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dani922's avatar

Do guys like Tomgirls or girly girls more?why?

Asked by dani922 (7points) May 25th, 2009

my name is Danielle, im 15 gunna be 16 in september. I’m kinda both…i have a twin brother that i hang around alot and i enjoy watching football games,hockey games, baseball games with him and all his friends.i love riding dirt bikes and four wheelers[: i also love going clay bird shooting with him and my dad. I’m also thinking about getting my hunting license soon [:. I can also be more like a girly girl at times too….i like going shopping with my friends and stuff like that and love txting. i do have alot more guy friends then girl friends. i love hanging out with guys, i get along with them better. I’m the type of girl who love country boys, and country music.[: what do you think?

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29 Answers

jackfright's avatar

my ideal girl would be girly on the surface, but tomgirl at heart.

you know, in a nice dress with hair all done up, but the sort that wouldn’t have any problems with pulling out a baseball bat or gun.

seriously though, tomgirls make better friends, but i’ll be more inclined to marry a girly girl. OR a tomgirl who knows when to be a girly girl.

Fyrius's avatar

Depends on the guy. I’m sure there are plenty of guys who prefer tomboys (“tomgirls”?) and plenty who prefer girly girls. And plenty who like something in between, probably.

If you’re considering which you want to be, don’t let it hinge on what will get you a boyfriend. Either could.

Grisaille's avatar

Guys like girls that are comfortable with themselves. That’s all; be yourself.

jrpowell's avatar

My girlfriend leans towards tomgirl. She doesn’t really wear make-up and likes camping and shooting stuff.

mrwhoopie's avatar

Tomboys are always thought of as friends. Girly girls are thought of in other ways!

Fyrius's avatar

As a side note, I’m a bit weirded out by the word “tomgirl”. The word tomboy is already a female-specific word.
Wouldn’t a tomgirl be a boy who behaves like a girl?

dani922's avatar

haha yeah sorry.i didnt mean to put that.

Bluefreedom's avatar

You have a wide variety of interests that I think males prefer and that would appeal to many different boys which is promising. You also mention that you balance it with female activities and behaviors you like also so it seems like you’re well rounded in your approach to either side of the spectrum whether it be Tomboyish or Girly Girlish.

Like others have already said, take your time in finding someone that will like you for the way you are and not how you might be able to adapt in a relationship to suit someone else’s perception of the way they want you to be.

You have plenty of time to have lots of fun and meet many different guys while learning and recognizing what is going to be the most satisfying experience for you. And welcome to Fluther!

rooeytoo's avatar

Be who you are and do what you want to do and don’t worry about what someone else of either sex may think. This is your only life (well unless you believe in reincarnation), don’t waste it being someone other than who you want to be.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

I tend to go for girls that are well adjusted, and do not feel a need to go to either extreme.

bright_eyes00's avatar

Dont change anything about yourself for a guy. I went through something similar. I’m a tomboy (camping, shooting, etc.) and i rarely wear makeup or dress in anything other than my cowboy boots and jeans. i wear tank tops but thats about it. i started liking this guy who subtly would make hints about things. next thing i know i’m wearing more makeup and i have those fake acrylic nails. i stopped spitting (good thing though) and i act more feminine. its not necessarily a bad thing but when i think about it its not really a good thing either that i let a guy influence who i am.

be true to yourself and you’ll find someone who truly deserves YOU not who you could be

oratio's avatar

Some guys love it, some guys don’t. Don’t worry about what boys like. You cannot change who you are, and you will meet guys who love you for being what you are. Being confident, having integrity and being true to yourself are very attractive qualities.

eponymoushipster's avatar

i like it down the middle.

dynamicduo's avatar

You can’t make these blanket statements! Well, you can, but you will find they do you no benefit in life.

Everyone is different. Some guys like tomgirls (which itself is a broad label – do you mean someone who plays with the boys, or someone who isn’t a girly girl, or someone who wears a bit of makeup but knows how to reassemble an engine, or someone who thinks for themselves but wears fashionable clothes, etc etc), some guys like girly girls (again, a broad label, do you mean a girl who talks about The Hills all day, a girl who wears makeup but has a career, etc).

Just be yourself, Danielle, and let the guys come to you. The #1 best way to be is to love yourself and be comfortable/content/confident with who you are. The reason I say this is because you are being honest about who you are, and that will attract more guys who respect and appreciate your natural honest qualities.

justwannaknow's avatar

If I had to pick one over the other I would pick the Tomboy. They are not afraid to do somehing that may break a fingernail. They can and will do what ever is within their capabilities, whether it is changing a tire or digging in the garden. If they get their hands dirty it is“oh well” and wash them and go on with life. When it is REALLY necessary they will still dress up fancy and be pretty for their guy.
Be who you are and let the guys accept you for that. If you are a little of both, all the better.

brettvdb's avatar

Personally I prefer girls who dress like girls. I love dresses and sexy tops with skirts, etc. My girlfriend looks great in whatever she wears though, and sometimes I love the way she looks in baggy sweatpants and a hoodie.

dani922's avatar

thanks everyone.

dalepetrie's avatar

Depends on the guy. But here’s what’s really important. When I hear “girly girl” vs. tomboy, I think that aesthetically, the “girly girl” would be more feminine, and therefore more physically attractive. But when I think of the term “tomboy”, though it carries the connotation of being less “made up”, it doesn’t necessarily preclude femininity, which is ultimately what is physically appealing to males. Usually a “tomboy” in the truest sense of the word is a girl who does her own thing, usually she is more attracted to the kinds of activities guys like than what girls like. Perhaps she is simply more into action films than chick flicks, or would rather spend time playing in sports than shopping for the must have fashion accessories. I think even a “tomboy” can accentuate her feminine side on the exterior, but I would say that based on personality alone, the perception I get is that a lot of “tomboys” are being themselves, where as a lot of “girly girls” are trying to live up to some particular image set by others.

My thinking on it is that labels are really meaningless. What really matters is that you have the courage to be yourself, whomever that self may be…you may have to “find” yourself to really know, but what I think is important is that you do what feels right to YOU. And here’s why….basically, you can put on airs to attract a guy, but what is that guy going to be attracted to…you, or the you you pretended to be? The answer is pretty obvious. If you be yourself, you will end up with a guy who likes you for who you are, if you try to be attractive to guys and have to do things which just aren’t you in order to do it, you’re going to end up with a guy who likes the illusion.

Darwin's avatar

My daughter (age 16) is considered to be a tomgirl in that she loves sports, is very active, and never minds getting dirty. She never met a skateboard she didn’t like, purely loves to run, and is a multi-sport varsity athlete. However, she is also incredibly feminine when she dresses up and she loves to shop and go to dances. She has been voted Class Favorite two years in a row and has been invited into the top social club at school. On top of that, she is smart, near the top of her class, and friends with quite a few geeks.

I find that an awful lot of boys like her, some because she is fun to hang out with but is also pretty, some because she is gorgeous when all dolled up, some because she is really smart and so understands what they are talking about, and some because she is, in their words, “crazy.” A few like her because of all of the above.

A very few guys don’t like her because she is 5’ 8 1/2” tall in bare feet, and almost 6’ tall in her favorite heels.

The best thing is to be yourself. If you like to climb trees, then climb trees. If you like to do your hair and nails, then do so. If you like to do both things at different times, then go for it. Not all boys will like you, and you assuredly won’t like all boys. Eventually, you will find a boy you like just the way he is and that likes you just the way you are. In fact, you may find several of them, so then you have to decide which one is a keeper.

charliecompany34's avatar

i have a work partner that was obviously a tom-boy back in the day. she has a sweet spirit and loves men. but i could never get into her romantically or sexually.

cwilbur's avatar

The project you need to work on is not changing yourself to suit what you think guys like—since guys like a broad variety of things—but to find a guy who likes the sort of girl you are.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

My wife is a tomboyish girl. she knows how to hunt, fish, clean game, and she likes to do outdoor things. She doesn’t wear makeup, you’d have to fight her to get her in a dress, and that’s exactly how I like her. Girls that squeal at bugs and snakes, wear frilly clothes and worry about clothes and shoes are a real turn off for me. But hey, that’s just me. Some guys like all that dainty primping BS, but that’s not my style.

You need to find a guy that likes you for who you are, and not try to be something you’re not to please him. Trust me, that never works, and if you’re not happy, then why bother?

Howdydooyahchoo's avatar

Ok well my boyfriend just broke up with me because I was too girly for him and I love hi
to death and I wish I wasn’t like that but then yu have to tell yourself that you don’t have to change yourself that you shouldn’t change who you are for a guy…

oratio's avatar

Zero Punctuation is a great video review. But he talks too fast.

Battousai87's avatar

i don’t really know how to answer this. I’ll start with this, it depends on the guy. some guys like a really girly girl, others like a tomboy girl. Personally, i don’t particularly like either of those extremes. there has to be a balance. For me the girl needs to be independent and capable girl. very intelligent, motivated, driven girls are best. But they have to be feminine as well. They have to have their girly moments for me, it’s so cute when they do, it’s irresistible >___< , it’s the contrast between the two that i really like. I want a girl to well, to not need me, but to also want me anyways, you know? I feel like girly girls are often to needy, and tomboy girls are to independent. ultimately she really has to be feminine dress and act like a girl more than a guy. i hate to gender role but face it we’re a divided species, we should look the parts. we dont’ have to act purely a girl, or purely a guy, there should be a balance and each is capable of both factions of gender

i digress though. be yourself, tomboy, girly girl, inbetween, or something else, some guy somewhere will like what you are however you define it, and if the ones you’re around don’t like it then their loss, blow them off and find the one who does like you for who you are.

shf84's avatar

I can’t stand girly girls who want to be protected and want me to be their daddy that makes me sick they have no spine and they suck. I don’t know about a girl that acts like a bad ass either I don’t like thugs at all. I do like women who are themselves. If a girl can pull a trasmission or fly an air plane that’s a major turn on.

cornbird's avatar

Depends on how you dress. Guys dont really care too much whether you are a tom boy or girly girl too much, its how you portray yourself. You say you are a little of both, then you should have no problem.

meagan's avatar

What do you like? Everyone likes different things. Everyone lives a different life which programs us to like different things in ideal mates.
There is no “ideal” person that the opposite gender will prefer (or the same gender, whatever youre into). You could be Marilyn Monroe and someone would still find something wrong with that.
Just worry about being yourself. You don’t want to be with someone that likes a persona you’ve made up.
It doesn’t matter what anyone’s opinion is. “I like this. I like that.” Your soulmate will like you for exactly what you are. Flaws included.

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