General Question

QuietGhost's avatar

Why do men do this?

Asked by QuietGhost (51points) August 25th, 2022

Why do men suddenly have to leave after you’ve asked them a question?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

27 Answers

seawulf575's avatar

I guess it would depend on the man and the question. Reasons could be variable.

Poseidon's avatar

seawulf575 is quite correct.

It does depend what the question is but if I was asked a question by anyone, friend, relation, female or male and I did not wish to answer it because I thought it was too personal or I did not want the person asking the question to be told I would not simply walk away, I would have the decency to diplomatically explain that I felt the question was too personal or give another reason why I considered it a question that I did not want to answer for other reasons.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Sort of depends on the question, and whether you have any right to ask it.

Blackwater_Park's avatar

Tell us the question(s) and we’ll tell you why they head for the door.

cookieman's avatar

All men?! After every question?!

I think you might be painting with too broad a brush here.

LuckyGuy's avatar

“Is that your car that’s on fire in the parking lot?”
That’s is one of the very few questions that would cause me to jump up and immediately leave.

HP's avatar

@LuckyGuy the wife is upset. I read your answer and spit orange juice all over the kitchen.

HP's avatar

I too am VERY interested in just which question will set all men running.

QuietGhost's avatar

I only asked whether there was a way to message them somewhere privately so I could ask them something.

He went silent (this was in a chat box where he was literally posting every minute until my question) and 11 minutes later said that it’s late, he best go to bed.

A simple “no” would have been fine with me.

@ everyone saying that because one guy did this that I’m now judging all men – my ex did this regularly and a male friend used to do this too.

SnipSnip's avatar

Too general to answer. However, one might infer that the question was somehow offensive.

Blackwater_Park's avatar

Need more context than that, for example:

Are you under age? Did that person know? Most men with any sense would not chat with an underage girl in a private chatroom. That kind of question reeks of “teen crush” and the proper response is to politely decline and then promptly exit.

QuietGhost's avatar

@SnipSnip may I ask how that question was offensive?

jca2's avatar

@QuietGhost: Maybe the person was married so didn’t want you to know, but also didn’t want you to privately message him, or maybe he didn’t want any other type of communication other than the way you were already doing so.

seawulf575's avatar

“Would you consider dating a woman with herpes?” Most guys will leave.

gorillapaws's avatar

@QuietGhost “I only asked whether there was a way to message them somewhere privately so I could ask them something.”

That sets off all kinds of red flags. You have to understand there’s lots of romance scams out there. When you say something like that they may be thinking “Goddammit! I’ve been chatting Nigerian scammer pretending to be a woman this whole time.”

smudges's avatar

@ everyone saying that because one guy did this that Iā€™m now judging all men ā€“ my ex did this regularly and a male friend used to do this too.

Ok, so two men, not “men” in general, as you wrote.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Lots of people extrapolate their own personal issues into broad generalizations. @QuietGhost is no different.

I think that complaining about “all men” is a not-very-subtle way of situating herself as the victim.

SnipSnip's avatar

@QuietGhost You didn’t mention the question you asked. Anyway, what is offensive to one may not be to another. That why I ignore such generalizations as your post.

smudges's avatar

@SnipSnip She said: ā€œI only asked whether there was a way to message them somewhere privately so I could ask them something.ā€

SnipSnip's avatar

Not in the OP.

smudges's avatar

^^ No, but she clarified in another post when asked.

jca2's avatar

@SnipSnip: About 13 comments up from this one.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
Forever_Free's avatar

That is a sweeping generalization about men.
No, men do not do this, people do this. If you don’t like it, say so.
You also may be asking a bit much from someone that may now mean that much to you or you to them.
Measuring and judging the response time is not healthy.

Nomore_Tantrums's avatar

Depends on the question I guess. Hopefully though they’d have enough couth to at least take the woman home and get her safely to her door. An awkward question is no excuse for rude behavior. Just don’t ask her out again. Problem solved.

Lion_Zigon87's avatar

I think for us guys, it depends on the question, or sometimes how you say it.

Entropy's avatar

Um, I don’t think that’s really a thing. I’m not saying there aren’t situations where a person might do that – but I don’t think that’s a general male trait like you seem to be implying. If anything, we’re usually accused of the opposite. Of being OVERLY answer-y. Hence the term mainsplaining.

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