General Question

Conrad_III's avatar

What do you think of unemployed men who live off the earnings of their wive/partners?

Asked by Conrad_III (60points) November 10th, 2007
Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

6 Answers

joli's avatar

Depends on why they’re unemployed, what they do with their time, and also if children live in the home. This relates to the opposite sex as well. Contribution in a household is not always monetary. I’m a worker-bee and furiously self-reliant, so I can’t relate to unemployment, unless someone is seriously ill and dependent.

sferik's avatar

The same thing that I think of unemployed women who live off the earnings of their husbands/partners.

skfinkel's avatar

If you are taking care of children, you are making am important contribution to your family, your children’s lives, and society. If you are sitting around watching TV, time to do some thinking about your life, your goals, and maybe what you are afraid of.

kevbo's avatar

I’ve been one for a year, and it came about through a convergence of many circumstances, including the desire on both our parts to be free to travel. At the time, I needed the break badly and am thankful to have had it, plus I envisioned a wide open opportunity to develop more creative pursuits. There is definitely a challenge, though, in terms of the amplification of one’s limitations and the need to balance consumption with production. Not to mention figuring out how to shower your lady with gifts and keep a straight face.

I’m guessing your question has more to do with stigma, though. Really, I think it comes down to the individual and a combination of his character and level of security. If it’s too weird for a guy to accept, then he probably shouldn’t do it. If it makes him feel like he’s won a small lottery (and it’s about love or some other mutually agreed value), he should do it at least for a little while. If being a housefrau for life is fulfilling, then why not? It’s a luxury for anyone these days (in the U.S.) to be able to live that lifestyle.

Also, there are studies out now that show urban women make more than their male counterparts, so for some couples who contemplate a single income household it probably makes better financial sense.

So to answer your question and assuming this was a mutually agreed upon deal, I would probably think the couple has good reasons for their arrangement or at least reasons that work for them and would judge the guy on other criteria. I would also assume he’s available for golf on a weekday.

Vincentt's avatar

Darn it, sferik, you said exactly what I wanted to say. In fact, I think you’ve used the exact same words.

cwilbur's avatar

Both people need to contribute to the relationship. Both people need to be comfortable with what the other person is contributing to the relationship.

The big issue here for me (because I’ve been on both sides of this, for various reasons) is dependency. I don’t want to be completely dependent on my partner, and I definitely don’t want my partner to be completely dependent on me. A healthy relationship needs to be a partnership of equals, and when one partner is dependent on the other, that doesn’t happen.

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