, the place needs to be tidy, esp kitchen and bathroom, or I’ll leave. Seriously.

It’s more pleasant when it’s clean.

If the house isn’t completely spotless and tidy it doesn’t really matter to me though. In fact, I’m often in awe of everything put away and spotless. I can’t seem to achieve that, and don’t understand how people do it. I assume they obsess about it to an extreme, but maybe they are just better at it than me.

Clean is more important to me than tidy.

If you have paperwork and books on top of your office desk and disorganized on shelves I don’t care. If there are papers and books all over the house with zero organization I wouldn’t feel comfortable there for a long period of time. If your bed isn’t made I don’t care. If there are a few dirty dishes in the kitchen sink I wouldn’t think twice about it, but if the sink is teaming with dirty dishes and pots and you didn’t just finish cooking an hour ago I might notice.

If the bathroom has mold in the shower and the toilet isn’t clean I do mind that.

I am grateful to be invited into someone’s home. If they do me the courtesy of inviting me in, I do them the courtesy of not judging how they live.

@JLeslie How would you know the shower has mold? Do you pull back the shower curtain to look ?

@anniereborn If I’m sleeping over, and using the shower, I would know. If they have a clear shower glass door I would know.

I need to clarify that feeling comfortable or “caring” does not have anything to do with judgement in my answer. @canidmajor’s answer made me want to clarify, but I don’t think she was addressing me specifically.

My parents house is a reck. I grew up in a messy house, especially in my teen years (my parents got worse as they aged). My father is a bit of a hoarder, and my mom isn’t a great housekeeper.

My house right now is way messier than I would like because we are in a tight space. It’s easier for me to be in my own mess than someone else’s. I do keep it clean though. It’s vacuumed and dusted and bathrooms and kitchen are clean. Although, sometimes a pot or pan might sit in the sink overnight. I still feel uncomfortable inviting people over, because I feel the house doesn’t represent me well.

Growing up in a messy house is horrible for most children. Part of why my sister is angry at my parents is the messy house. I hated it too growing up, but I don’t hate my parents.

Long ago I read good advice about cleaning for visitors. Clean the kitchen and bathroom first, and everything else if you have time. Dry messes are a lot more tolerable than wet ones.

Unless what should be a wet, nasty, organic mess is has dried. Or hanging dry like stalagmites from the top of the microwave.

The main thing I appreciate is a clean bathroom. Clean toilet is most appreciated.

I don’t care about some dishes in the sink. A huge pile of dishes makes me wonder why the host is not taking care of it, but otherwise, I don’t care.

If things are generally tidy that’s good enough for me. Sometimes my house gets messy to where I wouldn’t have someone in unless I really knew them, so I’m sympathetic to people being messy.

Funny, a house that is clean all the time I wonder if the person is OCD or has no interests or nothing better to do. Seems there can be possible judgement either way.

You know the Einstein quote that goes something like if a cluttered desk indicates a cluttered mind then what does an empty desk indicate? Something like that. I of course know people who are neat and clean and are far from empty headed, but I can’t think of one person I know who is very curious, research oriented, and very knowledgeable about many things, who has a pin neat house in all corners, especially not a pin neat office space with everything put away. Maybe that is changing now that we can do so much online.

@JLeslie My sister would be an example of such a person who is pin neat, yet curious, research oriented and incredibly smart. Although I do believe she has a bit of OCD in her.

@JLeslie Interesting, I think just the opposite. Some of the smartest people I know are very organized. To counter your sayings “Organization is the key to success.”

I’m ocd and very organized. Plus I’m rarely home more than four nights in seven day week, with council, volunteering and other commitments.

It has to do with whether your Left or Right hemisphere is dominant.

Left-brained people are organized. Right-brained may find or make genius out of the chaos and unorthodox methods. but they are buried in disorganization.

Left-brained OCD would not be able to NOT have complete order, and the exact ambiance they are wishing to create.

Right-brained OCD are tormented by their disorder and dysfunction, but also need exactly what they need to create the exact ambiance they are wishing to create,

I love staying in hotels because they’re bare and there’s very little there. However, I love my house, too, but it’s not bare. I tend to accumulate stuff (craft stuff, clothes, kitchen stuff, etc.).

@Yellowdog Just took the test, that was fun! I feel like my ocd is slight and controlled by living with two messy people. I’ve had to learn to adapt to roomates, life partners, etc…often.
It comes out more during high-stress, I’ve noticed.

Both your right and left hemisphere seem to have reached a level of perfect harmony – rather than trying to dominant each other, they work together to create a unique and well-balanced “you”. Your spontaneous, impulsive, and free-flowing right brain creates an exciting and adventurous world, while your left brain helps you make sense of it and keep track of everything.

@KNOWITALL I’m sure there are very many very smart very organized people. It doesn’t surprise me at all. My stereotyping above is not founded in any statistical data, it’s more about my own interaction with people, and admittedly, probably more than anything trying to feel better about my own untidiness and even further, my husband’s desire for a very neat home.

There tends to be two types of people. Some people like everything out where they can see it, and filing it away they worry it won’t be found again or forgotten. They may not be good at organizing and being tidy, but they usually do know where things are. They know where they put what. Other people like everything filed away, and they are very good at organizing, and others can come in and figure out their system. I think it reality none of it has to do with intelligence.

At work I am very organized, but not in my home. A lot of people are like that I think.

@JLeslie If you’re busy, why don’t you hire someone a few days a week?
That way you and your husband are both happy.

My husband and mother both secretly love that I clean everything, and know where everything is. Luckily cleaning relaxes me, so it works.

@KNOWITALL I think lots of couples should hire someone to clean to make things easier.

The problem for me is organizing isn’t like cleaning. I don’t mind cleaning much at all. I’m good at it. I don’t mind cleaning the bathrooms, vacuuming, etc. I do hate washing pots and pans, but that’s a daily thing that can’t wait.

Organizing, I have to be there, I can’t just leave it to someone else. Not a lot of it anyway, since a lot of it is papers that need decisions about whether to keep, where to file, and sometimes actions like paying bills or responding to correspondences. I guess if I had a personal assistant consistently it could work, but right now I don’t have enough work to justify it.

I’m not very busy now, not enough to complain about it. I just hate doing those tasks. I also feel overwhelmed by the lack of space. I don’t have a place for everything in my current situation.