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tinyfaery's avatar

How can I control what I eat when my wife eats anything she wants (and she is the cook)?

Asked by tinyfaery (40474points) May 5th, 2009 from iPhone

I try to watch what I eat. I’m not obsessive about it, I just try not to eat too much crap. The thing is, my wife doesn’t have food issues like I do. She buys sodas, ice cream, cookies and candy all the time. She’ll come home, present me with a huge slice of red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting, and say “I wanted to get something special for you.”

I am really good about my food intake during the weekdays, when I’m at work, but when I am home there is just so much temptation.

How can I get my wife to stop bringing so much crap food into the house? Or, how can I keep myself from giving into temptation, especially when the food is especially for me?

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23 Answers

3or4monsters's avatar

What does she say when you tell her you’re trying to watch your weight?

Likeradar's avatar

Have you talked to her about this?

Judi's avatar

Tell her that if she wants to do something special for you that involves food to look up and try creative recipes with lots of vegetables in them.

GAMBIT's avatar

Stick to your diet once she sees that you are really serious about this I think she will try to be more supportive.

Good Luck I know diets can be hard.

jrpowell's avatar

Show her or tell her what you just wrote.

_bob's avatar

Lots of will power.

tinyfaery's avatar

I feel like I am always asking her not to bring so much junk into the house. She’ll abide for about a week then she goes back to buying crap.

Example: she went to get gas last week and I asked her to buy me a pack of Nerds. I had a craving and it was just one box. Last night she brought me this huge box of all the Nerds’ flavors. Now I feel obligated to eat them.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

Geezzzzzzz, she sounds clueless. She should be a little more aware of what you’re doing & cooperate more.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Just stick to what works for you and keep saying, no. People who eat treats or junk foods usually feel good offering them to others since it may feel polite to them or they think of that thing as a treat and think you should too or maybe they feel less bad about eating that stuff if they don’t eat it alone. Keep saying no.

tinyfaery's avatar

How do I say no when she buys me something because she was thinking about me? In all fairness, I am a sugar addict, and she knows this about me. I think she just wants to give me what she thinks I want, and sometimes it’s nice, and I feel special, but mostly, I feel responsible for accepting her gesture of love.

casheroo's avatar

Sounds like she wants you to gain weight. I swear, my husband does the same thing sometimes. He’ll say I’m too skinny, then start bringing home fast food…it’s a consiracy!

I know you say you’ve talked to her, but is she buying the food for you, or for herself? I think it’s hard to be on the same page about food with a spouse. Mine likes a lot of food that I don’t like, it’s easy for me to not eat it since I don’t like it.
I’m a junk food fiend though, and he knows this. We only shop at Trader Joe’s, which makes it easier to make healthier food choices. Maybe switch to a different store?? I don’t know what else to tell you.

Likeradar's avatar

@tinyfaery
Food =/= love.
You’re not responsible for accepting the food. Just say something like “I appreciate the thought, sweetheart, but I really don’t want all this sugar handed to me. Thanks though.” Repeat, repeat, repeat. And don’t eat it if you don’t want it. Maybe she thinks you really do like it since you keep accepting the food?

jbfletcherfan's avatar

It’s great that she brings home things because she ‘was thinking of you.’ But tell her to bring home things that aren’t junk. She’s not listening. Get her attention. You eating that crap isn’t helping you. It’s just encouraging her to buy more. The next time she brings home stuff you don’t want, just let it sit. Don’t eat it. She’ll soon get the idea. I’d hope

tinyfaery's avatar

Good idea @Likeradar I’ll try that, and I’ll try not think about the wasted food/money.

kevbo's avatar

@tinyfaery, I have the same problem and totally understand. I haven’t been very successful, in part, because i’m also having to battle my own willpower in addition to her tendencies. Maybe start by suggesting a 30-day reprieve and come up with an alternative to that impulse. You two may very well backslide, but at least you’ll get a break. Another thought is to ask to take over the kitchen for 30 days. Seeing barer/healthier pantry may help her adopt your POV. If she needs convincing, talk about how the status quo makes you feel unhappy with yourself (if that’s true). Good luck.

gailcalled's avatar

t’s called sabotage and is very common around food-related issuse. You two need to talk, and she needs to listen to you.

Blondesjon's avatar

You make the decision to eat or not eat. Temptation is just an excuse. I know this sounds dicky but it’s the truth. Once you wrap your head around the fact that you alone have 100% control over what you decide to ingest the rest is…uh…well, the rest is just cake.

Jeruba's avatar

Don’t know if this would work for you, but to some people you could say lightly, “You trying to kill me for some particular reason?” and then add in all seriousness that if she wants you to stick around for a while, she should be trying to support your efforts toward better health. Say that buying you a treat is a loving gesture, but not buying it is an even bigger one.

Maybe also you should not make her the agent of your cravings. That is going to send a mixed message.

charliecompany34's avatar

sometimes you should cook. i did this once for my wife and ended up being the cook for the house for the next 14 years. i love food and cooking and i know what i want and how it should taste.

when you have certain dietary needs, yeah, i must agree—it is hard to eat the right way when everybody else is just eating what they want without care.

i make it a job to eat healthy and cook healthy despite what the rest of the family wants. it is advantageous to know how to cook for yourself so whatever she plans to cook, you know a healthy alternative.

charliecompany34's avatar

1. smothered steak and mashed potatoes?
option: broiled or grilled sirloin and plain baked potato

2. fried chicken and french fries?
option: baked or grilled chicken breast with vegetable

3. fried pork chops and biscuits with gravy?
option: grilled lamb with mint and grilled zucchini

4. fried catfish and home-cut fries?
option: baked or grilled fish with wheat pasta

5. corned beef and cabbage with cole slaw?
option: go hungry that night.

6. spaghetti with meat and sauce and bread?
option: whole wheat pasta with no sauce and light olive oil and hint of pesto and mushrooms

7. ribs, slaw and bread with fires?
option: veal with vegetable

8. chicken parmesan?
option: eggplant lightly pan fried, no cheese, no red sauce with wheat pasta

9. beef stew?
option: broil beef chunks and serve with fresh vegetable

10. lasagna?
option: use turkey sausage or ground turkey laced with spinach and basil to make your own

tinyfaery's avatar

I do not cook. I am not allowed due to always burning myself or the food.

@blondesjon No duh! Did you read about my guilty feelings? Besides, willpower is a lot harder than just doing it.

Blondesjon's avatar

@tinyfaeryno…once you truly start doing it, it’s hard to stop

Jack79's avatar

@tinyfaery “I do not cook. I am not allowed due to always burning myself or the food.” LOL :)

I don’t know if you’ve already mentioned that you’re a woman too. I think it’s relevant here, because you say “my wife” and people automatically assume you’re a man.

Men usually don’t worry as much about their weight as women do. Probably because fashion magazines say they don’t have to. Women are often obsessed about their weight. I don’t know how tiny you are, tinyfaery, but if this happened to me, I’d just enjoy the food and say thanks. But I’m a man.

In your case, since you’re both women, she should know how you feel. I’m guessing you don’t have a weight problem and she’s consciously feeding you trying to curve you up a bit. You’re probably starving yourself to death or something. I can’t think of any other reason why one woman would feed another one like that. And unless she’s trying to actively sabotage your diet, it’s all out of love and you’re so lucky to have her.

so…enjoy the sugar!

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