General Question

eebudee's avatar

Who would you rather marry and why? 1) the person that makes you feel safe, secure, that you love as your best friend and that you are compatible with? 2) the person that inspires you, is passionate, fun and exciting, but you disagree on a lot of things?...and you can only choose one.

Asked by eebudee (28points) October 29th, 2008
Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

16 Answers

noraasnave's avatar

Why not hold out for someone that is both? In our ‘instant’ society, too many people tend to think that what is before them right now is all there is, and all there will ever be.

I also see that if you have a decision before you, you can never know enough. There is always more to learn and more to understand, so we can only hope to make the best decision with the facts that are before us.

It sounds as if two people stand before you and you are deciding which one to choose. You are the master of your own destiny enjoy it! In mature, healthy relationship you should have room and freedom to ‘investigate’ both ‘options’ fully, so that you can find the facts that you need to make the best decision for yourself.

Zaku's avatar

Those aren’t my usual criteria. So, I’m imagining identical twins here, except as described in the question. Well, there are no problems with Doublemint A, and she sounds dreamy (given the twin base I started with). Meanwhile, Doublemint B sounds great too, in a different way, but all those disagreements, and apparently I’m being asked to decided now based on no other criteria, so A. Sorry B, it’s been great. You’ll find someone else soon, I’m sure.

Spargett's avatar

Easy, number 2. being married to a copy of myself sounds terribly understimulating.

ckinyc's avatar

I agree with spargett 100%
I am bored with myself as is. I don’t need to married to another. Besides, I heard some good thing about the make-up sex… ; )

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

Hmm. I would have to go with A. My experience with B type relations is that they are great, fabulous in the short run, but are hard to sustain in the long run.

Magnus's avatar

C) good use of description box.

I choose C.

deaddolly's avatar

#2 It’s keeps things interesting. I’d rather have someone who lights my fire!

lapilofu's avatar

Date 2, have a long tumultuous, but passionate and creative relationship. When your differences get to be too great to overcome, break up and eventually settle down with 1.

Also, I find the amount of people who used letters in response numbered options fascinating!

wondersteph's avatar

I pick B. I don’t like dating people I have everything in common with. And, I like debating. I’d prefer we have to agree to disagree on a few things. Agreeing all the time is boring.
Take the spice. Disagreements don’t always mean fights, and if they do, well, then, that’s just more time to make up. :)

flameboi's avatar

option b, option a sounds boring, I’d end up divorcing option a, for an option b type of person :)

DrasticDreamer's avatar

Option 1. Number 2 is fleeting, insubstantial and pretty much shallow. I choose substance, all the way through.

Edit: I need to add, however, that by choosing option number 1, that would also automatically make them passionate, fun and creative. Alas, I’ve simply never been able to view things in black and white.

wundayatta's avatar

Geez! This is like that old fable about the two women who claimed a baby. The judge was going to chop the baby in half, but one woman said, no, the other could have the child. So the judge gave the baby to the woman who said no.

You can have the baby, eebudee.

Able was I ere I saw Adam.

MacBean's avatar

1, without question. Being compatible with someone doesn’t mean they’re a copy of you. It means when you disagree, you can find some kind of middle ground or compromise, instead of fighting like children and making each other miserable. Passionate, volatile relationships can be fun for the short term. But if I’m getting married, I want someone who makes me feel safe and comfortable and won’t have negative effects on my blood pressure and mental health.

Zaku's avatar

I’m glad neither Doublemint twin is going to be lonely. ;-)

Siren's avatar

Person “1” sounds like a friend, but there’s no passion (ie attraction) and person “2” sounds like a fleeting romance/encounter but it’s transient (ie non-lasting). I think I vote C too.

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