Social Question

ragingloli's avatar

Would women be more or less offended than men, upon finding out that their date is transgender?

Asked by ragingloli (50597points) January 18th, 2021

Would a woman finding out that their date is a female to male transgender person be more, less or equally offended, compared to a man finding out that their girlfriend is male to female transgender?

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19 Answers

elbanditoroso's avatar

That sounds like a great theme for a reality TV show. @ragingloli – you may become rich from this idea.

I think there would likely be some disgruntlement going either way – surprise, and probably issue complicating things. I doubt that there is any way to know who would be more or less offended, men or women.

With all respect to transgendered people, it would be a turn-off for me.

Mimishu1995's avatar

At one point in my life I wished I was a man. I can totally see myself becoming a transgender if I was to follow through with my wish. So I guess if I was in that situation, I wouldn’t be offended. But that’s just me. I’m not representative of all women.

JLoon's avatar

Interesting question. I’m bisexual, but find that most of my partners tend to be male. What matters most to me as far as intimate relations is mutual respect, good sex, and honesty. When we share on that level I’m good. But there seems to be something else implied here by suggesting that I would suddenly “find out” about my partners’ gender status.

Almost all of my sexual relationships have been just that – for fun and pleasure with no demands for anything else. But my expectation is always that someone will be as open and truthful about themselves & their intentions as I am with them. If that wasn’t the case in this situation I’d probably be disappointed and turned off.

Does that make intolerant, prejudiced, or less sympathetic? I don’t know…

KNOWITALL's avatar

I think many women would be less offended than most men. We generally are more empathetic, and perhaps more intuitive on an intimate level.

ragingloli's avatar

Maybe it is a “Sappho and her friend” situation, but thinking back to school, girls generally had no problems holding hands, or kissing each other on the lips.
Males on the other hand, seem to exhibit more revulsion at the thought of same-sex conduct.
Therefore it seems to me that women would be more accepting of a boyfriend with a vagina, than men would be of a girlfriend with a penis.

filmfann's avatar

I think many men would find it an assault on their masculinity.
Women wouldn’t react as badly.

gondwanalon's avatar

I don’t know how others would feel but I would likely go into sudden and nonstop vomiting.

canidmajor's avatar

Even just looking at popular culture jokes and references, the tendency is for men to be totally freaked. References to women’s reactions are, well, zero. I have heard men discuss this, women tend not to. But then, the women I know who might be averse to finding out such a thing would likely simply say “no thanks” to the relationship, while being amused at the wild overreaction of guys like @gondwanalon.

Demosthenes's avatar

One of the great ironies of human existence is that masculinity is quite fragile and delicate. Thus I think @filmfann is correct that men would see it as an assault on their masculinity whereas women might find it off-putting and reject the relationship (the same way a man would) but they would not see it as an assault on their femininity, thus there would be no “panic” response that you might see in men.

@gondwanalon Made me think of this.

kritiper's avatar

Less offended, or rather, more accepting.

sadiesayit's avatar

In the moment, it would never occur to me to take offense at some else’s gender identity. It isn’t something they’re doing “to” me. It’s simply who they are.

If I found out because they told me, I would feel grateful that they trusted me enough
with that information, especially when it’s still stigmatized enough that, for example, some people think it’s a reasonable response (rather than a personal failing) to act repulsed and disgusted by the idea.

I’m female (and cis and straight).

Dutchess_III's avatar

Interesting question.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I agree that men would be more upset. They have sex and masculinity on the brain constantly, and if the guy was was actually attracted to that person…. well many guys would just flip out over the idea they were sexually attracted to another guy.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Dutchess_III True. But lesbians or a harem are fine, if all are fem subs. Reactionary brains. Sigh.

si3tech's avatar

I do not think it matters more or less to men or women. Fact is neither sex wants to date tem.

Brian1946's avatar

I’m a hermaphrodite.

When this guy I was dating found out, he told me to go fuck myself. ;-o

I did and now I’m pregnant. When October arrives, will I be giving birth to me?

filmfann's avatar

@Brian1946 While you may think your answer is amusing, I assure you it is not. As I understand it, what you are describing is impossible.

Brian1946's avatar


While you may think I care about your opinion, I assure you I do not.

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