General Question

dopeguru's avatar

(NSFW) My date rushed to the bathroom during foreplay?

Asked by dopeguru (1912points) 1 month ago

We never had sex before and we decided not to have sex that evening because he didn’t feel it was the right time, but we got lost in the heat of the moment and at some point, he put his hand down my pants and started to finger me. The issue is instantly after there was a pause and he just said “no” and then went to the bathroom, stayed there for some time and came back all serious saying we should not do it and he is firm about it. Then he kinda rejected me, saying he has doubts about me, and left. We were not to see each other for 3 months and this is how the evening ended. I’m overthinking but any ideas what the heck happened???

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21 Answers

janbb's avatar

He went to the bathroom and masturbated because he was excited but he really didn’t want to have sex with you at that time.

dopeguru's avatar

@janbb Yes that’s a possibility. Or my vagina turned him off, or he came in his pants? I wonder if he could come in his pants through just briefly fingering me though.

janbb's avatar

@dopeguru In my experience, that’s the most likely scenario. But you won’t really know unless you decide to ask him. If you can’t, that says something about the state of the connection.

And by the way, welcome back!

Darth_Algar's avatar

Or maybe, I dunno, he was actually ill.

jca2's avatar

My thoughts were what @janbb said.

dopeguru's avatar

@janbb Thanks! :)

I did ask him if he is turned off, or what was wrong, but he just says he doesn’t want to. I even asked if my vagina looks bad (I’m insecure about that because an ex said its not perfect looking) or if I smell and he said it wasn’t the case.

dopeguru's avatar

@Darth_Algar He used to take viagra for casual sex before me

jca2's avatar

@dopeguru: Maybe he has problems with ED (which is why the Viagra) and so something happened where he had an ED issue.

cookieman's avatar

I agree that he reacted unexpectedly to the arousal of being with you. Could be premature ejaculation or loss of erection, or both. He ran to the bathroom because he was embarrassed. Panicked and bolted. Likely been too mortified since then.

I doubt highly he was turned off by the touch of your vagina (assuming it’s a perfectly normal vagina and all).

gorillapaws's avatar

@dopeguru ”... Or my vagina turned him off…”

Highly unlikely. As long as you bathe regularly and didn’t have something growing downstairs that doesn’t belong there, there is close to 0% chance that this was the issue. Vaginas come in all shapes and sizes—men love ‘em, I can assure you.

My guess is ED. He was embarrassed and didn’t want you to know. Maybe he didn’t take his pills earlier and knew he would struggle with an erection which is why he bailed. Pretty shitty of him to make you feel undesirable. He sounds like a creep. Maybe it’s best you found out early instead of investing time and emotional energy in him…

Also don’t feel self conscious about your lady parts. It’s really nothing to feel weird about.

LostInParadise's avatar

I go along with @janbb , including her second comment. Maybe he is the rare guy that believes that before having sex, the people in a relationship should establish a strong emotional connection. That you did not see him for three months afterward, reinforces that idea.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
Darth_Algar's avatar

@dopeguru

Ok, but that’s not what I was talking about.

seawulf575's avatar

I’m thinking you are way off base asking a bunch of who’s on Fluther rather than actually talking to him about it. If he is so closed off he doesn’t want to talk, he is damaged goods and it is time to move on.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Sounds like Ayla and Jondular when they first met. Read the first book and go from there.

Darth_Algar's avatar

@seawulf575 is correct here. Talk to him. Honestly and without assumptions about what this or that might mean. If he doesn’t want to then there’s no point in pursuing any kind of relationship further.

kritiper's avatar

Sudden urge to pee.

gondwanalon's avatar

Back in my day…Just before having sex with womenI would go to the bathroom to apply toothache medicine to my penis to dull the sensation. Kept me from pre-ejaculations.

anonymissus's avatar

@gondwanalon I stopped here specifically to say not to do that, as it numbs vaginas as well, and girls are so trained not to be critical of bad sex that most women might not say anything and end up with an injury because they couldn’t tell it hurt. This goes doubly for buttstuff. Everyone, also please be careful with “climax extending” condoms which also cause awful numbing. >_< (p.s. I won’t be back, so if anyone else wanted to argue, I apologize in advance, but it’s the internet, it won’t be difficult to find a stand in :))

gondwanalon's avatar

Oh I forgot to say that on top of the toothache medicine I also used 1 or 2 condoms.

Vector8582's avatar

He wanted to mentally prepare himself for the emotional and psychological repercussions that come along with having sex with someone for the first time. But when he went to the bathroom and thought things over, he hesitated because he thought that you weren’t the one for him and then refused to have sex with you.

Your boyfriend did this because he wasn’t sure about his feelings for you and didn’t want to “seal the deal” which will ultimately result in you two getting into a romantic relationship only for him to regret it later on. Which would’ve caused both of you a lot of pain.

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