General Question

Nimis's avatar

Is there a polite way to ask someone to not call you by your nickname(s)?

Asked by Nimis (13199points) September 29th, 2008

I don’t like when people (that I don’t know that well) call me by my nickname(s).
Is there a nice way to ask them not to?

Obviously I am okay with my family and old friends calling me by my nickname(s). Is just seems a little rude to point out that they do not fall under either category.

It’s always annoyed me. But I’ve always let it slide because I’ve never found a nice way of explaining to people why I don’t like it.

(Besides just getting over my weird hang-ups.)

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

31 Answers

jsc3791's avatar

I have experienced this too! My name is Jessica. My close friends and family call me Jess. ONLY my little sisters call me Jessie – b/c I do not like it but it is sort of endearing when they do it. So…I agree with you that it is kind of presumptuous for someone not close to you to refer to you by a nickname, but I am not sure what to say to these people. Except maybe “Actually, I prefer xyz.”

Les's avatar

Ok, Snoogly Bear.
All you have to do is, next time someone refers to you by the nickname, just stop them politely and say, “I’m sorry, I would prefer if you would call me by my full name.” It really should be no more complicated than that. My name is Leslie. And I hate it when people (close friends, too!) call me Lez-lie. I like the sssssss. So I will stop them, and correct them. Most people would rather you tell them what you prefer, than have them keep calling you something you don’t like.

Nimis's avatar

I do tell them that I prefer my full name—when it’s just them.
I find it problematic when we’re hanging around with people
that I obviously don’t mind calling me by my nickname(s).
It seems like I’m saying Sorry, you’re not as close to me as so-and-so.

-Snoogly Bear

xxporkxsodaxx's avatar

Uh, yea… I’m gunna need you to stop calling me that and call me by my appropriate name, thanks.

gailcalled's avatar

@Nim (you don’t mind if I call you “Nim?”) It is not a weird hang-up. Be courteous, use a nice tone of voice and say it in a straightforward manner. It is tricky with a crowd, however.

gailcalled's avatar

When I hear a friend being called both by a diminutive and her real name, I ask her what she prefers.

Nimis's avatar

I don’t mind shortened names.
I’m quite lazy and do it all the time myself.

It is tricky!
Even if I say it nicely, it sounds mean (in my head).

I wish people would ask me.
But even still, they’re sure to notice the discrepancies.

They can. You can’t. Sorry.

Les's avatar

If I were you, I would just learn to deal with it. I don’t like Lez-lie, but people still call me that. And, oddly enough, I’m not particularly fond of ‘Les’ either, but for some reason it is my user-name. But if someone calls me either of these things, I have just had to deal with it. It’s just something people do.

Hopefully the nickname isn’t quite as bad as ‘Snoogly Bear’. In that case, I would say don’t live with it, but also don’t let anyone call you that. ;-)

augustlan's avatar

I’d just explain that it is an old nickname, and only people who “knew you way back when” still call you that. I’ve know several people who have used something like that to get their point across.

whatthefluther's avatar

People write my nickname all the time: wtf or WTF with or without exclamation marks. I see it so frequently, I’ve grown to not only accept it, but like it! Feel free to call me wtf , Nimis.

gailcalled's avatar

People who had “y’s added to their names when they were young (my brother, Don, and my ex, Fred, for example) were haunted, as adults, by Donny or Freddy when they met old friends.

MY name doesn’t lend itself to a nickname other than Gaililo or Gallileo (neither of which I’m crazy about), so I’d love one.

Nimis's avatar

Les: I think if it evolves naturally on its own, I don’t mind it (whether I actually like it or not).
I don’t like it when they pick it up from someone else (who is closer to me).
I have been dealing with it. Just wondering if I didn’t have to?

Aug: Good idea! That totally solves half my problems.

Wha: WTF!!

Gail: Gailcalledy? Yeah, probably not a keeper.

maybe_KB's avatar

Say casually….Mmm, call me ________.
Don’t break in conversation
allow a moment of silence.
That would be prob. create discomfort for the both of you & you obv. don’t want that.
So, no silence immed. following
and keep the convo. going right after you them.

Les's avatar

AugustIan has the best suggestion. Way to go.

By the way. AugustIan, is it “Ian” with an L, or an i?

maybe_KB's avatar

what the fluther…LOL

gailcalled's avatar

@Les; My sister is also Leslie and we have always called her Lezlie. I have a friend who prefers your ‘ssss’.

whatthefluther's avatar

wait…did someone call me?

Nimis's avatar

Sorry. It was too much fun. Couldn’t help myself.

babygalll's avatar

I am the same way and don’t like people I don’t know that well to call me by my nickname. I just come out and say I prefer you call me (insert your name). It’s worked for me.

augustlan's avatar

To All: It is AugustLan, with an “L”, not an “I”. It is a common problem…darn lower case “L“s.

Les's avatar

Thanks! (Go me! That’s always how I’ve read it.)

gailcalled's avatar

Me, too, but I have had to squint.

marinelife's avatar

For the difficult in a crowd situation, you could try humor. “These days I go by mywholename, even though some of these folks who know where all the bodies are buried use my nickname.”

Said with a smile, it is hard for people for take offense.

sccrowell's avatar

Why not just say, Hey SoAndSo, Would you mind calling me by (whatever name you wish) I’d really prefer that.

More than likely “SoAndSo” will say sure thing!

shrubbery's avatar

If these are friends of friends who you don’t really know, just make sure your close friends who do call you by your nickname know to refer to you with your real name when talking to their friends, instead of their nickname for you.

Nimis's avatar

Bab & Scc: I have done that in the past. (Either that or just let it ride.)
I just feel bad like I’m singling them out or something.
I’m probably just being more sensitive about it than I should.

Mari: Another good option!

Shru: Was thinking the same thing. Best to nip it in the bud, eh?

shrubbery's avatar

I reckon! And it’s not like your friends are gonna think it’s rude for you to ask that, is it? Afterall, you’re just reminding them that they have the special privelege to use your nickname while others do not ;)

Mr_M's avatar

When the person calls you (ex.,) “Joey”, tell them “JOSEPH – I hate the name Joey”.

A few rounds of this and, eventually, all you’ll need to say is “JOSEPH” when they call you Joey. Make it light unless they’re saying it in a condescending manner (ex., “Joey Boy”) then DON’T WORRY about being polite.

deaddolly's avatar

The old nickname trick sounds like the best way to go. I prefer my nickname, Jan, to my full name, Janine. When I was little they called me ‘ne ne’, which I understand means something like breast in the Spanish pronounciation.

Sueanne_Tremendous's avatar

I care little what people call me:

Suzie, Sue, Annie, Suzie Q, SA, Sue-Tred (my real last name starts with TRED), Suebee, Sue-per, Deckie (also a form of my last name), Sue Me, Suebell, Sou-ie (think of a calling a pig)...there are probably a dozen more.

I like nicknames and people using them. For the most part I think it’s because people like me and are comfortable with me. And being in sales, that’s kinda what you work for.

sccrowell's avatar

I have always called my youngest daughter, now 25, Moochiemine or Moochie, she actually loves it. Our family members may call her that as well, BUT that’s it! When her closest friend won’t call her that. My eldest daugther, I’ve always called Boogs, Boogie when she was younger. She only puts up with me calling her that because I’m her mother. It’s funny how kids can be. My eldest brother has always called me Boo, he says it’s because I was afraid of the dark. I still am and he still does, he’s 51 and I’m 48, go figure…

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther