General Question

abeth24's avatar

Should I buy my bridesmaids jewelry?

Asked by abeth24 (33points) March 23rd, 2009

I’m getting married in August and I don’t know what I should do about the bridesmaids jewelry. I was going to buy all the jewelry sets so everyone has the same but it’s so expensive and I don’t know if it’s necessary. Is it realistic to ask them to buy their own and just give them a general description of the kind of jewelry or should I buy the same for all of them and not worry about the cost?

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22 Answers

Balmung's avatar

mhm… you could get it and then return it after the wedding or something like that but I’m not sure up to what extent that’s doable. I say no jewelery but I’m a guy what do I know?

dynamicduo's avatar

Returning the used jewelery would be an awful choice, and depending where you buy it you may not even get a refund but store credit.

Why is it important for you to have matching jewelery? It is not fair to ask your bridesmaids to purchase it if you are the one who wants it. It is not realistic at all.

If the jewelery means a lot to you, the right thing to do is buy it for them. But in my mind, this is not a necessary part at all of a wedding. I’d rather spend that money on more entertainment or more alcohol, something that everyone can enjoy, versus on jewelery which very few people will really notice.

elijah's avatar

I bought my bridesmaids jewelry and watches for the groomsmen. I didn’t buy them all matching sets, instead I chose something that reflected each of their personal styles. If money is an issue you could buy less expensive jewelry. It doesn’t have to be real to be pretty! If you choose to let them pick their own, I would suggest a few ground rules unless you want to take the chance of someone showing up with something too extreme.

abeth24's avatar

I don’t know a lot about planning weddings so I didn’t even know if matching jewelry was something that even mattered.
So if not, then that’s great lol
just one of those small detail things I’m thinking about.

emilyrose's avatar

jewelry is a typical bridesmaid gift and I agree that you don’t need to go all out… i have no idea where you live but my friend went to la and got some really great prices there… and yes, fake is good!

dynamicduo's avatar

Your wedding is your wedding. You do whatever makes you happy. Lots of people will try to tell you what they think is right, but all that matters is your own happiness and what you truly want.

Jewelery is most certainly not something that matters a lot at at wedding, unless it’s something that matters to you personally. To me, it does not matter one bit.

zephyr826's avatar

If you want something specific, i would buy it as a bridesmaid gift. If you don’t care what they wear, then by all means, let them pick it out.
When I got married, i wanted them all to wear the same shoes, so I bought them as a gift. It worked really well.

Adina1968's avatar

If you want your bridesmaids to wear the same jewlery then it falls upon your shoulders to buy the jewlery for them. I did this when I got married because I wanted them to have a uniform look. It is unfair to ask them to foot the bill for jewlery in addition to the cost of the dress and the shoes that they are already paying for.

VS's avatar

When my cousin got married, she visited a silversmith who made tiny little silver jewelry trays with the initials of each bridesmaid engraved. They were relatively inexpensive compared to actual jewelry and were very thoughtful keepsakes.
If you mean purchasing jewelry to wear for the wedding, it would have to be your responsibility if you want each to wear the same thing. I totally agree with @Adina1968 that it would be too unfair to ask them to purchase that in addition to the cost of the dress/shoes that they are already obligated for.

3or4monsters's avatar

I am going through this very same thing right now, but my wedding is in May (I’m so unprepared!) and my solution was to go with simple, silver pieces… something I could afford, because they are already footing the bill for so many things right now. Dresses, shoes, bridal shower, and bachelorette party. So I am gifting them with jewelry.

Two of my bridesmaids are getting married in the next year (both my sisters, actually), so they need to save up for their own weddings, and I will do my duty and pay for a bunch of expensive crap when it’s my turn as the maid of honor. :)

Dorkgirl's avatar

When I got married I bought my bridesmaids a necklace & earrings to wear at the wedding. These were costume jewlery and not terribly expensive. They were a gesture of my appreciation. I also purchased the slips they needed to wear under their dresses as this was not an expense I thought they should have to incur.
I agree with other posters, the jewlery does not need to be expensive or “real” to be pretty and a nice gift.

marinelife's avatar

Let me agree with what others have said. it is not fair to ask your bridesmaids to buy jewelry that you have picked out. It might not be at all to their taste.

I think it is up to you to decide whether to buy it. It is not something I would go in hock for. No one’s eyes are going to be on their jewelry that day.

abeth24's avatar

Thanks for everyone’s help! I think I will buy their jewelry as they are already buying their dress and shoes :)

miasmom's avatar

I honestly think if you are asking someone to be in your wedding and requiring them to wear a particular dress, shoe, jewelry, you should buy all of it for them. You can usually never wear the dress again, I know it is acceptable to have them pay for it, but they end up paying so much…they are encouraged to be at all parties and buy gifts for those on top of sometimes having to fly places for the wedding, if you can swing it, you should buy all their stuff or make it super reasonable for them.

elijah's avatar

@miasmom the expense is something you agree to as part of accepting the role of bridesmaid. If I wanted someone in my wedding that truely couldn’t afford it, I would help them pay for stuff.
Being a bridesmaid is an honor. By accepting the role you are telling the bride that they are important enough to warrant the expenses.
Brides have enough expenses as it is, I wouldn’t feel comfortable expecting them to buy my clothing unless of course they are extremely wealthy.

miasmom's avatar

@elijahsuicide I think there is alot of pressure to accept the role of being a bridesmaid and that if you don’t there can be resentment by your friends, so even someone can’t afford it, they feel pressured to do it regardless. I think it is a standard that needs to change personally, if a bride can’t afford 8 bridesmaids, then maybe she should only have 1 or 2. If, on the other hand, a bridesmaid wants to contribute, then I think that would be ok, I just don’t think it should be expected. We can agree to disagree. :)

patg7590's avatar

you should marry me :]

ru2bz46's avatar

Generally, jewelry is a good bridesmaid gift, just nothing too expensive (depending on your income). My first wife and I decided to pay the bill for our bridesmaids and groomsmen, and we got them all gifts as well. We didn’t feel it was right to make our friends pony up for tux rentals and dresses that they would never wear again. The jewelry was simply to say “thanks” in our case, but if you want them to wear specific jewelry, then you should certainly pay for it. Why punish them for helping you celebrate your wedding day?

glassglitterandbeads's avatar

Always. It’s a tradition that goes way back, and unless you are having an unusual theme wedding, it’s part of the package. I wrote a book on medieval weddings, and have researched so much on traditional and alternatives to ALL sorts of wedding components… I made all the jewelry for my daughters Irish wedding, she bought the parts. There are many places that you can sit and make jewelry and could have a little ‘girls night’ and make the pieces yourself if you are into that, it would be fun. Otherwise a necklace is always the classic choice, matching or an initial, but it doesn’t have to be expensive; sterling or gold filled is always fine.

ashler's avatar

You can gift them inexpensive bracelets with charms on it. You can even give them brooches as gifts. Check out online store and choose according to your budget. This way you can get a range of varying prices and choose accordingly.

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jyjy's avatar

i think you don’t need buy bridesmaids jewelry,this is not necessary.Or maybe you can hire some real jewelry or fake jewelry,such like jewelry props from some wedding celebration company,usually they has this operation.

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