Another silly love question...

Cut ties for awhile, and let him know exactly why. Give yourself time, reassess why you split up and then consider if you would like to be friends or anything more again. You may figure out you don’t really want to (not saying it is one way or the other). You may just be reacting to how things used to be, not how it was at the end. It took me about 5 months to be able to talk to my ex again, and I have to be really careful about it, not to fall back into just what you know. Good luck darlin’.

Can you tell us more about the call? Was it just a simple “Happy Thanksgiving,” of was it a deep re-connecting? And how did you leave it – was there a sense that you’d continue to be in touch? Or would that be unexpected?

“What do you think you would do in this situation?”
I’d probably call all my women friends and get them to help me.
And, with all their love in mind,
I think I might actually ask the guy what’s up, and then try hard to hear what he says,
rather than try to guess. Because that always just makes me crazy.

I think I would try to remember why we split in the first place. Was it an insurmountable issue or trivial. What’s going to happen in the future that might make you want to rekindle that hasn’t already happened?

Unless you are certain that you both you want to try it again, I think you definitely need to maintain distance and cut off all communication. It very well could be too early and hurtful to hear from him. Trust me, it will get easier in time…and time will also help you decide if you really want to try it again.

I hope the best for you, I know how difficult this can be, especially this time of year!

Thanks, Fluther friends! Well the way he contacted me was via text message and it basically said Happy Thanksgiving, he was thinking of me, and that he hoped I was doing well. Nothing too re-connecting, but still difficult to hear. We split up (mutually) because his personal life was a mess, he was depressed, and because he thought he wasn’t good for me at that point in time. I do appreciate you all taking the time to respond. Thank you.

Sure! Well, it sounds like a simple message of goodwill really stirred things up for you. I appreciate how you are stopping to examine how you feel and how you want to proceed.

I think I’m leaning towards cutting it off. I’m tired of thinking about him and wondering how he’s feeling.

@chichadelplaya: Good for you. That always takes a lot more balls than not cutting it off. And you never know what else is waiting around the corner :)

I agree. It takes courage, as well as balls. ; )

Thanks everyone! I think with all your help, my head is in a better place now. Thank you, again!!

@all- I did it. Cut it off, in between tears. Sad, but sweet. I feel better now. Once again, thanks for helping me gather the strength do to it. XO

Sending you sweet kisses.

Thanks, sweetie. Hugs! Silly boys. Why are so many of them so late to “get” it? Meaning, I’ve had like 3 men from my distant past surface from out of nowhere within the last month or so, to tell me they regretted letting me pass them by, I’m so amazing, blah blah blah. Anyway, it’s a trip. That is, life’s a trip. :-)

Yes, we can be slow. Silly boys.
I acknowledge your trust and faith that an amazing match is waiting for you.

I was single for the last two years – till last week. There’s hope.

Oh yay! That is wonderful! I hope you discover and embrace all the love you want and deserve! You will! Thanks for being a great, caring Fluther friend! ;-)
I’ll keep you updated if anyone worthy and wonderful comes along!

Please do!