General Question

tinyfaery's avatar

To spoon or not to spoon, that is the question?

Asked by tinyfaery (42811points) October 10th, 2008

I cannot sleep with my wife’s body all over me (you know what I mean dirty mind ;). I need space when I’m trying to fall asleep. I like to cuddle a little beforehand, but when it’s time to sleep, I just want to sleep. If you are able to sleep all cuddled up, how do you do it? Are you the type of person that can sleep anywhere?

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36 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

Something on one party or the other goes numb, tingling and perhaps dead after a while.

Cuddle and sleep – two very different activities.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

I love being cuddled up right next to Tim, and I like the idea of sleeping that way, but most of the time I really can’t. Only if I’m super-sleepy (after glow helps too).

Lovelocke's avatar

I cuddle with my lovely one… but no, I can’t sleep when she’s all “up ons” me. I get too hot at night anyway… I typically sleep with the window open or a fan on or something.

wundayatta's avatar

I like to sleep cuddled, but only if it’s cold. When it’s hot, give me space. I hate touching people when I’m all sweaty and uncomfortable.

I hate the word “cuddle”, btw. It sounds so creepy. But spooning. Mmmmm. Love it! When it’s cold enough. It makes me feel so comfortable all connected.

jca's avatar

to me, sex and or cuddling are one thing, sleeping is another. i sleep best when i have my own space.

tinyfaery's avatar

Nice to see you all. It’s been awhile.

Nimis's avatar

Both. I like to have a nice mix/balance of both.
Long stretches of either make me miss the other.

AstroChuck's avatar

I only like to spoon if I think it’s going to lead to forking!

Bri_L's avatar

I am always to warm and my wife us always to cold. So we don’t run into that. To often.

I agree with astrochuck

La_chica_gomela's avatar

Bri L, do you mean “too warm” and “too cold” and “is always”?

Bri_L's avatar

is that when you use “too”? I am bad at remembering that. The other was an iTouch error.

robmandu's avatar

Sporking xkcd style

marinelife's avatar

I love spooning. He loves spooning. I move too much when I sleep to do it all night.

Nimis's avatar

I like 34 because she’s still trying.

Sueanne_Tremendous's avatar

Just reminds me of a Japanese person who tended (my ass…she planted it, did all of the work, buried it and brought it back in the spring) our garden. Her greatest admonishment to Jenn and I when we would see fruit we wanted “toospoon…too spoon…no take esstoo spoon”

susanc's avatar

lurve to daloon for his explicit, unalloyed and affectionate description of pure happiness.

laureth's avatar

My husband is the spooner. I wasn’t for a long time, because it’s just too hot. He would fall asleep first and then I felt like I could never move or else I’d wake him up.

But after a while, I grew used to it, and even like it now (except when it’s like 90 degrees out). It feels supportive, like a good backrest. It made me feel loved. And now if I try to sleep by myself, it’s really difficult.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

Laureth, I know what you mean. I can’t sleep alone at all.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

I like space because I tend to be very hot and usually kick the blanket off me.

I’ll warm her up and when I know she is passed out I’ll turn and rollover to my own space.

JackAdams's avatar

Because cuddling is mentioned in this thread, please allow me to share the following true story with you:

I lived in a cul-de-sac, which looked very similar to this.

The neighbors were very friendly towards each other, and one of the young couples living there, was racially mixed; he was white and his wife was Asian (Korean, as I recall), and as cute and sweet as any woman could be. Her name was Inoki, pronounced “ee NO key.”

Not familiar with American-style cooking (she was new to the USA), she would always make too much food, then package the excess up and walk from house to house in our little enclave, saying to each neighbor, “I make too much! You take, yes?” We were charmed by her innocence and sincerity, as well as her desire to please everyone.

One day, her husband knocked on our door, and announced that he had won a fairly “respectable” amount of money in the state lottery, and wanted us (and all of the other neighbors) to come to their backyard the following Saturday, for a barbeque, as their guests. Naturally, everyone in the neighborhood accepted their generous offer.

When we showed up, we had a wonderful time, the food was terrific, and all of us insisted on sticking around (after the food was eaten) to help with all of the cleaning up.

As we were gathering up used paper plates, cups, and other things, Inoki was overheard telling another neighbor lady, “I really love living here in America, and I like living in a CUDDLE SACK, too!”

Everyone chuckled at her cute mispronunciation, and from that day forward, we all lived in a “Cuddle Sack.”

But wait! There’s more!

As we were saying our good-byes and getting ready to leave, our very kind and generous neighbor handed each “guest family” a long white envelope, with the admonishment, “Please don’t open this, until you are inside your homes.”

Puzzled, we agreed to honor his request and when my wife (at that time) and I got back inside our house, we opened the envelope and read this note:

“Please let us share a small portion of our good fortune with each of you. Everyone gets the same amount from us, and we ask you to keep it and use it any way you wish, with our love.”

Along with that note, for each family in our small “Cuddle Sack,” was $500 cash from their lottery win.

augustlan's avatar

In the beginning of the relationship, I can be “spooned” all night. After a while, I just need my space. After 3 years of marriage, I spoon him and lightly rub his back while he’s drifting off to sleep, then I roll over. Actually, I get up and go back downstairs!

augustlan's avatar

“Cuddle Sack” cute!

cyndyh's avatar

When we spent summers in Tucson, we’d sometimes only hook a foot together and use the space for cooling off. Other than crazy hot weather, we spoon or lay touching in some way most of every night.

MissAnthrope's avatar

I love spooning and the times I’ve been able to fall asleep holding someone or being held were awesome! It feels so warm and secure. Usually, I can’t, though, because it takes me so long to fall asleep that rarely am I able to do so while cuddled up to someone. Eventually my arm falls asleep and I have to turn over.

Also, I do tend to get rather warm under the covers (I sleep with my feet sticking out most of the time), so if it’s too warm in the room, I can only spoon for a short period before I have to move away to cool off. I found it’s cooler to be the outside spoon rather than the inside, all that heat on my back is too much sometimes.

JackAdams's avatar

I just thought of this!

Instead of telling someone to go F—K themselves, tell them to go SPOON themselves!

Ah, to be born brilliant

(Sure wish I had been…)

scamp's avatar

I’d rather be the “spooner” than the “spoonee”.

AstroChuck's avatar

And I’d rather be the “forker” than the “forkee”.

Nimis's avatar

Thanks for the clarification.

El_Cadejo's avatar

Depends on the night. Sometimes i can fall asleep cuddled, other nights, not so much. Really though, i need a bed like xkcd’s

augustlan's avatar

@uber: I need that bed!

Nimis's avatar

Yeah, that bed is pretty genius.

El_Cadejo's avatar

Unfortunately since those beds dont exist(to the best of my knowlege) you could always try this

personally i find it easiest to fall asleep in position 4

cak's avatar

I am not a spooner. I want my space in bed, when I’m trying to sleep. It’s taken many years, but my husband finally understands…...spooning, cuddling…fine, when I’m not trying to sleep.

rh11cp's avatar

i liek spooning, it gives yu a better reason to be closer to that person and then feel all turned on inside and like intimate and stuff. its a good feeling, and it makes yu guys want to be together and never let go and its just the best feeling ever. cuddling, hugging, spooning!, anything else yu can think of.

Zen_Again's avatar

I knife, sometimes fork – but hate the spoon. I need spaaaaace.

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